My Incurable cancer

I have been on this site a few times over this month. I am still struggling with an OCD issue that I suffer from when I get anxiety and guess what I am thinking about is still how long have I got. My husband and I went to the Boxing Day sales yesterday and seen this all singing and dancing mattress and we may buy it but what is in my head is it worth having a new mattress and so expensive cos time may be limited for me. I have a few months ago seen a psychologist at my local hospital . I would like to ask a moderator is it worth me getting in touch again after all this time to discuss how I feel Cos I have a feeling that all this ocd May affect my physical well being and me bloods will be all wrong and me scan might show worse.things on the 5th Jan .Just need some guidance Sorry for being a pain but don t like to bother my family as everybody getting on with their lives. Thanks for reading this

  • Hi Rosey, 

    I'm sorry to hear you're struggling at the moment but I'm glad you've posted to share your thoughts with us.

    If you feel this may be starting to impact on your physical well-being then it may be worth getting back in touch with the psychologist to chat about how you are feeling but only you can decide if this is the right course of action for you. Many of our members know how helpful it can be to chat to an outside source when times get tough so this may be what you need right now to calm your anxiety, especially in the run up to the 5th January, and hopefully some of them will also stop by to offer their support and advice and share their experiences with you.

    Chat to us here as much as you want or need to rosey as there will always be someone here that will understand what you are going through.

    Kind regards, 

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Hello rosey, it is me Annieliz again - I was the one who laughed at your husband telling you that you had been snoring.  I think I would buy the mattress - enjoy some good nights sleep as I know you had been having trouble prior to seeing your doctor.  I am pleased to hear from you again but sorry that you are struggling and hope that you will take Steph's advice.  I cannot imagine that anyone thinks you are a pain but they (and we) want you to be comfortable and happy in what you are doing.  I also think your family would be happy to be "bothered" by your concerns.  I don't mean to belittle your OCD by the way.   I just think you are a nice lady.

  • Hi Rosey

     

    I think you need a treat and a new mattress will do nicely.  Buy it. 

     

     

  • Hi Rosey,

    Your feelings and worries are perfectly natural for someone in your situation, they are situational anxieties and you wouldn't be human if you didn't react in some way or other.

    Even without pre-existing OCD I had an almost identical reaction when I was first diagnosed, right down to not buying a pair of trainers because I thought I'd never get any use out of them. 

    Believe it of not I even had the same conversation with my wife about buying a new mattress. In the end I discovered that I could buy the same one from mattress online for about half the cost it was in the bank holiday sale - including next day delivery from Rotherham right up to the bedroom.

    I hope you buy and enjoy that mattress :-)

    Best wishes
    Dave

  • There we are then - three in favour of the mattress, no votes against.  Enjoy!

  • Thank you everybody for listening to me I am going to see my psychologist in the New Year to sort this problem out and yes did get that mattress yesterday It’s my treat and useful for husbands bad hip . Thank you again Can’t believe there is some lovely people out there that will give me such lovely feedback Just brings me to tears

  • Hi.

    im new to these chats but I feel for every single one of you. Can I just say that I wish you the best for the future I hope all your treatments go well. 

    Big hug. 

    Martin. 

  • Hi Rosey, 

    I went ages before I would buy anything!...I thought "if I've only got 6 months to live what's the point?". I forgot that there could be quite a chunk of time still left...my mind used to race with so many horrible imaginary scenarios that I lived in a permanent state of alarm and panic.

    So I asked for help, and the psychologists were brilliant!

    Now, 6 1/2 years on, I realise that I must make the most of the time I have left (I wasted quite a lot of that precious 6 years worrying instead of living my life and and making plans). I realised that I only had fight enough in me for one thing. I had spent so long trying to survive AND trying to accept the "death" scenario. Suddenly I realised that I only had enough energy for ONE of those battles because they were utterly in conflict.

    My attitude now is one of planning for all eventualities cos I never know exactly what's round the corner and, perhaps I will still be here into the future?...nobody knows. So I plan for a future too... I try to look at it in a way one eminent medic suggested: my cancer is not actually "terminal" until I'm gone. And I'm not dead yet, and it's not going to get me today, so I continue to live my life, and buy suff if it pleases me, and plan my future with hope that I can surf on the wave of new treatments.

    It certainly has helped me to chat to other people who are in my position as we understand each other.

    I hope you have a good 2018 Rosey

  • Hi Mare Thank you for your input on how this deadly disease can affect your think patterns and make you so negative! Everything you have said is identical to how I feel.You worry all the time and leave no hours to plan your life. Tomorrow is a New Year and I am seeing a psychologist on a Thursday. This time I need to keep these sessions going instead of thinking I can do this myself and backing out halfway through.I have had a big shock yesterday that’s not helped me . My Auntie has just died of cancer. Been so emotional

    I just ask God to help me get back on the right track and pray that he will help all other cancer sufferers. Also there families cos it has a knock on affect with their feelings too A Happy New Year to all that have answered my posts Love you all Julie (Rosey ) xxxxxxx

  • The same to you and your family, it's a hard time to be dealing with this and I wish you well.  Cazx