Hi Billy,

 I'm glad you are not in as much discomfort from the rads. I never had radiotherapy because I opted to lose a boob in order to get rid of the cancer,but from what I've heard from others who have had it, tiredness is one of the results you have to put up with for the benefit you gain.

Do you realise how amazing it is to hear Brenda is trying to do what she can? When I think of how she was when they took her into hospital when she could barely do anything, I am astounded at her improvement. It just shows how the wrong treatment and medicine can do more harm than good.
 

I am delighted to say I have finished the two dog paintings that I've been commissioned to do  for Christmas presents for their owners. I am going to do one of Smudge, for my daughter, but she is only half expecting it, so I'm taking a short break before I start Smudge to catch up with housework that goes out of the window when I start painting, and I also have a good book to finish.  A friend gave it to me and keeps asking if I have read it yet. She told me it is really good and I have to read it. I started it yesterday and it is good, going to be quite a gory gangsters and lawyers story, which I will read in a day, if I don't do anything else. Unfortunately Archie makes sure I have other things to do, so I might be finished by weekend.  I'm going to an Arts and Crafts  Fair on Saturday with my girlfriends to see what other people have been getting up to.  My best friend's husband started painting at about the same time as me, but having a very organised wife, (and no housework or cooking to do,) he has been able to study with a tutor for the last five years and is much more productive than me. His wife says it costs a fortune for all his equipment, so to recoup some of the costs, she sells his work at places like the one we're going to.  My daughter, bless her, says he's not as good as me, but he is. He knows the techniques for producing an effect, whereas I know what I want to create, but have to do it by trial and error, which, of course,takes longer.

My son's father-in-law passed away, yesterday, in Ireland.  Fortunately they got the message that he was fading and were able to get there a couple of days before he passed. They will stay there as long as they are needed. It's so sad when it happens at this time of the year,Christmas will never be the same for the family.

Rest as much as you can, Billy, the tiredness is the body's way of telling you not to do too much.

Love

Christine xx

Dear Christine i always rest as much as possible, still like house dusted and vacuuming each week at least and shopping done, carers office being a pain got call this afternoon asking if 9 o'clock and a man was ok for Brenda shower as you can guess i said no chance. 

I've been reading my chemotherapy papers, it contains alcohol big surprise that, it warns that driving after treatment i could be over the limit, real nuisance as i was planning on driving myself like last chemo. As long as i feel ok. 

Sorry about your sons father in law. 

Love Billy xxxx 

Hi Billy,

These carer agencies! I know they have huge problems with staff shortages but a male carer showering an elderly lady is ridiculous.

How much alcohol is in your chemo if it could take you over the drink driving limit?  I know a few people who would like that, lol. As you say, as long as you feel ok!

The weather is getting cooler now, I'm getting steamed up windows in the mornings because I haven't got my heating coming on at 7am.  I have been able to leave it off all day, recently while the outside temperature has been so mild, but I suspect I will succumb to switching it on as I get up, if only to dry out the condensation.  I wrap up so well that I don't feel cold, yet.  Long May it last. 
 

Take care

love

Christine xx

Dear Billy and Christine, just caught up with your news, I'm sorry I've been missing but the weather has been awful and my two visits were cancelled.  I was quite pleased as I've had a bit of a chill and didn't fancy driving miles and being on my feet for hours, Covid breakout so all delayed.  Hasn't it been dark and depressing, I am struggling to get out of bed as its so black still at 9am and then I think, all those years I dragged my weary body out of a warm bed to see to Norman, I deserve to lay in a snuggly warm bed of a morning..  I even took a hot water bottle up with me, its like going back to the 1950s style of living.  I gave up this week and put the heating on so when I get up it's not cold, that's probably why I've caught a chill trying to save Money.  So today I was going to town, have some lunch and buy some new sleep wear but the weather put me off, I said to Lisa and Faye we need Noahs ark up here.  It's only four weeks until I go to Fayes for Christmas, but as you say Christine it's not the same when someone dies near that special occasion but I'll put a brave face on for the children.  Your poor son, is that the one that had the accident, how will he cope?  Billy don't talk to me about Carers, it's times to suit them, not you as I found out when we needed them.  It was Margarets birthday yesterday so she came for coffee and brought her own home made scones, as usual just enough for two of us, not a spare one for me later with coffee, she does make me smile though and I wrote in her card that she had been there for me at my lowest ebb, she nearly cried.  Mary has finally seen a consultant about her cough, a scan on the 9th December, I hope she gets sorted as it's hard to be with her when she is at her worst, still I'll pop down and see her tomorrow afternoon for a sherry.  It's pitch dark here already and it's only just gone 4pm, the vodka and tonic is calling me, it's early but there's only me so no one will know I'm drinking early, its the weekend, so hey ho, enjoy life while you can.  It's the musical evening at the church tomorrow night, can you remember me telling you about a lady that approached me at the memorial service and said we worked at Whesso together in 1969, she gave me her number and said to call her, so I did, left a voice mail, no reply, texted to ask if she got my call, no reply, I was so bloody mad, why bother when she obviously had no interest in seeing me, no wonder I couldn't remember her, we obviously were not friends!  Another lady at ballet, shall we meet for coffee, yes we decided that would be lovely, so she has no car, I'll pick you up, arrangements made, the day before a text, she had a sore throat and cancelled on me, has she been in touch since, No.  I have enough friends and don't need more so from now on I'm arranging nothing unless they do all the work.  Take care you two, love Carol x 

Hi Carol,

This is just a quickie as I stand in my freezing kitchen waiting for the boiler and coffee machine to do their stuff.  I went out for the day yesterday and switched the boiler off and forgot to switch it on when I got home last night.  You have just given me the one reason I hadn't thought of, for not getting a dog. No lie-ins!  I have to get up to escape the loving kisses of Archie that are really demands to get up and let him out.  I sometimes think it's good to have to get up and about in the morning but when the temperature in the dark kitchen is only 12 degrees, I would love a lie-in!

Had a lovely day, yesterday with three of my best friends, the Arts and Craft Fair was lovely, some of the paintings made me feel very pedestrian, as I am still painting what I see, and one artist in particular made me determined to loosen up as his dog paintings were very lively and colourful but recognisable as the breed they were. Fortunately there were some that boosted my confidence because they really weren't as good as mine on a good day.  I felt mean thinking they were amateurish, but then again, I would never display mine for sale, and the prices!!! I ended up just buying dog presents.  We had a lovely lunch, followed by shopping, and I actually found a lovely Joules jumper I liked that was half price in a sale! We then did the market and the charity shops! I am not really a Charity shop shopper, I donate to them but rarely buy from them. However, one of the girls, who is an avid shopper found an amazing top, in one of the charity shops that I would have bought, if I'd seen it first, it was so lovely, for £5.00!   Unfortunately by the end of the day after picking up the car at my friend's, driving home in the dark, which I hate, then collecting Archie from my daughter's I felt about 90. Back aching, knees complaining and so tired, Then coming home to a cold house was unpleasant.  I just let Archie out, made a hot drink then went to bed. I think I'm getting too old for long days out. 
My son is improving but there is still some uncertainty about how to treat his broken foot.  He can walk on it, but painfully, and his orthopaedic doctor wants to try to fix it without surgery, but by some kind of injection, whereas my son thinks it would be better just to pin it, like they did with his wrist, rather than do something that may or may not work.  The funeral was on Friday so he is coming back from Ireland this weekend but his partner is going to stay for a while to help her mother with all the horrible sorting out that follows a death in the family.  She is fortunate to be able to work from anywhere, so she won't have to miss anything work wise.  
Well, for a quickie this turned out a bit long, but not as long as some of my missives.  I have to admit that I prefer to communicate by the written word rather than by telephone. I'm dreadful at phoning people back when they are kind enough to call me.My daughter is always reminding me that I should be calling so and so,who rang me last week/month or whenever.  I think the reason is having lived overseas for so long at a time when you had to book a telephone call to UK five days in advance at exorbitant cost, so letters were my only means of communicating with family and friends. But it could just be because I'm deaf as a post and struggle with telephone calls. Since I started this 'quickie' I have had my breakfast and had a FaceTime call with my daughter!

I laughed in recognition at your experience with people saying they want to meet up, then not following up on it.  I think people sometimes say something just for the sake of something to say.  I have it with dog owners you meet on walks, when the dogs get on really well they say thinks like "We should meet up for a play date" but don't offer a day or time. I just smile and nod and carry on.

Beware of the would be friend with no car!  I fell for that once and ended up taking this woman everywhere! If I said I wasn't available she became quite annoyed! That's when I changed my phone number!  
Take care

Christine xx

Dear Carol, im still here being a pain to oncologist, when i spoke to her she mentioned a blood test before chemo still waiting phoned up twice and told form in post so they sent another one im supposed to have blood test Tuesday at latest already booked just want form!!! .

Looking like I'll be driving myself there and back struggling to get any help, went in one of those transport ambulance onee with Brenda both had bad heads before getting to hospital. I've asked friends and neighbours but no good, I'm fine getting there it what chemo does to me getting home after. 

Brenda will be on her own as well apart from carer for half hour. I've tried adult social care and social services we keep falling through the cracks despite being told ring and something will be arranged. 

I've tidied living room plenty of boxes full to make room for Christmas tree and trimmings, doing early never know what im like on chemo. 

Hope to get a nice duck around the time and veg . Brenda and Bella will enjoy if i can't. Hope good films on. 

Brenda still happy being waited on. Still using scooter unless alot to load up,covered up well and keeping warm, think scooter paid for itself already on fuel savings and parking fees. 

Good luck Carol and Christine hope things go well for Christmas, oh and any others reading Carol's strings. Merry Christmas to all. 

Love Billy xxxx 

Dear Billy, it makes me so mad when you fall through the cracks especially with all you are doing.  Have you rang GP I think you can arrange for a pick up by car as people volunteer to drive you to appointments, Norman couldn't stand the ambulance so we did that, you get collected at a reasonable time and just call when you need collecting from hospital.  Please let me know if it is agreed as a lot of people don't know about it.  Poor you having chemo again, life is so hard and you always keep a sense of love and humour going in your posts.  I've stayed home and am splashing cash on the electric heating in the conservatory but it's getting dark already, is it too early to have a gin and tonic, do you think! After all it is the weekend, last night I had two and took my painkillers and slept like a log, mind I'm now in a cashmere cardigan, two blankets and a hot water bottle but at least I'm warm.  Take care Billy, love Carol x 

Hi dear Carol  a friend arranged a car everything went fine till he wanted home and the driver didn't work after a certain time even though it was arranged beforehand. So im rather untrusting of being stuck and having to arrange taxi home. Never know if oncology can run late, my very first one was running 4hours late was supposed to finish at 6oclock still 5 outside waiting to come in for treatment. 

It only takes 1 or 2 to react to treatment bad and they need looking after and times go out the window. 

Have to see what happens. 

Love Billy xxxx 

Ps I've over a week yet just hope things fall in place better.

On a lighter note Bella has found a way to get round all the carers who come, she sits very straight infront of them stares at them and smiles with her head slightly tilted and makes little moaning noise if still ignored she puts her paw on their foot and does a small woof, it works for them all, we have over 8 different carers. Some only work certain days or hours. 

Billy 

Hi Carol and Billy,

I hope we don't see a viral YouTube video of you stripping for the neighbours, Carol. I still can't see properly from laughing at your very vivid description of your sudden visibility to the neighbours!  I have put opaque film on the top part of my bedroom window because I live in a true bungalow, and there is a dormer  bungalow behind me, with an upstairs window with a direct view right down into my bedroom. I'm sure the neighbours wouldn't deliberately look but an accidental peep of me doing what you had to do would be too embarrassing for words!

I was really sorry to read that you've got pleurisy, that can be so painful. You need to keep warm with that, I would think. I am trying to be frugal with my heating etc but my nephew and his children from California came to visit and were frozen, when it was really quite mild.  I had to keep the heating on full for them, so that was one day where my frugality went for a Burton! I am wearing a lot of layers and only succumb to switching the heating on in the evening when I sit down to watch a bit of TV. I treated myself to an electric blanket, with extra heat at the foot, It's heaven to get into a warm bed.  I suspect, as the weather gets colder, I will be going to bed earlier and earlier!

Billy, I hope you have got sorted with your transportation for chemo.  It doesn't sound good if you have to drive yourself home after chemo!  Hospital transport is quite good round here, except you have to be ready two hours before you need to leave, as there are other patients to pick up en route. I have just had a laugh reading your message, too.  For some reason when you wrote about Bella getting round the carers, I thought it said Brenda!!  (Rubbish eyesight) I was wondering what she was doing staring at them and making moaning noises. It was only when I got to the bit where she puts her paw on their foot and gives a woof that I realised it was Bella you were talking about. My eyes are still streaming from laughing, so both you and Carol have done me good today, I don't think I've laughed this much for a long time.  My eyes are still streaming!  
 

love to both of you

Christine xx