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Diagnosed last year with non hogkins lymphoma

riko
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Hi

Last year i was diagnosed with a non hogkins lymphoma (Nlphl). I received rituximabe each week for 4 weeks which killed the cancer cells and now I'm on maintenance treatment every 2 months for 2 year. The problem now is the Anxiety and depression are crippling my life with the following problem. The not knowing where its going to grow next and when.  Its driving me crazy :( 

I have explained how I'm feeling to my GP but all they seem to want to give me is antidepressants.

Is anyone else struggling or has struggled with this in the past? if so what did you find help full.

Desperately needing advice please

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    Hi, Riko,  I don't have the same cancer as you but I certainly have the same feelings, as I am sure many on here do. Mine is incurable and as I wont have chemo or radiotherapy I am on hormone treatment.  I have been responding well but I sometimes get terrible pain or fatigue and it brings me down yet again.  You have to have this awful disease to understand what it does to your thoughts, each and every day.  Sadly, I think we will have to live with this, making the most of our good days, for always. I am starting to go through periods of depression which are hard to shake off.

    I come onto this forum and chat which sometime helps me to find a balance in my thoughts and fears. I am sure someone else will be able to express themsrlves far better than me.I

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    Hi riko

    Dont know much about your cancer but do understand about the worrying.  I have to wait another couple of months for my next scan now that all my treatment has finished to see if anything is showing.

    I am a postative type of person who can bury her head in the sand but after seeing my Mum who suffers with depression worry herself for years I have this outlook on life. - I can worry myself for the next few months and make my life miserable or I can get out there and enjoy myself and when my fears surface just not let them control my life.  Either way the outcome of my scan will be the same and I will either have worried for nothing or worst case at least enjoyed myself.

    I read this in Dune by Frank Herbert ( I know its sci-fi) but it really helped me - actually to get over my fear of flying originally and since with other worries.

    I must not fear.  Fear is the mind-killer.  Fear is the little-death that brings obliteration.  I will face my fear.  I will permit it to pass over me and through me and when it has gone past I will turn my inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.  Only I will remain.

    Fear and worying is natural we cant stop it but we can try not to let it govern our lives.

    Have you got a local cancer support group that you could join - meeting and talking with others may help.

     

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    I had Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma (mantle cell) twice, the first time 15 years ago. It was very advanced & I was expected to die.  I had radiotherapy on tumours round my head but only palliative chemotherapy, . The treatment worked like magic & somehow all the tumours just disappeared. No one said I was cured.  I was left wondering what would happen next. Nothing happened!

    Fourteen years later I found a small tumour in the top of my leg.  It was the same NHL & was wiped out by radiotherapy. I do wonder whether it will come back again but I have regular check-ups & know what to look for so I don't worry about it. I know it can be cured & quite easily.

    I was very low at times when I had NHL the first time but wasn't treated for depression.  I saw a counsellor. He told me about survivors who'd had cancers several times which encouraged me & he let me talk about my concerns.I found it very useful. I was referred to the counsellor by the hospital, not a GP. I had a Macmillan nurse who was very helpful in many ways. I now think it's helpful to talk about it but it's wise to see knowledgeable people, experienced & professional. 

    I hope that's of interest to you

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