Hi Anthea, so nice of you to take time when you have so much to deal with.  We're three years in and yes my patience is wearing thin but I'm no saint.  New York sounds wonderful and is a little something to look forward to.  Norman would laugh as well if his was 13th and a Friday!  So take care of yourself and let us know how you are.  Love Carol x 

Dear Carol,  
Thank you, just doing what I've had to mostly.  We all miss Neil each day, but there is still so much to live for.  The backyard is starting to look like a backyard should, the grass has grown so much in the last week.  The landscaper is coming back though as a small area has sunk a little (only about 3", so not too bad).  I laughed when I read you had ordered 8 bags of pasta.  

A belated Happy Birthday to Norman.  The print on so many things is that small, I don't know how anybody reads it.  I have a magnifying glass that I get out on a regular basis to read small print.  
Sounds like a lovely day, lunch at the Otter and Fish then catching up with Sue and Luke.  Somehow we can always manage a piece of birthday cake.  If they do too much, it does mean they will pay for it later, but as you said, lots of rest and pain medication and they will have a better day.
How did they come up with the names of some places.  "Pity Me".  Can't be all bad if you bought some pansies, hyacinths and daffodils there.  I'm surprised Lisa Lisa is still unwell, at least it's good that she can work from home.  I don't think cancer patients fully realise how their cancer effects their partners or family, and it is so easy to get snappy.  Try and stay positive though.

Biilly, What wonderful news from your scans.  

Anthea, I'm really surprised by how long it takes before the funeral.  Here they are usually within a week, unless there is family coming from overseas or interstate.  Hope you have family and friends for support especially tomorrow but in the weeks ahead also.  The trip to New York sounds wonderful.
Take care.

I've been busy.  I spent a few days last week with my brother and his wife.  The weekend just gone a girlfriend and myself went to the Ballarat Begonia Festival.  The begonias were magnificent, and the colours of some, just beautiful.  There was also a market there, and various musical performers.  We both had a really good day.  Then Tuesday I went to Rotary, Wednesday I had Eli, today was a catchup day, so busy again.  Sat I'm off to Cass's as it's Tia's (granddaughter) 18th.  So a busy weekend.

Stay as well as you can, take care.  Love to all.  Sue xx

Dear Sue, it's not been a good week.  Norman has been in a foul mood and by Tuesday he had lost the plot and  I was on the receiving end as usual, he stormed out and I had a blood pressure appointment so when I arrived the nurse asked what was going on as it was 212 over 120!!  I told her about the strain I'm under and she abandoned the appointment and said I needed a break.  When I git home I packed a bag, left a note and went to my brother's, cried my eyes out and he told me I was to stay with him and Karen, I had a restful night, Rebus and Morse the bearded collies laid on me in sympathy and Karen made me food and we drank wine.  I went home lunchtime the following day and he said he's got a cold and to keep away from him, no are you OK, where have you been, etc.   So last night we were up all night with the cough, I sat with him and he said he thought this was going to finish him off and he's sick of fighting.  The doctor has been although she asked if he could get to the surgery because he can make it to the hospital!  I was fuming and put my foot down, who on Gods green earth would ask a cancer patient to visit the surgery with this coronovirus going round.  He's back on antibiotics, I'm shattered and we're not sure about his next session of immunotherapy which is due.  I'm so sick if it all, Lisa has just  rang, she's still coughing but is out for lunch with friends so hopefully on the mend but back in London next week.  Harry is starting a private school after Easter, it's just up the hill from their house so a good move.  Have a lovely weekend Sue with the family, my brother in Australia has now got a third son, he's very proud about it.  I'll never see any of them as even when he comes to England they stay in her Mothers house whuch is in Dorset, which is hours from us.  Most funerals over here take two weeks especially at this time of the year as there are so many dying.  Speak soon, love Carol x 

It's been a difficult week, very little sleep for either of us and very little food has been eaten, I can see Norman fading away and even getting up is such a hardship for him but he struggles on and keeps talking about his next treatment on Thursday. I don't think this will happen and told him that the state he's in I think it would finish him off, Oh thanks for that he says, You're welcome I tell him, he k ows I'm straight to the point and we decided to call our McMillan nurse tomorrow and ask what to do.  I've just taken him tea and antibiotics and he tells me he's had a horrible dream, I stood patiently listening to his dream, basically he'd driven me to town, dropping me off, went back for his car, it had gone, he then lost me in the crowds, tried to fight his way in the shop whilst everyone else was leaving, he then woke up tangled in the duvet and couldn't move, now if that dream doesn't tell you everything that's happened this week then I'm a cheese sandwich!  My double dose of antidepressants seems to be calming me down, I remember doing this during chemotherapy when you're left 100% on your own coping with everything you can only stay strong for so long.  So I'm off out for lunch with Mary and Joe, they have had their golden wedding anniversary cruise cancelled and are very down and fed up, I'm sure I heard last night that us 70 year old are to be confined to our homes because of corono virus, stupid government, they'll end up with more deaths because trust me lots of husband's will drive their wives to murder if this happens!!  Take care those of you who are still here, love Carol x 

Dear Carol,
It's so hard caring for someone with cancer.  You have to look after yourself too, you can't let your blood pressure get that high.  You have to go somewhere when you start to feel things are getting tense.  Even an hour away from it makes a difference.  It's amazing with pets, they just know and usually just by sitting with you, it's calming.  The company, wine and a meal would have helped also. I know it's hard to do when he's coughing all night, but try and get a good sleep, that helps with your ability to cope with everything else.  I know it's hard, I've been in exactly the same situation, but regardless of their illness, you must look after your health. I think if you've requested a home Dr visit they should come, you wouldn't request it if it wasn't necessary.  Even if he may have been able to make it, if you've been awake all night should you be driving him anywhere.  And that's not even taking coronavirus into it.  At least he has antibiotics now so hopefully will improve and his cough should ease.  It sounds like Lisa might finally be improving.  How exciting for Harry, and so close to home.  Wonderful news for your brother.  It such a shame they can't at least pop in a see you when they visit.

Enjoy your lunch with Mary and Joe.  So many things are being cancelled because of this virus.  Even here where we have very few confirmed cases, any large gatherings have been cancelled.  I'm a little miffed as Cirque de Soleil has been cancelled or rather postponed, till goodness knows when.  I bought my ticket just over 12 months ago.  Our Kana Festival next weekend has been cacelled also.  Any gathering with 500 or more people.  It's funny watching sport now as football matches at this stage will still occur but with nobody in the stands watching.  People have panicked here, and toilet paper, tissues, cat litter, flour, sugar, rice/pasta are so hard to buy in the shops at present.  Hand sanitiser forget it.  Even talk of closing schools.  When for most people it's no worse than the flu.  So I can understand Mary and Joe being fed up and disappointed with their cruise being cancelled.  The latest here is that if you fly in from anywhere now you have to self-isolate for 14 days.  Don't quite understand how this will be enforced or monitored.  

Tia's 18th was good, the adults were inside, the kids were all outside, dancing, drinking and having fun.  I'm sure there would have been lots of sore heads this morning.  Most of them were staying the night at Cass's,  So at least they didn't drink and drive.  I left about 12.30 and got home at 3.25am.  From all accounts they were fairly well behaved.  So a very late start to my day today.  Not much else happening here.

Take care, love to all.  Sue xx


 

Another bad night so this morning I call the McMillan nurses and they call back.  Sophie rang our GP and another doctor came out and said he's not up to immunotherapy and to cancel this week, more antibiotics and we see the oncologist on Monday, so hubby is disappointed about this, he has managed breakfast for the first time in seven days.  Lisa rang and said she has booked two slots for home delivery with Tesco, although a lovely idea I hate on line food shopping and couldn't work out what she had ordered, I rang her and we went through it all, cancel what you don't want and add what you do she instructs, I've done that and it's lost everything she ordered and asked me to book a slot!!  I now have a headache and could have gone to the shop in the time it's taken in phone calls and typing!!  This edict of staying at home aged 70 and over is ridiculous , what are they going to do put a cross on our front door and when our neighbours see us coming out they can drag us back inside!!  As if we don't have enough to worry about as it is. Lunch out was fine but Joe is a eat it up and go man, no relaxing drink by the fire, queuing for my dinner I managed to drip gravy all down my new top, I love eating out but prefer being served, it was extremely quiet apart from a 18 month old abandoned in his high chair smashing his knife and fork off the plastic table whilst both parents queued to get their lunch, I swear I needed another g & T to survive but unfortunately I was whisked away because Joe wanted to get home and read the newspaper!!  I told hubby and he said he was glad he was too ill to go!!  Sue, I'm so pleased you had a great time but what a long lonely drive home for you.  I didn't realise that you were all being stopped from large gatherings, I can't believe they are talking four months isolation, it'll be winter before we're allowed out again.  Take care all if you, love Carol x 

Hi Carol, so sorry Norman not well enough for next treatment. 

Sorry for not being on for a while. Bren not very good, and both been struggling with a cold for over a month. Think it's gone now. Managed to get back to normal dose of meds and hoping hate being drugged up. 

Early shopping morning today see what it's like. Always do early less about. Just normal weekly shop unless nice bit of meat or fish catch my eye. 

I'll never figure out panic buying, wonder how much they throw out later.

I'm only a year off 70 so i don't count yet. Though why 70 anyway.??

Hope everyone is managing OK what with all these impossible new rules coming out... Love to all and especially our Carol.... Xxxxxxx 

P.s think brens had another TIA (mini stroke) nothing they can do anyway just keep doing what i can. For her. 

Dear Billy, I thought you must be unwell, poor Bren it's so upsetting as it's hard for you.  Norman is a little better but his patience is thin.  This constant news feed is making him down and I'm tryiing not to be dragged with him.  I've been to zumba and enjoyed it, but only one person turned for the first class and most of them aren't old!!  The younger ones are more petrified than us oldies. I'm popping to see a friend whose had Injections in her heel and can't walk yet, she said it was very painful, I pointed out that the Japanese used to torture people by beating the bottom of their feet, she admitted she screamed in pain and nearly broke Paul's hand!  I'm hoping my friend Jean managed to have her kidney removed yesterday as its been cancelled three times, no news is good news.  Take care Billy.  Love Carol x 

So this morning I read that only those who are likely to survive their treatment will be treated, we are likely to be graded due to survival rate, hubby will be at the bottom no doubt.  I relay this happy news to him and he says he'd better smile lots on Monday, don't think that will work I say, OK I'll do a little jig in the hospital, please don't you'll only fall over, we both laughed!  I truly think us oldies have a far better coping mechanisms than the younger generation, we've been through it all before, school closures, no electric or gas for days at a time in the seventies, water shortages where we had to queue up at a water pipe in the road, swine flu, aids, bovine flu, I could name many more but you would all be bored!  Obviously this is the worst I've known and my two daughters are so stressed about it all, elderly parents hundreds of miles away, as Faye said if I get sick they will all be lost as to how they could cope because I'm the one that has dealt with it.  It's so sad that we can't even see them as that keeps me going, I feel like saying Sod it, just come we need your smiles and kisses and hugs to keep us going.  What is life without company and love, self isolation because we are older and no one can cope with us being ill, it's so, so sad.  My sister in law is home for four months from work as she had a kidney transplant 7 years ago and is vulnerable, I'm being allowed to see her Sunday for Lukes birthday and to see the new cockadoodle, Paddington, he looks like a Teddy bear.  We'll I still haven't found a window cleaner so gloves on, ladders out and I'm doing them myself, if you don't hear from me I've fallen off the ladders.  Love to you all, Carol x