Dear carol had to reply to your text about decorating . Not long after we were married Brenda decided she wanted hall and landing different colour,8 doors,3 windows, .i cleaned all paint down ready for new colour, id stripped all paint off year before ,only going from blue to green .

Remember this is after work (working 7 days 12 hour day good job i was young) . Got finished Brenda wasn't sure,so I opened my big mouth and said wallpaper has been on for years shell we change it,14 rolls of paper later, Brenda still didn't like paint,so i cleaned it all off and repainted light brown (Brenda's choice), could have just varnished wood.

As you say women change their mind alot ha ha ha .

Hope you are getting fresh air and sunshine .

Love Billy xxxx

Had to laugh at the "nuke" comment. Me and the wife were joking about that too. Would save her 15 upcoming radiotherapy journeys. She said she could just pop her boob out of the window and get it done from the comfort of our living room.

How is she doing?  Its a hard road to travel but obviously you're keeping a sense of humour, it does come in handy, being miserable gets you nowhere and no one wants to talk to miserable people.  We had a friend who when you asked how he was gave you the whole kit and caboodle, we stopped asking, I don't think he even knew Norman had cancer because we never had a chance to tell him!  Have you gut transport for the radiotherapy journeys, I went to every chemo session with Norman but he drew the line at my doing fifty miles each day for a month of radiation.  Well off to paint the garden furniture.  Take care, Carol x 

Dear Billy, what is wrong with the care of loved ones, it seems to not exist.  Flo rang me last night, Dorothy is now in a home, her broken collar bone has caused her the loss of her right arm and because no one helped her out of bed she is now in a wheelchair.  So she walked into Norman's funeral and three months later is an invalid.  It's a good job Bren married a doctor with all those children to care for.  I've been taken out to lunch, caeser salad, two large glasses of rose' wine and three hours later back home.  My two bar stools had arrived, I was going to assemble them but having drunk so much they would probably end up three legged instead of four!!  Xx

Wow! Carol,

What a beauty! You look sensational. I certainly couldn't have sported a swimsuit like you!  Glad you can get your new Summerhouse, now. I wouldn't be without mine, it's an art studio in the summer and a storage locker in the winter.

Look after yourself,

Christine xx

It's 3am and I can't sleep.  I visited Dorothy yesterday in her care home, a bare room. A TV but nothing nice to keep her brain active, since Norman's funeral she is now unable to use her right arm and cannot walk due to being completely neglected by the so called medical professionals.  I was so upset that I texted Faye and Lisa and said we need to have some legal care package in place for me because I cannot let them suffer as we did with Norman's lack of care at the end, if a patient is ill how can they know what is best for them, even with dementia Dorothy's family had no say because they trotted out the mantra, she's the patient.  I've kept myself busy last week and went out quite a lot, Chris and John treated me to lunch but I drank too much and ended up with a bad stomach which was very handy as I saw the consultant on Thursday.  I saw the doctor assisting the consultant but she didn't k ow if it was a hernia or a limpona so apparently the main man was next door so the nurse fetched him.  He came in obviously annoyed at being made to see a live patient, no hello, no bedside manner, he prodded and poked, cough he barked at me, I explained that it was painful up into my hip bone, that was rubbished by him, it sounds like back problems to me he said.  So an urgent MRI scan was booked, I won't hold my breath.  I told the girls about him, I made them laugh as I said it seems these top consultants prefer their patients unconscious on an operation table so they don't have to talk to us Plebs.  Mary and I went to   Northallerton yesterday, it rained all day and I couldn't bear being in alone all day again. We had lunch and I bought some new tumblers and wine glasses with different coloured bottoms as I seemed to just have odd glasses left in the cupboard.  It looks like I'm going to Lisa's to look after the animals now.  Elvie the cat has a broken leg that's not healing and has to be kept in a crate for 6 to 8 weeks or it may have to be amputated.  Lisa has not been well again and is stressed about it, I hate hearing her so upset so it's easier all round to go there.  Faye has her scan tomorrow (today!) and has also been unwell being sick and giddy, it's when she has wine and food, stop drinking  wine I instructed her, drink vodka or gin, it's her kidneys they are scanning so the wine maybe affecting her more.  So life is full of worries and concerns, I'm doing OK, it's getting slightly easier being alone and at least Norman is no longer in pain and distress, that's one blessing.  Sheltie lady, you need to go to spec savers, I'm wearing beige trousers and a blue waistcoat but you made me smile!  Well I'd better try and get some sleep.  Billy how are you and your lovely Bren?  Night night all, Carol x 

Morning dear carol . more bad news im afraid, Brenda's fluid is getting dangerous they say,so they have drugged her up and someone pushes her around in a wheeled recliner,i visited yesterday nurse pushed Brenda into visiting room, she saw me and smiled then her head dropped,i held her hand and she tried to talk and smile, she said about 10 words in the 3/4hr visit,. Brenda's consultant explained about what they have done and why ,it does make sense, but doesn't mean i have to like it,even when Brenda was at her worst she was chearfull despite the odd swear words and throwing things. i actually left brenda early as i was nearly crying seeing her like that she didn't realize.

My oncologist has told me to stop taking my latest cancer meds for couple of months to see if my energy level and BP improve , despite my PSA going up slowly.i didn't sleep well kept thinking of Brenda.

So sorry it wasn't good news .

On another note i would have sworn you were in a swimming costume,i probably need new glasses as well . Either way you certainly look good .;-)

Our cherry trees are full of fruit despite being only three ft tall ,plum trees are about six ft plenty of leaves but no blossom yet .

Im relaxing today two blood tests tomorrow and some down town shopping..

Glad you are getting out and about abit. 

Bella has just been out normal morning things she comes in and i put her treat box on the floor, she'll sit near it and look at me with those gue gue eyes I'll say ok and she'll get one treat slowly than look at me again,if i say yes she'll get another,if i say no she'll get in bed and keep moaning very grumpy until i give in and give her another treat, I've cut them all small so it's only a little taste plenty of different flavours.

Hope you're summer house as you want it and you are enjoying being out. 

Thinking im rambling a bit . Love to all .

Love Billy xxxx

Dear Billy, so, so sad, we are all getting older and things do not get easier, poor Bren ending up in this state no wonder you didn't sleep, like me worried to your heart about it all and how it will end.  I finally fell asleep but by then it was 4am and the dawn chorus started, I have a large tree six foot from my window they were givng it rock all.  I awoke to my mobile ringing but as I had an eye mask on I couldn't find it and knocked it off the table into the rubbish basket, it was Margaret face timing me, I looked brilliant with bedhead hair and bags under my eyes, what time is it I asked her, 9.45am, I'm awake I say and we chat away.  She's struggling with wallpaper for her brand new kitchen which I talked her into doing, will you come with me to choose, of course, let me have a cup of tea, two paracetamol and I'll be fit and ready.  So we've chosen three lots, and paint samples then went and sat in a courtyard and ate lunch, the sun was that hot we both got burnt!  A new shop had opened in Bishop giving books away, five at a time, apparently its run by a charity and encourages people to read.  We both chose our books and on the way out I made a donation, Margaret didn't, she is so tight with her money it's hilarious but I couldn't take five books and not pay anything just because you don't have to isn't a reason to be greedy.  I can't believe you thought I had a costume on, I'm sat on a gay pride throne in Darlington Market place for goodness sake!!  Keep me updated Billy.  Love Carol x x

Hi Carol,

I'm glad I'm not the only one who should have gone to Specsavers! Honestly in that little icon it does look as though it's a swimsuit.  I zoomed in today and I can see what you're wearing, and I have to say you still look facbulous!

Christine xx