Hi ducks

Sorry for the reason you are here - my you have had a time of it. 

All the best for Monday.

Hi there and welcome to the forum, but sorry for why you find yourself here. You certainly have had a rough go of it for quite awhile now, so not much wonder you're feeling wiped. You're in good company here as all of us are either being treated ourselves for cancer, or looking after a loved one with it. I have cancer - lung and bladder, and previously colon cancer, but I'm still kicking. Given a choice, none of us would be here if we weren't dealing with cancer, but we're really glad this forum is here because it does help to talk with others in the same or similar boat. I was particularly drawn to your post when I read that you have lost a daughter to suicide. I too have lost an adult child to suicide. My son died by suicide in 2003 and the pain of that loss is still really raw. Losing a child to suicide is one of the worst losses a parent can have, but when you factor in a suicide, its' magnified many times over. I still tear up just talking about him and I don't think that will ever stop. Believe me, I can relate to your pain from that loss.

Please come back on here to communicate with others who are also dealing with cancer. You will find it really helpful to just write down your fears and frustrations and get them out there. Let us know how you  are doing.

Take care.

Lorraine

Dear Lorraine, thanks for writing. I am really sorry about the loss of your son. you're right, losing a child to suicide is one of the worst losses of all. (I blog on bereavement - I lost my son 33 years ago as well! - www.avalleyjournal.co.uk) 

Well Monday came and it's here. The tumour in my kidney is presumably cancer, and not a benign growth, and I was told because of its position, they can't just cut it out, nor can they biopsy it (risk of spreading) so they will most likely want to remove the kidney. I have studied and studied the CAT result that the GP had printed out for me, and from that, and what they said, at least it doesn't appear to have spread to other organs. 

Still I'm in shock. Don't quite know what to do with myself. Will hear more at the end of this week when they have their MDT, and then meet the urologist who specialises in kidneys. 

My bladder scan was clear today, that's good! 

Think I might try to go back to GP for some sleeping pills. I don't want to lie there tossing and turning. There is such an unreal quality to this at the moment. 

Hi Lorraine.  I have just found this forum and having read your "story" can relate to the kidney cancer element of it.  I have been through a very similar experience earlier this year when a growth was found on my kidney.  They could not do a biopsy for the reasons you mentioned and when I met the Urologist, armed with a number of questions, he told me "it has to come out".  After discussion and viewing the growth on screen he arranged for my admission to have the kidney removed.  I had to agree to the removal of the kidney knowing that there was a possibility it was benign, however the pathology showed that it was indeed cancerous. Fortunately it had not spread to any other body parts so I did not require radiotherapy or  chemotherapy.  Like you, I felt traumatised by the entire experience but now feel very lucky that it was found and it was possible for it to be surgically removed and I can live with one kidney.  It took me some time to recover from the surgery but I am six months further down the line and due to see Urologist this week for a follow up. I have had another CT scan and keeping fingers crossed for a positive outcome.

You have had so much more than I had to cope with and I wish you well with your Consultation and treatment.       If you have any questions to you would like to ask me please don't hesitate to contact me and I wish  had known about this site when I was going through this situation. 

Thanks Tina. I am glad that so far you've had a positive outcome. I hold onto these stories 

What's the nephrectomy (kidney removal) like? Painful? 

You mentioned being six months down the line.. Is the recovery that rough? I guess we are all different. I'm still in the post-knee-replacement recovery period and I don't know how my body will react to another operation so soon. But I'm hopeful ...  I've got some teaching / seminar leading projects in May next year and I was figuring I should be over it by then. I pray so! 

(PS. I'm not Lorraine. I'm Ducks for now. ) 

Hi Ducks, Like many others on this forum, I have only just found it too, and could have done with it earlier!  :-)  It's so good to be able to share experiences and support one another.  They found my kidney tumour in Dec 2013, but it was small, 3.1cm, found incidentally on an ultrasound scan as I had had several bouts of cystitis (not related they said). I 'got away' with a partial nephrectomy through open abdominal surgery.  I took quite a while to recover from it, but so far my post-op scans have come back clear, due for another one next month.  Hopefully, as the kidney is surrounded by its own 'sack' of fat, your tumour (or mass as they like to call it) is less likely to have spread. I didn't need any further treatment.  You may even get away with a partial nephrectomy like me?  I am keeping my fingers crossed for you and hope the operation and your recovery go well.  Like you, I eat well, don't smoke, but do consume 1 bottle of red wine a week, exercise (yoga, pilates and daily walks) and am a healthy weight. So it was a real shock to be diagnosed with yet another primary cancer in May this year, acral lentiginous melanoma (on the ball of my left foot) this time.  One biopsy and 3 operations later  - 2 with skin grafts -  the last one was on 22 Sept - the histology report finally came back clear, no residual melanoma in the margins!  So I am learning to walk again after 5 months on the sofa.  I think all of us here seem to be on perilous journeys and don't seem to have much choice other than ride the storm...  So good luck Ducks, I am rooting for you, hope you can have your op over and done with soon.  I was out of hospital on day six, my husband looked after me and district nurses came to dress the wound.  I had my first tiny 15 min walk round the block holding on to hubby 16 days after op, legs a bit wobbly and slightly light-headed... I am just very thankful for the wonderful medical services we have here in the UK.  All the best, Maja

Hi Ducks.  I had a radical nephrectomy by keyhole surgery and initially found it difficult to get out of bed without assistance but after a few days it eased.  I reacted badly to the pain relief which made me very sick so I was in hospital longer than usual. I was in for about 6 days whereas I believe they usually discharge you about day 3 if all else is well.  When home I quickly stopped taking pain relief due to side effects and managed well without it. As you would expect initially I was very tired and had to take life easy.  A major problem for me was that my body could not keep up with my mind and I was eager to do what I was clearly unable to do. Bending to pick up anything was problematic so a pick up stick would have been an asset. Everybody around me were amazed at how quickly I recovered after major surgery but I didn't feel that way.

I was at hospital yesterday for first check up and CT scan was normal and no evidence of any further spread. I have not to go back for a year and I will have an ultrasound prior to my appointment. I felt that it would have been useful to have a booklet giving details of pre and post operative procedures/care but there wasn't one available in my hospital so I would suggest you ask at your hospital.  I got many of my questions answered yesterday which was really helpful.  I was also advised that it can take over a year to recover from this surgery. Since the surgery I have High Blood Pressure  and had a TIA so I was concerned that this had been as a result of the kidney removal but was informed that it was not a routine procedure to check BP after a nephrectomy and it didn't necessarily follow that had been the cause of the TIA.  I feel very lucky to have had this tumour found early and treated.

I do hope all goes well with your surgery and unlike you I had not had prior surgery so it may take a greater toll on you but I sincerely hope the outcome for you is as positive as mine had been and I'm  sure you'll be able to undertake the work you have planned in the Spring time. Best wishes Tina and by the way I am 67 years of age.

Thanks to those who replied to me. You are all further down this road than I am and it is encouraging to hear how you are getting on, though not always straightforward. 

I saw the consultant today and he showed me the tumour on the CT scan. It is sitting on top of the kidney, kind of going into the vein thing (not sure of the terms!) so because of the position, although it's small they can't remove the tumour alone and the kidney is coming out. He was quite reassuring, although non-committal about what comes next as they won't know that until they've sent it all to the lab.

So I am scheduled for next week, Nov 18th. I'm still on some painkillers from my knee op but not much so I think I am ready for this. Will be glad to get it out and away. They are planning laparascopic nephrectomy but depending on scar tissue from earlier ops (hysterectomy and gall bladder removal) it may possibly be converted to open. But I hope and pray not.

Today I was back in the pre-op assessment clinic. I was there a couple of months back for my knee! One test didn't even need to be repeated. I feel too accustomed to the bright lights of a clinic/ward/operating theatre. How lovely it would be if this was the last time. I mean, to be well and not need more poking, needles, and incisions. 

Very very glad for the NHS! Wouldn't be here without them.    

Good luck everybody who finds themselves here. 

Hi ducks.   Glad to hear you have a treatment plan in place now and if you are like me coping with the uncertainty was the worst part of the entire process.  I also had to wait on the outcome of the pathology but in my heart I felt it was cancerous.  I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for the 18th, hoping that all goes as planned and you don't need the full blown surgery or any follow up treatment. You have had so much more than me to cope with but I feel we are given the strength to cope and staying positive is so important.

Like you say, I owe so much to our NHS and I am fortunate to have had nothing but positive experiences.  Please keep us informed of your progress when you feel well enough to do so.

Tina