Probably because I don't know how!  Give me a clue what to do. Caz

I knew y were my type of girl?  I'm reading Eleanor of Aquitaine and her marriage to Henry and Thomas Becket.   She had eleven children, the last one aged 44 years old.  Love books àbout muderers and police finding them.  Like you I read until I feel sleepy .  Hopefully the back is a little better.   Xx

The weather woke me up, lashing sleet, force gale winds and pitch black but I was a good girl and got up to go to zumba leaving hubby and his cold hiberating under the fresh made bed by me (as cleaner sacked.)  But on the way there I picked up a piece of twig which rattled so badly I had to stop and crawl around the car but couldn't see it, so on the way home I drove the speed bump way to try and dislodge it!  As I arrive a delivery van pulls up and hands me  box as big as me from Amazon,  I stagger in the house , Hubby looks aghast, what the Hell have you bought now? The only thing I've ordered is a baking  tray as a present for Lisa, 31cm square  and flat,  it was that!  We both look bemused, surely a smaller box could be used we both say, it's so big it won't go in the recycling bin.   I've decided to go down South next week, everyone is trying to put me off because they're worried but we'd never do anything if we stayed safe at home and I've not been to either of my daughter's houses since February 2017, so despite reservations from them all I've promised to drive safely.  Hope you are all OK.   Love Carol xx 

Hi Ladies,
Seems we all like reading, I am currently reading John Connelly - The White Road, and love a good thriller or murder/crime book.  I buy my favourites, but get most from the library, and have a couple of girlfriends that read constantly, and we lend our books to each other, and I have bought quite a few (still to read) at our local buy. swap and sell.  Love Val McDerrmid, Camilla Lackberg, J.D. Robb, Stephen King and a few others.  Neil used to read also, as do our 3 girls, and Bree and Deana both read to their children. 
It's not just Amazon that parcel things up in massive boxes, I ordered 4 china mugs a while ago and they arrived in a huge box with so much air-filled plastic packing, it was big enough to fit a dinner setting for 10.  Surely they could do a little better and save all the excess rubbish.

Annie, I hope your back is feeling better by now.  Dream Girls sounds fabulous, have a wonderful time.  And yes, I'm still around. Just had some time out, I was feeling very overwhelmed with everything and a couple of very teary days, but feeling more like I was.
Any way nearly bedtime, so take care.  Love to all, Sue xxx

Sue, how nice to hear from you.  I know you have been in touch with Carol so was not overly concerned but I didn't like to think of you being all on your own with overwhelming sadness.   I can join the oversized box stories; I buy some of Muffin's food online; because of his hyperactivity I have to be sure not to give him certain foods. (I also use the local pet shop to buy things sometimes as I don't want them to close down even if they are that bit more expensive.)  Usually a big box contains boxes of his moist dog food and biscuits with brown paper filling in the gaps in the box.  One time I just ordered his teeth biscuits and got the same big box with the biscuits buried in the bottom.  Still the paper gave Muffin something to play with and it can still go in the recycling.  It i spouring with rain here but I need to go out and pick up my sister from the station in a while.  Take care of yourself Sue.

I made a massive ham stew yesterday enough for two nights, except he said it made him cough (at least it was real not like the daffodils ) and I must have put stuff in it that he wasn't used to!  So I said I'd eat it instead and he could have steak, I don't want steak because after the Otter and Fish steak whatever I cooked wouldn't be as nice!   I have a feeling  the frying pan could be heading his way anytime soon.  So we now have gone off, sausages, steak, lamb chops and chicken,  it's soon going to be cheese and crackers for our meals, that would suit me as I don't eat much meat.The coughing this morning was due to swallowing mouth wash (Of course it was) and I look forward to tomorrow's reason.   I rang Faye to say I was travelling down next week, I got a lecture on how it had been nearly two years since I drove that far, it would be dark going to Lisa's,  the M 25 will be awful and all the headlights will confuse me!  I seem to have hit 70 and become unable to look after myself.  I know she's worried but it knocks your confidence and yesterday I had no qualms about any of it.  This led to a sleepless night meaning I was up at four having a headache tablet and some milk because I felt chewed up over it all.  So I will speak to Lisa and see if they can come to Fayes, have lunch and collect the presents, life was so much easier  before cancer stuck it's ugly black head in!  We're going to James Cook tomorrow,  my favourite place as his ankle is not right.  I'm then being picked up by my friend Maggie for some retail therapy and coffee and cake.  A peaceful afternoon as it's cold and wet again.  See you tomorrow 

Hi Ladies, I had just written a lengthy reply and Mr Higgins hit something on the keyboard and deleted it.  You were asking how the cats had been Carol, I think that answers that.  Seriously, they are mostly pretty good, although Mr Higgins has his moments, he can be a devil at times.  But lovely company just the same.  
Now to see if I can remember what I said previously.  
Your ham stew sounds wonderful, and there is no pleasing these men sometimes, can't imagine what would be in it that would male Norman cough.  Loved that your silk hydrangeas were making Norman cough.  Reminds me of Neil years ago telling me my perfume was making him cough.  I stopped wearing perfume for a few days and it was still making him cough apparently.  Needless to say after that comment I went back to wearing it every day.  
Funny how these children of ours seem to have opinions on what they think we are capable of doing.  I'm sure we are both more than capable of deciding what we can or can't still do.  Although I must admit I'm thinking if I'm invited to Hayley's (granddaughter) birthday dinner I probably won't go.  Not looking forward to a more than 3 hour trip each way for a maybe 2 1/2 hour long dinner.  And it's not the night drive home, as I actually like driving at night (provided it's not raining), it's the length of the drive.
I'm getting my nails done tomorrow, so they look nice when I go out on Saturday.  I'm finding getting out in the garden is brutal on my nails.
Annie, I know what you mean about our pets eating certain food.  Our 4 previous cats were all on prescription food due to medical issues.  My current 2 aren't quite as bad but both eat royal canin dry bickie as Mr Higgins doesn't do well on wet food.  Cookie can eat anything but it so much easier when they both have the same.  How was Dream Girls, did you enjoy your evening out?
Hope the weather here is a bit better tomorrow, today has been cold with heavy rain, the forecast isn't promising but I'm hopeful.
Take care, Love to all.  Sue xx

  Hi girls. Hope everyone is keeping warm. Winter is all of a sudden here. Bitter cold yesterday and today with rain too in Shropshire. My daughters took me out shopping yesterday and lunch. I enjoyed it but so tired I fell asleep in the chair when I got home. My friend picked me up today and took me to buy a washing machine. Mines been on the blink for a while but it’s 12 years old so can’t grumble. Seems like I’m replacing all at the moment. Not long bought cooker plus fridge freezer. Washer being delivered and connected 9 in the morning. Long last got appointment for my biopsy . Weirdly for 27th Nov at 11 am which is exactly the same time and day as my check up with haematology. Rang to alter haematology appointment and was told 18 th Dec was the first I could have. I said I have had weeks waiting and worrying and no sleep already and needed to know the result of the biopsy before that date. Receptionist said she would email my Dr and let me know. The lump went into an open sore as the others did including the benign one but is now healing and feels lot less painful so I am praying it’s a benign one again.Dont understand why the rogue ones appear except I know my immune systems low yet from chemo. I lost just over two stone. Needed to lose some but not in this way. Good news is that the hair is growing back and looks curly but grey. Can’t do my highlites till 6 months. So getting stronger and getting about a bit more. Praying that this latest lump is not the cancer back. Much love to everyone xxx

Hello everyone

Had a busy few days with lots of visitors - I feel I've fed all of Widnes cake and tea!

Well it's scan time tomorrow.  We have to be at the hospital for 8 am so will have to leave here at 7 to make sure.  Dave has to have fluids before and after the scan to protect his kidneys.  Results then, on the 28th when we will see the Prof who may or may not do the op.  I'm dreading that meeting.  But we still have a few days of limbo left, best make the most of it.  Good friends are taking us out for Sunday lunch to a nice country pub in Cheshire.  Looking forward to that.  Dave has been really well and dare I say it, looks like he's put a bit of weight on.  Then, just to bring us back to earth, has had diarrhoea and some pain in his stomache tonight. I'm hoping it's just his body adjusting to the end of the antibiotics.  One the tablets he was on was a question on University Challenge this week.  Not often I can answer them but I did this week!

We all seem to have similar reading habits!  I read in bed when I can't sleep.  It usually sends me off for a few hours at least.  Currently reading Macbeth by Jo Nesbo.  It's different but I am enjoying it.

Hope everyone is doing ok.  Thinking about you all.  Gloria, hope your results are good and welcome back Sue - good to hear from you.

Wish us luck tomorrow.

Julie

x

Hi Julie. Just to wish all the best for tomorrow and good result from the scan when you hear. It’s awful waiting for scan etc results. You can’t stop thinking and worrying I know. Good sign I would think that Dave has put a bit of weight on. I too had tummy trouble with antibiotics. Think they can cause it. Enjoy your lunch out on Sunday. I think the more we get out and about if we are able really helps. I love reading too. Helps to relax me I think. Reading Penny Vincenzi s A Question of Trust. Love her books. Hoping and praying for good news for us all. Lots of hugs xx

Thanks Gloria.  It's 9.30 and I Just got back home as he has to stay till 3.30 pm.  I'll go and pick him up then.  There are times when you feel very alone in all this so your message cheered me up - thanks.

x

Julie

Thanks Gloria.  It's 9.30 and I Just got back home as he has to stay till 3.30 pm.  I'll go and pick him up then.  There are times when you feel very alone in all this so your message cheered me up - thanks.

x

Julie

Hi my girls, I was going to write today about my trip to James Cook and the outcome but having read all the messages my thoughts immediately turned to how you are all coping.  So good luck to Julie and Dave please,  please let us know what happens .  The 28th isn't from off but so far ahead when you want to know what is going to happen.  Gloria, I was worried about you as I'm Aware you are waiting results ltoo and I'm still sending little prayers your way,  sent one this morning whilst bored out of my head for two long hours!   I honestly thought they were building me a complete new version of my falling apart hubby,  but no, they gave me the old one back!   Sue I didn't get round to writing last night as Faye rang to say her husband said she should let me do what I want, a voice of reason me thinks.   Then Lisa rang to say she had fallen over at work  and ended up in hospital with  badly sprained ankle,  apparently one of her male workmates carried her to a taxi as she couldn't walk, a knight in shining armour, they do exist, I thought like unicorns they no longer existed.  So she's laid up and I'm now only going to her house, Faye is coming home Boxing day so I will call in on the way.  So a lot going on with us all it seems.  As I've said previously keeping busy keeps your mind occupied .  Food, drink and good friends what more could we ask for apart from good health?    So my friend is coming soon, love to all you brave ladies,  Sue I will write tonight.  So funny that we all love a good read,  we should start a book club!!  Thinking of you all.  Love, love, Carol 

Hi Ladies,
Gloria, it's almost summer here but we are in the middle of a really cold spell.  Thunder and lightning, rain and I've put the heating on the last 2 evenings.  I'm hoping my washing machine isn't on the way out, seems to be getting noisier.  We had it fixed nearly years ago and the repairman said then that would keep it going for a while but it wouldn't be worth fixing it again, and it must be 11 years old now.  Hoping your results are good when you get them.  The 27th isn't too far away at least, although the wait is always a worrying time.  Was your hair curly prior to your diagnosis, a girlfriends hair grew back curly after treatment where it was straight prior.  Sounds good that you are getting stronger and getting out a bit more.

Julie, That's wonderful that Dave is doing well, and possibly put on some weight.  Hope his scan results are positive and that they will schedule his surgery soon.  With luck his tummy problems are just from his antibiotics and will clear in a day or two.  I read each night when I go to bed, sometimes during the day as well.  My next door neighbour lent me a bag of books last week to read, a couple of romances but the majority are my favourite crime/murder.  I'm doing ok, and this weekend I'm going to Melbourne for a for a get-together at a club with Neils workmates and their partners.  It should be good, great company and nice food.

Carol, It's nice that there are still some knights in shining armour around,  Keeping busy helps enormously.  Is Lisa's ankle improving at all yet?  They are the things we all want food, drink, good friends and health.  I've been busy today, taking Deana's car to be fixed , then Eli this afternoon, then when Nick finished work back down to pick up her car, then a bit of shopping, nothing interesting though just groceries and food.  I ended up turning off the computer last night with the storm we had.  At least today it wasn't storming, just rain and cold.

Take care, love to all.  Sue xx
 

Hello everyone; I am pleased to hear that everyone has better news - long may it continue.  I had my trip to the theatre despite having not read the original email correctly. I thought my sister was coming on Monday evening and we were going to the theatre on Tuesday evening.  It was a good job I re-read it on Monday - it turned out she was coming here on Tuesday evening and we were going to the theatre on Wednesday afternoon.  Actually I was quite pleased as I had spent part of Monday making up the spare room bed and generally clearing up a bit - so come Tuesday - when she was coming - I had already done everything.   To be honest I was not too keen on the Dreamgirls performance - it was far too loud;  I could not hear the lyrics and I literally lost the plot several times.  Still quite a lot of people seemed to enjoy it.  When I looked up the reviews on returning home, they were split 50:50 down the middle.  Some saying brilliant singing and story the others saying too loud, a weak story and generally incomprehensible.  I sometimes wonder how many reviews are actually genuine.  When the cousins - who invited us - asked how I liked it I did the typically British thing and mumbled something about good singing but sometimes didn't quite get the plot.  Anyway, I have just got back from taking Paul to the pub to play poker - his mobility scooter has gone off for repairs and service yesterday - he is so attached to it he rang the company this morning to see how it was!  I also took Muffin to the common; he is  having one of his hyper days and barked at every person or dog he saw.   I don't really notice his hyperactivity so much these days but when someone comes to stay they need to be forewarned or Muffin will eat bits of paper and anything else that takes his fancy.  I tried - oh how I tried - to get him trained when we first got him but to little avail.  Although the change of dog food stopped him racing around the house non-stop he still has manic moments.  He was already two years old and learned the basics but sometimes just ignores them.  We cope because we don't care and have got used to putting things out of his reach.  Love to all.  Annie

Some days there are things that hit you out of the blue and you feel like you want to run away from it all.  My day started well, car wash tyre check amd up on the ramp because I thought there was still a banging from the wood I ran over  but apparently it was my imagination.   So back home hubby seems a lot better and goes out for a ride.   I decided to hoover up, dust and sit down and chill out.  I should have known better.   My phone rings and it's a solicitor working for my car insurance company.  In July 2017 in the middle of chemo a wonderful woman hit me on a mini roundabout, no one was hurt,  the cars were repaired and it was fifty fifty as no one witnessed it.   I am now being sued for personal injury as she states she has whiplash !  I really do not need this type of angst in my life, it's too much to cope with.  So I  now have all of this to add into the equation, cancer,  disabled hubby, a daughter laid up who I can't help and an opportunist chasing me for money.  Let's hope tomorrow is a better day.   Love to you all.  Xx

Right, this should be resolved surely without too much grief; if you and the other driver mutually agreed that the accident was fifty:fifty surely it doesn't matter what she is saying happened to her.  And even if it did why the delay of 18 months.  Sounds like a try-on.  Just keep saying "get lost" and they may drop it.    Too many of these cons abound everywhere these days.  Annie

Trouble is Annie she decided three months later that she had suffered whiplash so my Insurance company are having to fight the claim which then puts the blame on me as her own insurance won't pay out  it's my fault, so no its not simple.  Even the solicitor that rang yesterday called her a money grabber.  So they won't give in until we threaten court and they back down.  I'm just so mad as it's months since it happened and it's not nice .  Because of her I've had about twenty unsolicited calls from solicitors trying to get me to claim whiplash as her insurance handed over my details!  It's never ending and very annoying.  Xx

Calm yourself, Carol, there are more important things in your life.    It appears that you can do nothing but let your insurers battle this out - in court if need be but her insurers may decide it is a waste of time.  I know about waste of time calls from solicitors.  I once hit a car - not a big accident - which seemed to come out of nowhere.  Long story cut short - it turned out that this driver seemed to make a habit of setting up accidents then claiming on them.  I made a statement to my insurers solicitors and I was not penalised in any way.  I have no idea what the outcome was (and I did not care too much).  It was bizarre - as I walked towards his car the passenger suddenly got out of the car and ran away!    I was badly shaken though - I just could not understand how it had happened.  And I got lots of the kind of telephone calls you mention!  Tell yourself that there is very little you can do about this at the moment which I imagine is the case.  But feel free to pass on any worries to your mates here.  Annie

I've calmed down!  I worked in a Court long enough to be a witness in one.  Sometimes when you are dealing with the bigger picture it's the stupid mundane things that annoy you, because they are not important, compared to cancer  but they niggle away at time you don't want to waste on them.  I've just food shopped today,  and tomorrow presents will be wrapped to take with me.  Faye isn't  pleased that having only thought of my welfare I'm now not seeing her,  if she hadn't interfered and put every obstacle in my way I could have kept to my original plan!   I'm in that sort of mood today where I'm not really into calming the waters so I kept quiet.  It's pitch dark and cold, I haven't spoken to Lisa but she'll soldier on as she always does.  Faye was tidying Ella's bedroom to take toys to the school fayre,  Alfie cried when she tried to get rid of some cuddly toys.   I did laugh as when we moved house the girls were in their twenties and I had put loads out previously for the charity shop, or so I thought!   When we cleared the attic out a big black bin bag of toys was there, I looked bemused until hubby fesses up that each time I had a clear out, he'd snuck them back in the house because they had been so upset.   We actually brought them to this house and Ella plays with them.  So tea to cook and Strictly to watch, I'm glad I'm not going anywhere.   Xx

Dear Carol, I wouldn't worry too much, although I do understand that on top of everything else, it just adds to the stress.  Put it in the hands of your insurance company, and I doubt very much it will come to anything.  Sounds very much like she is just trying  to scam you all.  Whiplash from my understanding is one of those things they can't prove or disprove, which is why so many try using it.  But so long after your minor accident.  Not sure if you have the same in the UK, we have caller number display, I tend to ignore calls I don't recognise, also help that the home phone doesn't ring loudly (even on full volume) and unless you're on top of it, you just don't hear it.
Went to Melbourne tonight, it was really good, a few tears, but laughs as well.  I have no idea how they managed to get hold of some of the people there, some worked with Neil over 20 years ago.  They had booked for 100.  I was told it was the old crew, but never dreamt it would be that many.
Hope you've all had a good day and have something nice planned for the weekend.

Take care, and love to all.  Sue xxx
 

I've just spent five hours wrapping Christmas presents,  initially it was only those going South but I had a captive audience, the husband so I did them all.  The grand prix was on so he came in handy as paper  holder and getting sticky labels off!  Tea has gone out of the window so it's bacon sandwiches instead.   I look back at last year and I'm more content this year as we know where we are regarding the cancer, we see the Oncologist early December and should be given a new plan to work with .  An appointment has arrived for his RA, he told me it was April but the letter is for first week of January,  see I told you his ears were bunged up!  He's just said Christmas is a pain!  Honestly all that he has done is pull stickers off and use his elbow to keep the wrapping paper flat, then when everyone loves everything he'll be there telling them he did it all! Sue, it sounds like a marvellous night but also bitter sweet, but it showed how much people thought of you.  I'm taking everyone's advice and letting the Insurance company deal with the car situation,  greedy people always get their comeuppance .  Gloria how are you doing?  Annie, your stories are funny and I hope your back is a little better.   Love Carol xx