Hi Sandra,

Welcome to Cancer Chat. I am sorry to hear about your recent diagnosis.You are doing well by trying to cope one day at a time.The first letter you received today wasn't so bad.. It is going to remove the cancer in your breast and give you the chance to live a normal life once all this treatment is over, so the sooner you start the sooner you'll be finished with it all. The second was a definite bonus.

What surgery are you going to have - a lumpectomy or a mastectomy?

I have had 2 bouts of primary breast cancer. The first was diagnosed 7 years ago and the second the following year. Have you got a treatment plan in place post-surgery?

Please stay in touch. Remember, there is always someone here whenever you feel like talking.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamine.

Thanks for the reply. 

I have 2 small lumps in my R breast (no one can feel them nor is there any outward change to be seen nor pain. Caught on routine screening).

They are grade 1 and grade  2 both invasive cancers. On MRI my lymph nodes look clear.

I am having a lumpectomy on the 21st as a day case. They are hoping to make 1 incision to get to both but will re assess on day. They are also taking 2 sentinel nodes for biopsy just in case. 

After the op all things being equal I am to have radiotherapy mon to fri for 3 wks.

Wow how matter of fact does it all sound in the written word when it is so not.

7yrs post diagnosis - I tip my hat to you Jolamine. When we are first diagnosed it's like our lives ended in that moment. This is so not true "living with Cancer" never a truer word.

take care Jolamine 

Sandra x

Hi there Cornishpasty  ... not looked on here for awhile. . ... as knew Sandra and jolomine was looking after you all ... but just wanted to say will be thinking of you over the next few weeks ... i know its a lot of highs and lows ... its not a bad thing to have a few tears sometimes ... we all get them days .. but you got the boxing gloves on, ready to take him all the way down this journey of ours ... I've got to have a few little lumps out under scar around same time ... we can do this xx

It really does help ... it's like standing up to the bully .... I'm really proud of you ... you go girl ...

Will pop back every so often for updates ... big hug Chrissie

Hi Nikki,

I just wondered if your iron tablets are beginning to kick in yet?

Regards,

Jolamine xx

Thanks Chris:-)

bless hope yr lil one is feeling better soon too. Scarlet fever is doing the rounds here too at nursery nd school as is chicken pox. It’s awful when they r poorly isn’t it.

no bad today:-)

good:- it’s Easter weekend... happy Easter everyone. Hope that you enjoy it as best u can.

Family meet nd eat later... fish nd chips... good times x

Morning peeps 

no bad today:-)

good:- Been swimming. Done shops. Cakes baked. Nd it’s only just after 11 am :-) heading t Toby Carvery for lunch the maybe a nana nap cos babysitting tonight :-) x

Earl Grey tea rooms in York waiting for brekkie, full english. Special treat then home to finish decorating! Ying and Yang!

Oh how fabulous - go u girl. You enjoy every min u deserve it :-) x

Hi Chrissy

How do you keep doing it again and again?

I had a dark day yesterday (sounds a bit dramatic as I'm stage 1). I sat and spoke with my partner about practicalities if things get worse over time. He was really not wanting the conversation but I am such a practical person that I can't settle without having plans in place to ensure he and my 8 year old will be ok. As such I'm thinking of moving some money around for a worse case scenario fund. Today I'm questioning myself as this doesnt feel like im being optimistic, positive and strong....which is what I want to be. What a ride this is huh!

Hi cornishpastie

Sure [@Chriss]‍ will b along soon.

In the mean while just wanted t say - No mistaking it you have been side swiped out of nowhere. Having a “bad” day is totally normal so don’t b so hard on yourself. 

Nothing wrong  with looking at all practicalities... some things just should b in place regardless. I’m grade 2 but when I was diagnosed didn’t have a will - I do now:-) let’s face it my will should have been in place anyway - u know the old “might get hit by a bus” scenario :-) 

I didn’t focus on the practicalities of my treatment... I literally obsessed on them. Bless the lasses who supported me on here throughout my obsessions were my rock ( thank you ladies- you know who u are).

The endless questions on what to take with me on op day ( I mean really it’s - slippers, dressing gown nd kindle) seriously the amount of me t you t me t u questions.... yup obsessed with the detail:-) again... thank u lasses.

Guess it was my way of dealing. Whatever your way is then what the hey you do whatever it takes.

x

Thank you Sandra. It caught me by surprise as I've been quite positive all through so far and it shook my partner that I wanted to have that conversation. 

Yes I'm starting to obsess on the right pyjamas etc as will be in overnight. Any tips would be appreciated on this lol xxx

Careful ... floodgates cornishpastie floodgates;-)

Reckon 2 things to remember 1. It’s a bit like being dropped on the edge of an abyss looking down ( being phased and scared is normal) 2. You will be stepping back from the edge to live your life with those you love and care for you. 

Now u have triggered my dormant obsession :-) Wear clothes, pyjamas nd underwear that you can get into easily ( just in case you are a bit tender). So pyjama top that goes on like a cardi nd front fastens. I got a couple of seamless, front fastening, wire free bras ( support without digging in nd easy to fasten). See the trend here- easy to put on nd comfy. 

Ask away on anything you are unsure of. We are all here t help:-) x

Careful ... floodgates cornishpastie floodgates;-)

Reckon 2 things to remember 1. It’s a bit like being dropped on the edge of an abyss looking down ( being phased and scared is normal) 2. You will be stepping back from the edge to live your life with those you love and care for you. 

Now u have triggered my dormant obsession :-) Wear clothes, pyjamas nd underwear that you can get into easily ( just in case you are a bit tender). So pyjama top that goes on like a cardi nd front fastens. I got a couple of seamless, front fastening, wire free bras ( support without digging in nd easy to fasten). See the trend here- easy to put on nd comfy. 

Ask away on anything you are unsure of. We are all here t help:-) x

Ha ha Sandra you made me laugh. Right pulling myself together again. 

I hadn't thought about front fastening bras!!!! Huge tip. Thank you....front fastening everything here I come!

Just jump in here as well, if you have some bbq tongs around, keep them handy for when you get home. Useful for reaching out to grab stuff without overstretching your arm for the first few days. 

Oh that is a good tip. Can I ask how long it took for you to recover. I've had to give work a rough timescale and I've said a week off. They know this is flexible and understand why and aren't putting pressure on me. But I have a stressful job (social worker) so am out driving to visits and carrying files, lots of note taking and typing up of assessments. Let alone the occassional angry person. I want to be realistic but also want to get back asap after for normality. 

I went back to work after two and a half weeks. The docs at the hospital signed me off for two weeks straight away. I worked half days for two weeks, my boss insisted I didn’t overdo it and then back full time until radiotherapy mid point. I worked half days for the last part of treatment and then for me fatigue really kicked in. I was off for a month after treatment finished. 

Thanks Rileyroo. I do wonder if I'm underestimating the time I will need off. To complicate things only my close colleagues know so being in here and there is likely to cause lots of questions. I think I will play it by ear and not put anything in my diary for a few weeks post surgery just in case.

We’re all different, I know people on here keep saying that but it is very true. Sandra123 had virtually no fatigue and so was able to get on with things almost straight away. I had no skin issues, a lot of people do during and after radiotherapy. Block out two weeks on your diary, you have a stressful job, certainly mentally and I would imagine physically on occasion and give yourself recivery time. 

I think that's the problem in a nutshell....no one has a clue how they will cope. Emotionally or physically. I've started to talk to my work to plan to be off for the entirety of my radiotherapy and possibly a few weeks after. My service head has said I can do whatever I feel able or not and the will support me. Sadly they lost 3 social workers in my service area to cancer last year alone so they know what it can be like. I was just explaining to Chriss that I have a financial buffer in a well woman policy so extended time off if needed is not going to be crippling financially. At least i wont have to worry about that. X

If you work on local govt (you said you are a social worker), time off wouldn’t be a problem, at least not initially. My boss’s sister has had two bouts of breast cancer so he was and is aware of what can happen. I actually refused to discuss my situation with my line manager as he couldn’t grasp that I couldn’t put dates and timelines on treatment and recovery. 

Your youngest daughter will be fine, she probably is already aware that something is happening, kids aren’t daft. She is certainly going to be aware when you are in hospital overnight. I think there might be a section on this site about how to talk to children so what comes after isn’t a shock and doesn’t frighten them. 

I’ve actually met up with one of the other ladies you have chatted to on here and we are planning to do it again some time! I’m a tyke and proud of it, she lives closer to you so we met up in London. 

Hey Rileyroo

I am definately up for a meet up. We haven't used the c word with the youngest. We just told her that their is a part of mummys booby that is sick and the doctor has to take it away. She asked a few questions....more about who would look after her and daddy while I'm in hospital lol. I had to explain that daddy is able to look after himself and her....it was quite a funny conversation. 

I might ask for a meeting with HR so that I can be clear on things with them but feel quite ok that they will be supportive.

Davek, one of the guys on here, directed me to part of this site regarding cancer and how to deal with employers. I found it extremely useful, might be worth a read.