Hi dear Sue and Billy, love Reading your updates, Sue our restrictions are in place until 21st June!!  It's not funny as so many millions of us have had the vaccine but they are being super cautious so many weeks to go perhaps they love keeping us locked up.  I've been out with Margaret today to a farm shop which also has a beautiful upstairs department with clothes, jewellery, China and lots of other gorgeous goods so I bought Ella a Joules top in navy and white stripes and pink Unicorns on it as an Easter gift.  We bought cream scones and coffee to sit in the outside area but when we walked to reach it we had to walk through a muddy field so we gave up and sat in the car in the warmth.  Lisa and Tugs are having their jabs on Saturday so really happy about that.  She liked her vase and said its nearly the same peach colour.  So take care you two and Billy we know you let us be the Boss, we're not daft!!  Carol xx

Hubby has a cough but we're both ignoring it apart fro me going, Oh dear where did that come from?  I dread to think how we would have coped during lockdown if he had been as ill as he was this time last year, I think one of us would have ended up dead or left!!  I've been for a walk with Margaret as she had her consultant phone call early doors about her hip.  So one, she needs to lose weight, two she has to do unlady like exercises (think smear examination!) so we laughed about it.  Off round the village reminiscing about where I had lived and the old double fronted house I had worked in when Lisa was little, The Mad professor and his wife, is now up for sale.  This was an extra job I had to earn another five pounds by cleaning this old house each week.  I did earn my money mind.  He was high up in the army and she had been a ballerina, they had no children and spent many years away with servants, house boys, dinner dances, entertaining and had a wonderful life.  So they asked me to work as a companion /house keeper but I declined as I knew it would be tough as they were late seventies and expected me to do it all, I was  just thirty.  One day she asked me to get something from her dressing room, where's that I asked?  Behind the massive old dressing table that I couldn't even move was a door, I'd never seen it before, so I crawled underneath the dressing table as it was too heavy to move and there was a secret room full of ball gowns, tiaras, shoes, fur coats, dazzling jewellery and handbags, what a treasure trove.  So I told Margaret the story as we stood and looked at it, the garden was so long that it ran the full length of our house that we lived in at the time.  Hubby was asked to mow the lawn, he did it once and they gave him nothing, zilch so he refused next time but there was a beautiful lavender tree that grew so big I could reach out of my bedroom window and cut swathes of lavender for our house.  So hubby is now eating steak and onions, I'm having tuna and jacket potato.  Oh and a glass of rose'. See you tomorrow.  Xx

A beautiful sunny day again, doesn't life seem more achievable in this lockdown with sunshine.  I'm sat in my clean dressing gown as I seem to keep dropping food down my front so it had jam stuck to it, I thought I would ignore it but my hair is so long it keeps getting stuck to it!!  Hubby is tucked up in bed with a morning cup of tea and we may have a little drive out to have a fresh view,, we're both fed up with four walls.  It's Ann's birthday today so I took some Daffodils and chocolates I'd bought at the farm shop, she had brought another wig but the fringe was sticking out at an angle so it's going back, she was well enough to have her chemotherapy so she did go.  I did some gardening yesterday but my energy is so low that after half an hour I came into the house.  There is so much to do but until my strength is back I'll just have to keep doing a little bit, but everything is soaking wet after months of snow and rain although all my bulbs are sprouting merrily away all good signs of spring around the corner.  I'm going to ring my GP tomorrow to see if my second dose can be altered to the Pfizer vaccine, I knew I would have a bad reaction as I was the same with the flu jab, perfectly happy and healthy then wiped out for a month, it's so hard but I know it's worth it so I'll see what they say.  So off to get dressed now.  See you soon, love Carol x 

Margaret rang me as she has been trying to buy cake forks and a cake slice so that when we visit she can be posh like me!  So she spent hours on e Bay bidding for one, won the bid and then had to pay three pounds for delivery, the same with the forks, I did laugh as I think I paid similar in the shop and chose in five minutes flat, she told Paul and he said, why are you buying cake forks you're not allowed cake because you are on a diet!!  What a misery guts.  She had bumped into Keith (June's husband who is in a home with dementia) and he can see her next Monday for the first time since June last year, it is their Golden Wedding Saturday and he broke down in tears.  I said I would send a card but she thought that might upset him but I think to ignore it is worse, she is still alive, still his wife and he should have that acknowledged, Margaret agreed.  I've had bad news today, Isabella has been told they will be withdrawing Peter's ventilator as he is not going to recover, she has agreed but will not be allowed to see him for one last time, this is so cruel and makes no sense to me, how can you be left bereft and alone whilst your husband dies?  There are certain rules that are completely wrong and this is one of them.  Hubby is not feeling well today and is now asleep, he can't put his finger on it but it worries me as we don't know how his cancer is doing, it's never going away so it's always going to grow back at some point.  So a little sad this afternoon but there is nothing I can do but be there for people.  Take care, Carol x 

I'm not in a good mood today, we had to drive to Bishop for his blood tests,it was foggy and miserable and I tried to lighten the mood by telling him a funny story but after ten words he said, oh look its one pound 22p for diesel there, so I stopped talking, carry on he says, furget it I say back, if the price of petrol is more important then I'll shut up.  He was quick today but then proceeded to moan about the guy who took the bloods being a misery guts and not helping, having to walk the whole length of the hospital so he argued with the guy on the door, he was very proud of his stance, me not so much!  Well we could go to the surgery a mile away, you don't have to walk, but no his bloody mindedness comes into play and he sulks that he trusts the hospital more, well shut up moaning then I tell him, let's just say we had a quiet drive home.  We're OK now I think he realised what he had done.  I'm off to get a card for Isabella as I know Peter is having his ventilator switched off, maybe that's why I'm feeling down today.  I tell you how bad this lockdown is getting, on Friday Margaret and I walked the village as I lived there for thirty years, we passed one of the girls I knew previously and she turned her back on us pretending not to see us, now I know how she is so I said nothing.  But last night on Facebook someone had asked what all the police and flashing lights on Saturday night had been for, apparently a young girl had lost control of her car, crashed through a fence and gone down a field into the nursery gardens, do you know what Jill replied, "I'm soo pleased as I thought it was someone breaking the lockdown rules and the police had been called out"!  I despair of the human race.  See you soon, love Carol x 

Dearest carol glad Norman got blood test done, despite gentleman being a misery guts,.

Glad you're still showing him who's boss.

I've been in garden this morning part burying a toilet and cistern ,off the old bathroom units nice sage green colour so it blends in with everything else, left it about three inches high,so I can put small plants in and they can be seen from the house carer came and gave me a strange look when I told her what I'd done then she saw them and thought it a good idea.just need plants there on order from a catelogue.

Take care and keep safe.

Love Billy xxxx

P.s just had eyes tested to make sure I'm, okay to drive.all okay there,so a good day so far.

What a brilliant idea and eco friendly Billy.  I've been gardening but it's very cold here today so I'm saying in.  I have three little heaps of branches and leaves to pick up but the lawn is soaking wet.  I've just bought him a meat and potato pastie and he said I'm very thoughtful, see the telling off worked.  I did look to see if they had birthday cakes in as it's his 75rh Thursday but also treatment day and he usually doesn't eat much so I gave up.  My mind is willing but the body is weak!!  I rang Margaret and told her that I had just realised that her photo on my phone was a Boot (as we walk together) but then I realised that if she saw that logo she might think I had her down as An Old Boot, we did giggle.  Pleased you can see to drive, I've found it helps to see where you're going.  Have a good day, love Carol x 

We're not having a good week as my husband is in a really mean angsty mood, if I say black he says white.  I asked him to take me to Marks and Spencer to get a golden wedding anniversary card for Keith and June, I could have gone alone but he wanted a ride out, he has been argumentative all morning and we had fallen out by the time we got there.  I got some gin whilst there as I have a feeling I'm going to need it.  Back home I showed him the card which was expensive and he looked at it and said I don't think this is a good idea at all sending a card when June's in a home it will make him sad, he had said on Sunday that he thought it was a nice idea, so I asked why he had changed his mind, because he felt like it he said, then threw it at me saying don't bother showing me things if you ignore my feelings!!  So I've written it out and driven To Keith's and popped it through the door.  This is the first time in a year that he has been like this and my mind immediately takes me to the darkest place, is the cancer in his liver starting to cause problems because this is how he was before treatment.  It's his birthday tomorrow and it's not going to be a happy day, no family, no friends, no meal out and having his immunotherapy tomorrow afternoon.  I hate this cancer so called journey, its a bumpy road and you never know where you are.  Love Carol x 

Dearest carol sorry Norman is being so antsy really you have enough to think about without that... please don't think the worst (how he was before treatment started).

I know its not the same, but I have problems with Brenda things she wants doing wether easy or impossible and she won't listen to commonsense.it doesn't matter to her how I feel . there rant over.

We do what we can we can only do so much then that's it.so deep breath and relax.hope birthday Goes well, especially a good meal and a good drink (alcohol free), take care and keep positive remember you have plenty of friends to talk to when you get down remember.

Love Billy xxxx

Ps happy birthday to Norman.

Dear Carol and Billy,

21st June seems a long way of, especially as so many have had the vaccine.  We are back to what we had been at again so not a lot of restrictions, mainly just a mask if we can't keep our distance (mainly supermarkets, large stores and big shopping centres).  Ella's Easter present sounds lovely.  Not surprised there was a muddy patch you had to walk through to sit outdoors, with the weather/snow you've had.  Your weather seems to be finally improving, while ours is getting cooler, not sure what happened to our summer this year.  We had a couple of hot days but not the months of warm weather we usually get.  The days generally haven't been too bad, around 18-20 degrees, but the nights have been really quite cold.  Cold enough that I've used the electric blanket.  I've been very busy since I last wrote.  We had a lovely meal for Deana's birthday.  Just a barbeque, marinated chicken, pork and lamb, salads and baked potatoes, and a desert after, but was lovely having company, 7 adults, 2 babies and Eli.  I ended up doing a shift at Anam Cara prior to our dinner.  I got a phone call to see if I could fill in.  Then had a my regular Sunday there and also did Tuesday evening as they were short.  I had Eli on Monday and Wednesday as Deana worked both days where she usually has one of them off.  And also watched him Tuesday morning as he had a speech appointment late Tuesday morning, so Nick came home at 10.00 to take him for his 10.30 appointment, then he went to day care.  I'll have him tomorrow morning as Deana is going to the flower market.  She picks him up about 9.30 to take him to day care.  It was funny though this morning.  Nick had got up for work at 5.45am and Mr. Higgins was in the family room.  Nick thought it odd but didn't give it another thought (I always lock him and Cookie in my room when I go to bed), he went to work,  Then Deana gets up about 7.30 and starts getting ready for work, Eli generally wakes about 8.00am and she gets his breakfast and gets him ready for day care.  This morning though, I wake up at 8.00 to a strange noise in my bedroom, and then hear talking, realise it's one of the shows Eli watches on the tablet.  So I call out to him and he gets up and comes to me, (I'm still in bed), I ask him if Mum (Deana) knows he's here. "No", he says, so I call out to Deana.  She would have got an awful fright if she had gone to wake him and he wasn't in his room.  We figure he had been there since before Nick woke up, just laid on the carpet at the foot of my bed and watched his tablet.  He was so tired when he got home from day care that he fell asleep on the couch eating an apple at 6.20.  It will be interesting to see what time he wakes up in the morning.  Tomorrow I have my shift at Anam Cara, then a quiet day on Saturday, which I'm looking forward to after all these early starts this week, I'm a night owl and don't generally do early mornings that often. Then back at Anam Cara on Sunday for my shift.

I hope Norman's cough and mood have improved.  It's byt any chance his birthday tomorrow, that has got him in a mood.  Woulod have been interesting working for the mad professor and his wife, can't believe you had to crawl under the dressing table to get to the dressikng room.  Can olnly imagine the clothes and other items it contained.  LOvely that you took Ann some daffodils and and chocolates for her birthday.  THe last 12 months would have been so hard for Keith being able to see June.  I think the card idea is lovely, Golden Anniversary is such an achievement and it should be acknowledged, it's a shame they can't really celebrate it.  Such sad news for Isabella, I don't see what harm it would cause for her to be able to see him under the circumstances.  It woulod be a nurse that does his blood tests regardless of where they are done.  They get funny ideas these men sometimes, I'm guessing you'll never change his mind.  Don't think the worst because of his mood, have a lovely day for his birthday, hopefully once you get home from his treatment, he'll cheer up a little.  I'm sure the family will at least call for his birthday, it really is a shame they can't visit.  Wish him Happy Birthday.  Have a G&T and enjoy the remainder of the day.  I had a lovely Rhubarb and Ginger G&T the other night.

Billy, Your toilet in the garden would be lovely, I've actually seen one in a garden with plants in it, and it looked really pretty, so get some plants for it.  Good to hear you eyes are fine and your fine to drive.  Hope you, Bren and Bella are all doing as best you can.

Take care and love to all.  Sue xx