Stay Strong

I have a busy day and come home to my lovely neighbour mowing my back lawn.  I chastise him and say  I would have got round to it, he knew I was struggling and came in whilst I was out.  These kindnesses make my day.  I think hubby is not looking well and voice my concerns.   Nope he says he's fine but a little niggle tells me otherwise.   I get up this morning and he admits he's not good..  appointment at Doctors and he has another infection.  I am being picked up by a friend to go to Wynyard Hall and gardens, the day is glorious and she has the soft top down,we arrive and I look like Bridget Jones after her ride in an open top car!  We have home made cake and coffee and meander the beautiful gardens looking at the pumpkins, sweetcorn and variety of flowers.  I suddenly spot a flower that hubby and I keep seeing  on our drives and it's driving him insane not knowing its name.  A lady hears us talking, takes a photo, Googles it and walks back to tell me, it's  called the common tansy. People are so thoughtful and kind!  Back home hubby laughs at the state of my hair, saying I look like I have been pulled through a hedge backwards,  charming!!  I tell him the plants name, lovely he says and promptly falls asleep on his sheepskin in the sunny conservatory.   Hopefully the antibiotics will kick in soon, I want my normal hubby back.

  • My friend calls to say Let's meet for lunch in Barnard Castle,  I look forward to seeing you but life throws a curved ball at me again because there is six inches of snow,  we are housebound.   The only consolation is that we both sleep through the nigjt!  My throat is still bad and I am struggling to speak when I shout to my lovely neighbour thank you for clearing our drive.  So many people are kind and thoughtful but I can't rely on others all the time.  I sweep all the snow off my car,  sort the washing out, clean the cooker and just sit for coffee when hubby comes downstairs, I ,make him tea and toast and go back to my cold coffee!   He's getting upset over being left with no scan appointment and keeps extending the time he has  not seen anyone medical, it's now five momths he says, no it's three I tell him, that's still a long time he says.  It's true but that was the plan, but common sense has gone out of the window!!  We will hunker down for the day and stay warm I say.   The post has just arrived and lo and behold we have an appointment,  the 30th.  Only a few more weeks and we should have good or bad news.  See you tomorrow. 

  • Hi Caz. I find it difficult to reply as I feel so bad that you and hubby are having such a bad time when I who has terminal stomach cancer seems to be having a much better time of things. I have spoken before and tried to give my positivity to you. I have had 8 doses of chemo gone from 9 stone 6 to 11 stone 13 carried on working and going to the gym at 70 years old. All I can say is try to give yourself and hubby as much positive thoughts as possible and I do not understand why you seem to have problems with your nurses as mine are great. Have a word with the chemo department if you get no joy as they have helped me a great deal in James Cook and go to see Claire in Macmillan near the entra,nice she has sorted attendance allowances for me and my wife and got me a blue badge for the car ( which I feel so ashamed to use as I can run 100 metres in about 20 seconds so I wonder what people think when I park in disabled places. I am 11 months on from diagnosis and am determined that I will still be here in 10 years time to continue looking after my lovely wife June who is 80 just had 5 weeks of radiotherapy and is now feeling so much better she is pointing out the dirty marks I have missed when I clean the kitchen lol. Wishing you all the very best for 2018 and hope things get better for you both ️ ️
  • Just to say, I have not had "problems "  with the nurses as they are not  there!!  We atend James Cook for his prosthetic leg, not treatment for cancer.   Thanks for the thoughts and I'm happy all is going well for you. Caz. 

  • We both have a good night again and this helps us both.  I come down to make tea and my TV won't work.  I can't cope with no television! !  I change the batteries in the control, nothing, it won't work with the buttons either,  disaster!!  My lovely neighbour comes in and re-boots it and we have a picture.   What would I do without him?  Hubby has opened up his wound again and nothing is healing properly.  It's freezing cold and crisp and deep and even!  We will not be going far today.  So I'm sat watching a black and white movie and munching on a custard tart.  See you tomorrow. 

  • We are not in a good place today, or a good mood.  Before I say something about smoking related lung cancer and regret it, I'm keeping my head down and enjoying my own counsel.   See you tomorrow. 

  • Take care Caz, look after yourself. 

  • Hello caz.  I have just spent much of the afternoon and early evening reading all your posts.  Thank you for taking the time to do this.  I have not had cancer myself but have seen family and friends through it, including my mum (quite some time ago now) and the father of my son.  I have no amazing comment to make or conclusion to draw; just wanted to say thank you for your posts.

  • Thanks for the lovely thoughts.  This forum is a blessing. Xx

  • I appreciate your time and thoughtful comments.   It is harder today than it was ten months ago.  I can't even be bothered to speak to anyone, I'm sick of not being me. Cancer is a killer in more ways than one.  Xx

  • Could you do with a bit of a break, even just a night away might help?