Dear Chris 24, welcome and thanks for reading me!  A sense of humour is needed to get us through and our age helps us (one good thing about being old) because we have been through so much in seventy odd years.  Norman is doing well, we escaped today but for a sad reason.  Norman rang our friends John and Chris and he informed us that Val's husband died at Christmas, he had been unwell all year, ended up in hospital before Christmas, caught covid and despite being sent to another hospital for recovery he has died, I've known Val since the early 1960s as she was courting Peter and I Norman, although he was ten years older than her they were very happy together, Mary and Joe had lived next door to them when first married, so a long intertwined friendship, it's hard at the best of times but more so now.  So we went and bought a sympathy card and dropped it round, she wasn't there but the house still had lights up, the front garden had messages in tubs, Merry Christmas, welcome, santa stop here as like us grandchildren we're adored and we all make efforts for them, so it was more traumatic knowing she would come home to all the slogans about happiness but minus Peter.  We carried on from her home and went for bird food then a good ride out, we wives of poorly husbands need to make the most of our time, we sang along to the top of the pops, the sky was pink, blue and snow heavy as we had a lot of snow overnight, the tops of the Dale's were snowy white, green fields, snow covered fields and a patchwork quilt of colour, life is amazing even with cancer and house arrest, all of you look about you and admire our world.  On the way home the car clock suddenly changed from 2.30pm to 5.30pm, we both decided we had driven through a time warp and giggled like crazy.  We're home safely, a cup of tea and a mince pie as I can suck them, my hot water bottle has bitten the dust so a new one is on its way from Amazon, hubby told Faye when she rang that I was starting the new year as I meant to go on, buying stuff, it's not often he's right but this time he is!!  See you soon, love Carol x 

So this morning I sprayed hairspray under my arms despite one tin being green and blue and the other plain white, I think I am losing the will to think.  So with my arms stuck to my boobs (not as pert as they used to be!) I set off for the Sunday papers and my pan au raisin, the minute I got out the car the heavens opened, hail stones, sleet, rain, wind and anything else it could throw at me.  So back home safely eating said pan au raisin, hubby safely in the bath and reading Liz Jones diary, my Sunday morning routine when able is kept.  A friend rang last night from our old village, Gloria has had thyroid cancer and is doing well having had an operation, she has always volunteered for the Samaritans and returned New Year Eve for her first session back, she then posted on Facebook about how many suicides there are at the moment, giving out their contact number, so even though having had a bad time she thinks of others first.  Do you know what, I had not realised how many of my friends have developed cancer in the past year, we've all raised happy families, have loving grandchildren and worked hard hoping for an easy retirement,  most of us have had to change our plans and work within our limits that cancer incurs but none of us moan. About our lot.  Bob told me he had rang Val New years eve day wishing her and Peter all the best but had to leave a message, she rang back later that day thanking him but Peter had died that morning, Bob said he felt awful but she reassured him that his thoughts were kind and Peter had suffered so it was a relief to not have him suffer more.  So my day is ahead of me but we will stay home, keep warm and count our blessings, love to you all, Carol xx 

Hi darling carol

Just an update, Brenda still improving although still incontinent going through plenty of pads but got plenty spare yet.bren was worried and cried plenty, but she's started to get usto it still doesn't like it binn out side is very heavy nearly to top ready to Go Tuesday morning hope it doesn't break.

My specialist says my cancer is still receding (Yahoo) so can cut down on My new meds (yahoo again).

I decided to get Brenda and smaller foot massager old one must weigh 5stone I keep dragging it around the floor out the way when she's finished.new one only weighs a few ounces first time she used she nearly jumped to the ceiling really made her jump said she was tingling all over I told her that's the idea so now im tingling all over and lugging old one around the floor still .

Brenda eating more this week so went to nearest shop in car just almost didn't start not been used since start of first lockdown but being a good girl she managed it after all I was shopping for Brenda not me.

Carol dread to think what you'd be like with a tube of superglue take care, keep safe.

Love Billy xxxx

Dear Billy, unless you have been where you are, no one knows the time and patience required to look after a loved one with Brens illness.  I have been there as Norman's Dad had it, lived on his own and I had Faye and Lisa both of whom were little.  No help in those days, no care, no laundry, so along with Terry nappies and little girls clothes I also had to deal with an incontinent person, so my admiration of your care of your wife is a great deal.  I'm so pleased your news is a little better, you're right, super glue and I don't go together!  Norman is making me a load of ice in my machine, if it wouldn't upset him I'd have shoved it in a cupboard by now, I can buy a large bag of ice cubes for one pound.  Anyway its kept him busy.  Its very cold here and I'm trying to tidy the decorations away so I'm frozen, Sarah can help tomorrow.  Take care Billy, you're very a kind thoughtful man. Xx Carol 

My day didn't start well as Sarah rang to say she was unwell so to stay safe we cancelled her visit.  Never mind stay calm I thought as all the trees and Christmas decorations were coming down so I set to.  When hubby managed to come down at 10.30 am he said wow what a lot you have done, do you want a coffee, ooh yes please I replied.  Its ready he shouted, remember he smashed my China cup and new ones were purchased, well they don't fit the stand on the coffee machine, so over it fell, spilling coffee and milk everywhere and I mean everywhere!!  It flooded four kitchen drawers full of clean tea towels, dinner mats, serviettes, boxes of cling film, foil, microwave bags and so on.  In the fridge it went, under the chopping board under the stupid ice maker, on the floor, it took me nearly an hour to clean up and all the towels had to go in the washer, do you know what he said, I don't think you stood the cup properly on the stand, if looks could kill, it won't be the cancer that finishes him off!  Anyway, three hours later we are dusted, glitter has gone, the tree is wrapped up and all is in place now to be put back in the loft, this means me balancing precariously on the top of the ladder whilst my husband balances on his false leg and tries to hand me everything whilst holding the ladders, our girls would have a fit if they saw us.  So Faye starts her job tomorrow if the school opens, I daren't ring as she will be so fed up if it doesn't happen.  I'm off to get his prescription that he said I should have picked up on Friday but forgot, I didn't forget it was New year's day, I'm totally lost he says, what day is it today, I give up.  See you tomorrow, love Carol x 

Another lockdown so both daughters on the phone this morning for an hour each telling me how hard it is, Fayes job is not happening this week, Ella is at home doing on line learning again, Alfie had to be dragged out of bed at 8am, phone confiscated and logged on by 8.30.  Faye was waiting for instructions on what her job would entail then Lisa rang, in tears as she is working 10 hour  days and Harry is home alone again, I came off the phone mentally exhausted and near to tears, it's awful not being available for hugs, comfort and help needed.  I'd written two thank you letters to them all saying good luck with school, they'll have to ignore that part.  Margaret's daughter has got my watch working but it's sat on the side board as today is not the day to be told that I've not done 9, 000 steps or it may end up in the bin.  It's snowing just to make life even better so sorry for the downbeat message but even I sometimes need to moan!!  Carol x 

Darling carol and cancer friends.

I've specialist appointment 11th can't figure out why face to face.

Brenda's Brest hospital appointment 21st got to arrange transport yet.

Hope things are ticking over despite the snow.

Love Billy xxxx

Dear Carol and Friends,

Unlike you we were never big on New Years Eve, Neil had either worked that day or was woking New Yearsw Day so if we partied with friends he would wait just long enough for midnight and we'd be gone 10 mins after,  Used to annoy me as he would happily take a day of to go fishing but never for anything like that.  Your New Years Day's of past sound like a lot of fun though.  
Bet that hairspray under your arms felt rather odd.  We had weather similar the day of the boys party at the park although it actually was sunny and quite warm (so sunny that Bree managed to get quite badly burnt on a patch she missed putting sunblock on).  The kids had a wonderful time.  It has changed a lot since I lived there, it used to be a swampy area but that have made it into a beauitful park area now with lots of things for the kids, bbq's, tables and seats.  Went back to Bree's after and she did my nails a lovely teal with a silver accent on a finger.  I must admit though I didn't enjoy the drive home as the heavens opened, there were times that i almot pulled over the rain was so heavy, so it was a slow drive home, but I made it safely.  So sorry to hear your restrictions will be tougher, sounds very much the same as we had earlier.  It's hard not being able to see loved ones or friends who are struggling.  Home schooling is tough, I know Bree struggled through it with her children.  
Your are allowed to have a moan Carol, it's understandable, Norman's cancer, then you have restrictions, then top it off with snow and cold, not sure I would have coped at all if this had happened 2 or 3 years ago.  

Billy, so good to hear your cancer is still receeding.  You are lucky the car started with so little use, my battery died during our lockdowns and I had to buy another.  

I have Eli tomorrow so best head to bed.

Take care and love to all.  Sue xx
 

Dear Sue and Billy, it's bitterly cold here but sunny so I put my walking boots on and walked to town, half way there it started snowing so when I went in the chemist I instantly steamed up, talk about being blind and trying to read things it's a wonder we haven't all killed ourselves with the wrong medication.  New eyeshadow so I can flash my eyes over my mask and look alluring.  Hubby was coming for me so I rang him, two minutes later he rings back, his car is frozen and he can't get in, apparently I'd said it was a lovely day so he hadn't bothered defrosting the car, so I stand frozen for ten minutes whilst he got his act together.  I sent Lisa some flowers, Faye has got calming bedtime bath lotion, she doesn't appreciate flowers as they are a hassle!  She's the only person I know that doesn't like flowers, the reason, you have to unpack them, find a vase, rearrange them, wait for them to die, then it's everything again but back to front, so after the last lot we sent she's received no more!!  I know Christmas has just gone but they need to be appreciated as it's so tough.  Sue you are so brave to drive all that way and in torrential rain, but it was worth it to see family.  Ours are getting aggrieved that they can't see us but they understand why.  I've done 6,000 steps up until now but there is no way during lockdown I'm going to manage 10,000 unless I hike round the garden all day.  Take care all of you, love Carol x