Hi Chris, thank you for your support.   I have done my best to stay on track for as normal a life as possible throughout the last few months.  I hope you get through this and that the scan is good news.  We don't know where we are at until another scan is done, treatable but no cure is a heavy burden to carry.  I will keep checking in so please let me know how it goes.   Love Carol

Hi Caz. Hope you don't mind me joining in your posts. I noticed you mention Teesside Park so assume you are from that area. We ( my wife June and I live in Ingleby). Have followed your posts for a few days as my wife has just been told they could not get all her cancer with the op she had so is starting radiotherapy in mid October. Just to give you a quick breakdown of our situation. My wife had cancer 4 years ago had op and we were told all good took away lymph glands as well. She has a bit of swelling in the legs but not too bad. So all ok then early this year she started getting a bit of bother but didn't make a fuss then in February I was having some bother eating and eventually I realised I had lost too much weight although some of that I had put down to my going to the gym and doing hi intensity exercise although I am 70. Anyway booked doctor got straight in and 2 days later had endoscopy.  Ended up having 3 but nothing found so sent scans etc to the hospital had another endoscopy 4th one and laporoscopy to put camera to see outside of stomach. Early April got diagnosed with stage 4 cancer in the stomach lining and in the lymphs so no surgery and terminal. I said no to prognosis as my daughter had come with me as my wife is 80 and I did not want her to hear what doc said. So put on chemo and weight then was 9 stone 6 pounds.  After first dose was able to eat much better and after 3 had put 4 lbs on.  My doctor says that as I had been going to the gym for 4 years I was coping with the chemo better than most and now just had the 7th dose I am 11 stone 6 pounds. I have 1 more session on 5th October then he says rest from chemo depending on scan results for at least 3 months.  During the first 2 months my wife kept quiet about herself because of me and so eventually we got her to the docs and as I said she now needs radiotherapy.  So all in all our house this year has been a cancer theatre one way or the other but we have managed to keep our spirits high by joking as much as we can. Our son said do we get discount from chem and radiotherapy clinics lol.  One fortnight we had 8 appointments between us and the day of my wife's operation I had my 6 th chemo session. So 9am I took wife for her op. 1 pm my daughter dropped me off for chemo went upstairs in James Cook to see if wife had had operation (had not). I finished chemo went up and was allowed to see her for 5 minutes. She then went down for op I went home and because it was now 5 pm they kept wife in till the next day so daughter and I went to collect her to bring her home.  Even the docs and nurses were chatting about the fact re both in the same hospital for cancer treatment but we also had a. Laugh about the coming and goings with the pair of us.  I am hoping the radiotherapy is not too bad for her and please I would rather not be told anything if you don't mind.  I have managed to carry on working full time and getting to the gym although less active than before but I genuinely think I might not be here now if I had not been going to gym as doctor said my cancer had probably been growing for 3 to 4 years.   I am always trying to be positive about our situation and we have just raised over £3000 for cancer research by doing a sponsored row in our gym. We rowed the equivalent of the length of the Tees and back 274000 meters in total in teams on the rowing machines. I did 3000 metres myself and felt great afterwards. All then people who turned up at the gym were fantastic and cheered me as I did the last 500 metres .. it's called CrossFit Teesside no it's like a community and everyone asks about my wife and me so this is a help as well  

sorry this has dragged on but as I am sure you know it does help to talk to someone outside friends and family sometimes  

be stong Caz and I hope things get better for you all  

Eddie 

Hi Eddie,  yes we live in County Durham.   You have certainly had your share of treatment.   It helped me to write a daily blog but treatment finished Wednesday so I felt there would be little to report.  I can't believe how many posts I Actually wrote!  Take care of you and your family and good luck for the future. 

Caz

Well we have tried to stay strong but some days I just want to scream at the world we are having to live in, cancer world!!  The last three months since the end of 20 sessions of radiotherapy have not been fun.  Chest infections, sore ,throat ,  reflux, the list goes on and on top of that sores on his leg due to the prosthetic leg pushing on  thin skin.  We have no idea what the situation is with regard to the cancer as no scan has been booked and we don't see the Oncologist until the end of January.   This is like living in la la land, so I have decided to go back to my daily blog as it helps me to vent my feelings and not get angry with others.  So I hope you will welcome me back with open arms, a Merry Christmas to you all, which I'm sure will be difficult for a lot of us.Caz.xx

Hi Caz, so sorry that you have been having such a full on time with everything but it is lovely that you are posting again. I am sure I am not the only person following your posts and wishing you and your husband well. We have been having a horrible time since we last spoke, my husbands cancer has spread and he is no longer having treatment. We now play the waiting game while trying to enjoy what will be his last Christmas. Trying to stay strong in front of the little ones is without doubt the hardest thing we have ever had to do. Hope your Christmas is peaceful and full of love. Chris. Xx

It's nice to be back but for all the wrong reasons!   Hubby is suffering with his leg due to muscle and Weight loss but he is the bravest man I have ever met.  Funny story in a black humour way, family yesterday for lunch plus six year old Harry, who had lots of robot presents and a drone from Grandma and Grandad!!-  He stayed with us while Mummy and Daddy went back to the George at Piercebridge .  Took some settling after a hectic day so 10pm before he went down, I stagger up at 11pm, I'm woken by banging and clanging from the stair lift,  hop out of bed and remonstrated with hubby over the noise he was making,  you've guessed it, it wasn't working.   He had to crawl up on all fours to bed!!  We suddenly realised this morning that all the remote controls had totally put it out of synch.   Oh for the good old days of clementines and chocolates! ! We are back up and running, (well not literally running).  We do so wish this is not our last Christmas together.   Roll on January when we hope for better news.  Love to you all. Caz

Chris it's so nice to hear from you,  I have thought about you over the past three months and I am sad to hear your news.   It's so hard to be strong in front of family when your heart is torn in two.. We know that ours is terminal, just not sure how long we have.  The statistics for over seventy year old cancer victims is not good and that weighs heavily on my mind.  As for hubby he doesn't know the statistics so he lives in hope.  To do otherwise would bring him Down.  My thoughts and prayers are with you both.xx

It's chaos feeding eight people and I seem to have been tied to the cooker for hours!  The first three have gone to the space rocket display, the other three are struggling to get here due to snow.  Nothing seems straightforward anymore!! Everyone finally sits down but the little ones are so excited to see each other it turns into a screaming with delight match.  Hubby is struggling and although he loves them he needs some peace and as usual he is getting angsty with me, which makes me snap back as I am fed up with him being nice to all and sundry but me.  Finally three go back to the hotel, they are off to  Scotland tomorrow so I'll not see them for ages.  It makes me sad as I usually get to see them regularly  but cancer controls my life and I feel guilty for wishing it over when I know he's not going to get better.  It's black moods which take over and I'm sure everyone feels the same in their darkest moments.  We are off to see SNOW WHITE panto tomorrow and the children get to see the new puppy, they are very excited! !

We all set 8 to see Luna the new labradoodLe puppy.  Hubby comes with us after his morning means about his leg,  his toe,  his groin, thinks he's getting a cough again, the list is endless and staying upbeat very, very hard.  I do my best to ignore every moan as I don't respond he shuts up!!  The puppy takes to Alfie,  leaping all over him, biting his ears and hanging off his jumper, Ella is a little more reserved, so we sit her in the big spinning chair and put puppy on her knee.  It's  lovely to hear them giggling and we all laugh at the antics, my life does not have a lot of laughter in it and I lap it up.  Quick lunch and off to Pantomime.   Ella is scared and states she wants to go home, after spending over a hundred pounds on tickets this is not going to happen.  We all thoroughly enjoy the show and our cheeks ache from laughing.  Back home for tea and a snuggle on the sofa.   They are going home tomorrow and my heart sinks at the thought of being left on our own again.  I  don't think I can bear it anymore!!