Having lost my Dad four years ago to lung cancer and then my husband being diagnosed 18 months later and recently I underwent surgery for a tumour on my vena cava, I can not praise the help enough I got through counselling which is attached to our local hospital. I am not sure how I would have got through the last four years. They see you for a long as you need to and once referred by Macmillan you can then just ring to start up again. Your reaction is so understandable and I coped ok whilst having my treatment and I think all your energy goes into that and once treatment finishes it is then that it all hits you. Talking really helps especially if you are trying to put on a brave face at home because of family. Good luck and hope you Can get help to cope better

Here is my personal experience of the emotional side of cancer.

When I was diagnosed I was relieved and happy that we now knew what was wrong with me. Two weeks later on op day I went into survival mode, I don't want to die do whatever you need to do to save me, after surgeries I went into recovery mode where the pain and discomfort are all you can think about. This was worse during chemo and radio. then you go from going to beat this to can't take anymore every day. With time the body recovers the physical scars heal, the pain lessens, and everyone thinks you are fine. You look fine,sound fine no problem. This cannot be further from the truth,  you came through this and feel emotionally a wreck,  up down and sideways. From six months of inpatient outpatient fives days a week you feel lost. Tearful, guilty, happy and sad, how, why,what's the future, will the pain ever go away,why do I feel fatigued after work, flash backs and reliving the nightmare. How can I possibly moan under the circumstances, the alternative was death. Harsh but true. All off these emotions I feel on a daily basis and always worse towards a scan / consultant day. 

I am trying to do this without meds, I did try counselling for a few sessions but we did not click, my macmillan nurse is great and I know is there for me but I am reluctant at times as they have so many properly ill people to look after. My gp suggested if I needed counselling I go private or phone the samaratans!

I do find this forum a good way of knowing I am not alone, and if I can use my experience to help others it seems more rewarding which is great. 

Scan nextweek! 

Dave 

Here is my personal experience of the emotional side of cancer.

When I was diagnosed I was relieved and happy that we now knew what was wrong with me. Two weeks later on op day I went into survival mode, I don't want to die do whatever you need to do to save me, after surgeries I went into recovery mode where the pain and discomfort are all you can think about. This was worse during chemo and radio. then you go from going to beat this to can't take anymore every day. With time the body recovers the physical scars heal, the pain lessens, and everyone thinks you are fine. You look fine,sound fine no problem. This cannot be further from the truth,  you came through this and feel emotionally a wreck,  up down and sideways. From six months of inpatient outpatient fives days a week you feel lost. Tearful, guilty, happy and sad, how, why,what's the future, will the pain ever go away,why do I feel fatigued after work, flash backs and reliving the nightmare. How can I possibly moan under the circumstances, the alternative was death. Harsh but true. All off these emotions I feel on a daily basis and always worse towards a scan / consultant day. 

I am trying to do this without meds, I did try counselling for a few sessions but we did not click, my macmillan nurse is great and I know is there for me but I am reluctant at times as they have so many properly ill people to look after. My gp suggested if I needed counselling I go private or phone the samaratans!

I do find this forum a good way of knowing I am not alone, and if I can use my experience to help others it seems more rewarding which is great. 

Scan nextweek! 

Dave 

Hello all, It is difficult, when things look better for you people can seem to think everything's o k now but you still have cancer. I have stage 4  breast cancer and had over 6 months of tests and scans before finding that the cancer had come back after 15 years. It was a great shock as I hadn't expected that at all. I have now 3 months before I have to see the oncologist again but I dread every scan as when I lay on my head I go dizzy and last time was sick having my MRI and CT scans!  I had so many visitors after I came out of hospital but now everyone has taken a step back. The very good friend who I know would have been my greatest support was killed in a car accident in the midst of all this and I really miss her. I think I might look into counselling as I think close family find it difficult to talk about it .