Stay Strong

I have a busy day and come home to my lovely neighbour mowing my back lawn.  I chastise him and say  I would have got round to it, he knew I was struggling and came in whilst I was out.  These kindnesses make my day.  I think hubby is not looking well and voice my concerns.   Nope he says he's fine but a little niggle tells me otherwise.   I get up this morning and he admits he's not good..  appointment at Doctors and he has another infection.  I am being picked up by a friend to go to Wynyard Hall and gardens, the day is glorious and she has the soft top down,we arrive and I look like Bridget Jones after her ride in an open top car!  We have home made cake and coffee and meander the beautiful gardens looking at the pumpkins, sweetcorn and variety of flowers.  I suddenly spot a flower that hubby and I keep seeing  on our drives and it's driving him insane not knowing its name.  A lady hears us talking, takes a photo, Googles it and walks back to tell me, it's  called the common tansy. People are so thoughtful and kind!  Back home hubby laughs at the state of my hair, saying I look like I have been pulled through a hedge backwards,  charming!!  I tell him the plants name, lovely he says and promptly falls asleep on his sheepskin in the sunny conservatory.   Hopefully the antibiotics will kick in soon, I want my normal hubby back.

  • Dear Carol,

     I have read all your posts and the final few heavily reminds me of my wonderful mum.

    My beautiful loving mum who would do anything for anyone passed away from bowel cancer 7 yrs ago. I still feel as though it was yesterday as I've missed her every day since.

    When mum stopped eating and drinking, I expressed my concerns about this to the nurse, and she told me when a terminal patient gets to that stage, they feel no hunger and they feel no thirst. (Apparently patients lose their ability to swallow.) This maybe the reason why Norman has stopped drinking. They kept her comfortable with morphine, which was all they could do.

    Your title heading Stay Strong is turning out to mean a lot more than I think was intended. Your patience is being tested Carol, use your title heading to remind yourself for your peace of mind, that everything you are going through is not in vain, and surely someone is to be held accountable for the appalling way you have been dealt with re Norman's care.

    My heart, soul and thoughts go out to you and your family

    Vee xx

  • Thank you for your help and replies.  Last night was awful, I was up every two hours with Norman whilst he couldn't breathe or lay down.  1.30am I called the district nurse, it took nearly and hour and he had fallen asleep when they arrived.  He looks pretty peaceful to me she says, I'd never seen her before, but on your say so and what you've relayed we will sedate him.  Well thanks for the support and the inclination that I've overstated his condition.  3am they left, by 6.45 he was awake and in distress again.  Faye, Lisa, the carers, Sarah my cleaner all trooped in and out, the palliative care team arrived, Daniel who said last Wednesday, months, now says days, we are sitting with him in turns as he is scared and rambling.  He was tested positive for covid, still, we had to take tests, no night nurse because of covid.  So the nursing profession who gave him covid now refuse to sit with him in his dying hours.  Sod the lot of them, Faye, Lisa and I will look after him, even if it kills us.  They tried to catheratise him but couldn't do it due to a previous botched removal of one.  Our district nurse is lovely, she is so upset at how her nursing profession has abandoned my lovely husband when it was them who gave him all his problems in the beginning.  Faye made me lie down, it's impossible as my mind is in overdrive, so she's sat with her Dad and I'm chilling out on here.  It gets it out of my head.  Poor Lisa, she is in a quandry, Tug's  mum's funeral Friday and not knowing when her beloved daddy will die.  Life is cruel and so is cancer.  Xx

  • Hi Carol

    Hang in there. 

    You are in an awful situation right now but you will find it comforting in future that you did everything you could. 
    You wll need all your strength so do as your girls tell you and have a kip whenever you can.

    River xx

     

  • Dear Carol and family

    Norman's care sounds so familiar. My heart goes out to you all.

    Sending you my best wishes and hope you are all able to support each other as much as you can. 
     

    Nicola x

  • I don't think I can take much more. My darling husband is shouting out to God to please take him now. How can they leave us in such a mess. I will be traumatised for the rest of my life. 

  • Hi Carol,

    Nothing I can do to help, I'm so sorry but wanted you to know I'm thinking of you. I read all of your posts from the start when I was diagnosed with cancer last year. You've had quite a journey these last few years, all documented in your own words which have been a source of comfort for many. I don't mean to sound callous but I hope you can write the final page very soon and have some peace in your life, for your husband too. You're the epitome of 'stay strong.'

    Much love 

    Jane x

     

  • My darling husband is finally free from his torture.  

  • My love and thoughts go out to you and your family

    God bless

    Vee xx

  • I know I haven't posted on your thread before, but I've been reading it and just wanted to also send my love to you and your family.  I'm sorry for all the pain and suffering xx love n virtual hugs Mickey xx ️

  • No words Carol.  Thinking of you 

    River xx