My dear Billy, I'll always have time for you.  I'm coping better than I thought but it's still hard being alone.  Faye now has health issues so another worry, she has to have an MRI to look at the veins leading to her kidneys as they can't get to the bottom of her High blood pressure.  Are they seeing how Brens meds work out before she comes home or is she there for sometime.  I hope all is well with Bella, our dog Bonnie had a mass so I've been through it.  Lots of love, Carol x 

Dear carol .

Bella had her op waiting for results ,vet thought it wasn't cancer but sending off to be sure, she's back to our normal little (big) girl, after All the huffs she had with me, she lost a kelo in weight so a big lump as she did weigh 9 . Brenda is still talking not always sleeping well nurses are trying to get Brenda's feet up because of very swollen ankles, she always had recliner and legs up,or she neaded water tablets .

I've a bit more energy last couple of days and sleeping better.

Hope you are getting out when weather is good. Take care,eat well  .

Love Billy xxxx

Carol got a phone call yesterday, Brenda has been sectioned ,can still visit as usual . hope you are managing ok at home i get lost for things to do, always busy with Brenda here . Bella is completely back to normal just a slight bruise left underneath that's fading slowly . 

Our fruit trees have plenty of leaves and flowers on,if we get fruit I'll take some to the hospital they are looking after Brenda really good and let her sit next to me, rather than keeping 6 ft apart as she loves to cuddle and kiss me,we have a room to ourselves but the doors open and nurse just outside .

Hope you are still having company , been invited to grandson new house on Sunday, he's been trying to get one over four years .

i keep thinking of taking gazibo down as it only there for brenda but it something that Brenda loved to be in and look out at flowers and birds .

Thinking of you .

Love Billy xxxx

Dear Billy, I'm so sorry to hear about Brenda it must've been a shock for you, but as you say you can visit and they are being very kind. I know what you mean about having time on your hands because like you I always had Norman to care for and now it's just me. I had to get up early as Faye and the family have been here and yesterday we went to Raby castle For the full day. We had a lovely day and Ella did the Easter egg hunt that the castle had organised but it involved a lot of walking and avoiding all the deer poo, Alfie did his usual miserable teenager act so we left him sat on a bench, he soon ran after us!  The night before we had gone out for a meal to a lovely restaurant and he had sat slumped in his seat on his phone, I hate bad manners, so I said Alfie sit up straight in your seat please and put your phone away at the dinner table, he sat straight up, turned his phone off and Mum and Dad looked gob smacked, as he ignores them constantly, so at the Castle we were talking about being invaded and what would have happened, Alfie said, I'd have sent grandma in, they would have all ran away!!  She's quite scary!!  So we got home and Faye said mum your radiator is hanging off the wall, it's the big one in the front room and all the fixings had pulled out the wall. You should've seen us trying to put it back obviously we couldn't so we had to get massive books and paint tins to put underneath it and pushed the settee against it so it didn't come off completely. So this morning I've had a plumber here fixing it all so another £85 to pay out. They stayed for tea and then the shelf on the dishwasher fell off and my necklace that Lisa bought me  snapped. But do you know what Billy these things really become insignificant compared to losing Norman. I have to go to the bank today to pay money back to one of Norman's pension companies even though they owe me three months pension, why does everyone make it so hard  to sort everything out, the bereavement department is obviously still working from home and don't care, what a world we now live in. So all on my own again the long Easter bank holiday to not look forward to and it hasn't even begun yet.  So I have no idea what to do for four days but everyone else has family with them for Easter so I will be home alone. Take care everyone I'm sorry I'm not posting as much but some days it's difficult. Love Carol xx Update, Faye offered to pay for the radiator as she has a feeling her two may have contributed to it coming off the wall, I was way ahead of her!  Obviously I'm not taking her money but they will be kept off it next time. 

Hi Billy, and Hi Carol,

I was just thinking about you both, wondering how you are both doing in your new unwanted situations. It's so hard! 
I haven't read your latest postings yet, just wanted to send my love.

Christine xx

Dear carol and Christine ,

Trying to keep busy can't find anything interesting on TV, managed to get some rubber matting squares for Brenda's gazibo 4 different colours , Brenda favourite red second fav green then blue and yellow, really bright done it random,im still hoping she'll be home soon although don't think likely unless things change alot .

So sorry your on your own over the holidays, shame we live so far apart we could visit .

Hope you can find something to keep you occupied .

Take care .i know it's difficult for us both for different reasons .

Thinking of you, hope you are eating well and probably a nice DRINK now and again .

Love Billy xxxx

Dear Billy and Christine, just had a glass of rose wine in the beautiful sunshine but still alone.  Maureen asked me to go out for tea with her and Linda but I have no interest in making false conversations but so kind of her.  I took myself off to Teesside Park and got a couple of tops and trousers but after one hour I'd had enough,!  I'm really contrary at the moment, even I don't know what I want, never mind anyone else.  I've potted a few pla ts that were root bound, stuck a few chips in the oven and that's me done.  Billy I'm so sorry that you are now alone it's so hard to fill our days in especially when we have been carers for so long, it sounds lovely what you have done.  I've no idea where you are, I'm sure you told me but my brain is a sieve at the moment.  This long four day break is causing so many left alone so much loneliness, it's filling in time and I'm not used to that.  I'm popping to see Sue tomorrow and then I'm attending the musical and wine evening at the Church, so another day filled in, Monday looms but no plans.  Take care everyone, love Carol x 

Hi Carol, it's lovely to meet you. I just wanted to pop by and say I hope you are doing well and that I am thinking of you. I hope you continue to enjoy the sunshine - it's a beautiful day - and enjoy your wine xx

Dear carol I live in North Lincolnshire, not a mile from the river Trent . Glad you got out now and again.

Billy xxxx