I hope you are all well, it's Saturday although it seems just like any other day!  Hubby is not well but is also fed up, he's getting rebellious which is quite funny really because he's not doing anything different to what he normally does!!  He's stopped saying he would be better dead, thank God, but we've been abandoned by family this week because they're all fed up as well.  Had a walk and Maureen was cleaning her path so we had a natter, she's fed up as Stephanie is pregnant and very down so William drove the two miles so she could see her Mum from 6feet away.  I truly think mental health issues will get worse, we can't constantly not see loved ones, it's not natural. The amount of people not being diagnosed or treated will come back to bite us on the bum, it's a disgrace that some patients are considered more worthy than others.  There are many wards free, doctors not doing what they should regarding operations, the capacity is there but we have all been scared to the point of not wanting to attend hospital.  Perhaps if they explained that wards are segregated, staff are rotated to prevent them being infected we might get somewhere but when my best friend says she wouldn't go into hospital if she was ill, we have lost the plot.  We need a light at the end of the tunnel at the moment there is none.  Love Carol x 

Not a bad day fur us but our families are struggling with this lockdown.  Faye has found out Alfie has not done his work as stated and is now hours behind.  Ella is struggling with home tuition and needs more help but Mummy isn't a teacher so she keeps asking for breaks and something interesting to do.  I facebtime Lisa as Faye says she is struggling with Harry and work.  Harry doesn't want to talk and tell me what is happening so mummy decides to leave the room and let us have a private chat.  We do this and he tells me what is wrong and I offer to help him with his written work, he's happy with this.  I then talk to Lisa who breaks down in tears, she's trying to do it all, work, house, washing, teaching, Anthony is working hard and they are both weary.  I tell her to cry and not to put herself under so much pressure it will all come right in the end, we then watch Harry play cricket with Daddy.  Health is important but as I have said previously its not just our physical health but our mental health and my daughters have far more than a lot of others and yet they are mentally suffering.  I hope you are all coping.  It's our scan tomorrow, well know soon if it's working.  Xx

Last night hubby declared that he really loves me and there is no one better to be locked down with, a good end to a bad day.  Faye face timed, everyone is a little happier, Ella had done her rain forest project, it's brilliant and shows the undergrowth then the ground, the trees, orangutans and snakes, how clever we say, we now have to produce it in 3 D Faye announces!  Alfie has done some work but keeps saying, he needs a poo, he's hungry, he needs to stretch his legs, anything but work!  Today we take the prosthetic leg to James Cook, first time out with hubby driving, a phone call on my mobile and it's someone checking up on us!  So when we get home there's a food parcel on the doorstep, it's so heavy I have to carry everything in until I can lift it.  As I said to hubby when I had emptied the essentials that my essentials were missing, what's that he ask? Gin!!  I ring Lisa as she keeps sobbing intermittently, how's the sobbing today I enquired, much better thanks Mum she says.  Harry has received a silver star for his art work from school by text, how lovely and encouraging, we have a little natter, he says he'll hug Mummy and Daddy for me as we can't, bless him.  Haven't heard from any of you for ages, hope all is going OK.  Love Carol x 

Hi Carol 

Just so you know I'm here just struggling with sleep, bren keeps going hot and cold, so I'm putting cover on taking cover off, or commode.

I might get 1 hour in bits and pieces per night last few weeks. Bit better last night moved my bed to living room. 

Glad Norman finally appreciates all you do for him. Hope it lasts. 

Love to you Carol and all the others where ever they may be.. Xxx 

Hi Billy, you are so good to Bren, it must be getting so hard.  Norman has been in his own room since his cough as I get no sleep, even two rooms away he wakes me up and lack of sleep is debilitating.  I take it you are getting no help at all with the way things are.  It's so hard, your health or Brens.  That's what I said to the GP we help one partner and leave the other to cope, not fair.  I see from tomorrow they will be taking normal cancer patients again, about time.  Take care Billy.  Love Carol x 

Dear all, I have decided to suspend these posts for the time being, I keep seeing all the health anxiety posts that really are making me anxious as I am finding it hard to be sympathetic to those who are looking for a cancer diagnosis, when they are well.    

I'll be back soon but I'm having a little break whilst we are in lockdown.  Love to you all.  Carol xx 

Hi Carol,

I know what you mean.  These times are adding stress you don't need.  

I  will check from time to time to see if you have written anything new. It's a bit scary when you go offline, though, in case it means bad news.  

Keeping my fingers crossed that Norman stays relatively well and you manage to stay sane!

For the rest of your followers and contributors, I wish you all well. Stay safe, stay home, stay well!

Christine xxx

Carol I know what you mean, it is getting ridiculous.  Thinking they've got cancer with every ache or pain.  They are rather selfish they don't consider that people who use this forum are either going through cancer or have had it or caring or have cared for a loved one with it. I look forward to your posts and hope that you will drop in from time to time. 

I hope that Norman's immunotherapy is successful and he stays relatively well and in turn it helos you. Strong lady and so grounded.

Stay safe

Love, Lynnexxx.

All the best to you as well Christine and any more ladies or gents on here.

Lynne xxx