Hi Alex thanks for the fingers crossed, as you say just hoping it works. 

Love Billy xxx 

Hi viv51,

Getting used to a diagnosis is difficult. Like you I was tearful for a while after my diagnosis. Be kind to yourself and try to stay positive. Sending you lots of hugs and kisses xoxoxox 

Thank you Viv! Xxxxxxxxxx

Hi Mare, I want to say you are brave and strong which you are, but I know you also are forced I to the situation. I am a 55 year old mother of threw darling daughters ,13,13 and 14. Music teacher, do a.lot in the community. I went I to hospital thinking I had covid at the end of may, but it was a return of the bc I had in 2013. I was discharged in feb 2019. Now it is in my lung lining, lymph and possible.bone and I think back in breast. Am on ribociclib and letrozole. I have  changed my diet, went vegan initially but then I troduced venison and fish because I had a low wbc. I have read Jane Mclellands book and gathered supplements, and signed up to Care Oncology in London for off label meds but am hesitating to start because the local oncologist is anti. I would love to know what you have been doing. I think the emotions are very hard, I am in anguish about my family and myself and the life I had. 

Hi there Funkieflute,

I honestly always stick with the advice of my oncologist. If I have any questions that I feel need more answers to, I ask to be sent for a second opinion. I do some things which help me to feel more in control, like replacing refined foods with healthier alternatives.

But everything I do is with full approval of my oncologist (even if the medics don't believe that the additional things I do will help me, I always ask for reassurance that they won't hurt me or interfere with my medical treatment).

For instance, I regularly fry with turmeric and black pepper, which has been known to interfere with some treatments I think. I always check these things out with my oncologist before I change anything.

I think it's important to feel like you're part of a team with your oncologists and nurses. Perhaps they need to help you with this?

Also, if you decide to do any alternative treatments, could that effect your chances of getting future trials? That might be worth looking into.

Yes. Brave. Not really. You're right. What choice is there? My thinking is really to do whatever I can, to stay as healthy as I can, for as long as I can, in order to access new treatments as they come along. Things have improved considerably since my own stage 4 diagnosis in 2011, and our chances of staying stable for longer are similarly improving I think?

This must be a terrible time for you and your beautiful girls. I remember having to tell my three. I was 44 and my prognosis at that time was pretty poor. It was the most painful thing I had to do to tell them. I still can't talk about it without tears. But, on the plus side, since then, my kids have all gone through school, then uni, and all have jobs now. They have been amazingly resilient throughout, even through really low tough times. They all think I'm blinking indestructible now, and that comes with its own difficulties for me!

I still need to feel in control of what is happening to me. I still ask so many questions- I'm sure the nurses used to duck under their counters when they saw me coming lol! (Actually they probably didn't but it just felt like I was being a difficult patient at that time).

Anyway, I'm waffling now.

Please feel free to pm me If you like as I will always answer - some of my feelings are just too painful to want to discuss them too publicly.

Take your time my friend, be gentle with yourself. One day at a time.

Every day I wake up, and I think to myself "I am still here. It's not going to get me today," and then I just get on with my day feeling safe in that day.

And I make plans for all eventualities...even survival. Now 9 years on I'm glad I did.

Love and hugs,

Mary

Xxxxxxx

Thank you, I have just send a friend request which I think will allow.me to message you x

Hi

I've just been diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer in my liver and I am very frightened.

I'm 57 and have two grown up children and a loving husband. 
 

I'm just about to have my second chemo treatment. This has come as a shock as I was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer straight away. 

Hi Julie,

Yes. I totally get you. It's like being in a nightmare isn't it, being diagnosed stage 4 at the start?

If you were diagnosed recently I should think being "Very frightened" is quite an understatement!

I remember how things were for me at the start of my journey; a similarly big shock.

You will find everyone on here really helpful and kind - and there are quite a lot of us. Also, you'll find people like me, who have been LIVING with metastatic cancer for some long time, as well as others who are going through similar experiences with you.

Medicines are improving all the time aren't they? And, I think, if your treatment manages to get your cancer stable, you may find things not feeling as dire as they do now. But your oncologists will advise you on all that (I can't as I have no medical training).

When I was first diagnosed at 44 I hated everyone over 50, because I did not expect to reach 50, and I resented everyone with grandchildren, because I never thought I'd see any!

Now I'm nearly 54, and I have almost 6 grand children! So you never know what the future holds, it might bring some good surprises too?

My own breast cancer had spread throughout both of my lungs and my liver before I knew about it. My disease was Invasive Ductal Carcenoma, moderately aggressive, oestrogen receptive. And the turmoil of emotions that I went through in the first six months after diagnosis was extraordinary.

Feel free to message me privately if you like. I always answer. I am more than happy to talk about my own experiences honestly. But I find some of my more difficult emotional stuff is hard to discuss on a public forum.

Best wishes to you Julie,

Love and hugs,

Mary

Xxx

Thanks Mare. Not sure how to pm you so sent a friend request through as I think that's how you do i