Hi Garf,

I hope you found your counselling useful yesterday?  I know what you mean about reverting back to our default setting, I have to keep telling myself to update! I so want to feel like my old self;  I am actually feeling a little better this week.

I have often wondered how men cope, us girls tend to talk to each other about our feelings and are more tactile which helps.  We are able to cry whenever, wherever we want to and of course it should be the same for men, but I think you probably feel a bit more inhibited.  That's why this site is so good, it is non-judgemental and you can always have a good cry while you're on here if you need to!  As you say you can't go back on not taking time off when your Dad died, but perhaps you can begin to take some time to do things just for yourself now.  Wishing you a peaceful day.  Keep in touch.  Hope x

Hi Garf,

Thanks for the reply and for asking about my dad. He is keeping okay but tires very easily these days. My sister in Canada says he was a bit grumpy as he suffers with a bad hip and wants to have surgery on it but she told him after all the problems he went through a few months ago, she doubts they would agree to operate on him.  But otherwise he seems to be in reasonable heath for a ninety one year old.

I told someone the other day that if they had told me two/ three years ago I would join a chat site, I would have laughed at them. Just goes to show how having had cancer has changed me and for the better I might add.

Take care Garf, best wishes to you and your wife as always, Brian. 

Hi Garf

I am definitely not a star, just like to help others like they have helped me since I  joined the forum.  Maybe filling the time I have gives me purpose (that sounds a bit sad!!) but as hubby has no wish to communicate much (says I talk enough for the two of us and he has never been a talker!!), I find chatting on here worthwhile. Strangly in the past months I have found out quite a bit about myself  which I dont think I would have become aware of in different circumstances.  Life takes some strange  directions  but though my Dad has been dead over 5 years  now, I found I can almost hear him telling me how to carry on (this has only happened recently and should probably be put down to an overactive mind.

Hope your counselling appointment will see you on the road to feeling a little better and remember to take your time in coming to terms with new feelings/conversations.  All the very best Jules x

Hi Garf,

Just wondering how you are doing and if the counselling has been helping you?   Hope

Hi Garf,

Sorry not to have replied before, but have only just caught upwith your thread and I'm really sorry to read about how you're feeling.

You, like so many others, have helped to support me on this site and I hope I can afford you some of the same support back by simply saying I'm thinking about you. I hope that you find the counselling sessions beneficial. And please keep posting and offloading to your virtual buddies!

Take care, Jo xx

Thank  you all again for the support.

The first session went quite well although I think it was more of an introduction and explanation of what has happened but I did feel a little more clear headed afterwards.  Having said that I was feeling really quite bad on Friday and yesterday but a little better again today.  Hopefully throwing myself around the tennis court for a couple of hours this morning will clear my head some more.

Next councelling session is on Tuesday at 4.00pm with four to go after that.  I will see what happens after the next one.

All the best to everybody.

Garf.

Hi Garf

Hope the 'workout' and continuing with the counselling will soon bring you some peace within yourself.  Coming to terms with loss takes its toll in so many ways and effects different people in different ways.  When you feel able to talk there are always people ready to listen. Wishing you and your wife a peaceful Sunday.  Jules x

Hi Garf,

Good to get your update and glad the first session went well, hope that continues to be the case and good luck for tomorrow.

Also good to hear about you doing some exercise (hope that doesn't come across the wrong way!!) - what I mean is that I read a lot about the positive effects of exercise on the mind and also on self-esteem etc.  I used to do a huge amount of running, and of late, have not been doing any - I am trying to get back to doing some regular exercise, for the same reasons and am hoping it helps me feel a bit better in myself.

Take care, stay in touch,

Catherine x

Hi Garf

So sad to read that you are struggling with your inner demons and that your workplace has caused you to take a step backwards in how you were beginning to feel.  As a virtual friend wish there was  more I could say/do to make you feel better but know that it has to come from within you (experience with my Mum's mental issues probably means I understand a bit more than I should).   Sending you virtual good thoughts and do hope that the remaining phone sessions can help you get back on track as you were obviously  moving in the right direction before the work upset..  Please do not feel negative about not offering support to others. Some of your 'amazing quotes' posts have often lifted me and the fact that you take the time to read other postings shows me that you have a caring side even if you do not recognise it in yourself.  Its not my place to offer advice (perhaps this is where I get told to b... out) but if you recognised that the counselling was begining to help then maybe more counselling than you currently have in place may help too.  In the  meatime I hope you have time to relax with the family this coming weekend and if you do not feel able to post here why not try writing down just how you feel (I have heard its easier to write things down than to talk  about your inner feelings sometimes).  By the way ramble anytime you like - I have done my fair share!!  Jules xx