Hi Goldielocks (Julie)

I feel as though i am the worlds worst non smoker and have lived with a smoker for nearly 30 years i have begged and threatened him to stop always saying if he got cancer then it was his own fault and i would walk away. how my words came back to haunt me when he didget cancer,  was i angry with him sure i was. do i ever feel he deserved Cancer never ever no one deserves this evil disease smoker, drinker, or foodie (which i am). Life teaches us some cruel lessons and this was my time to learn a lesson my husband has given up smoking (well i believe he has) but smoker or non smoker i am here and fighting in his corner evry day, I still cannot agree with smoking (as i said i am the worlds worst non smoker) but i do believe every one has the right to live their lives the best way they can and would not appreciate anyone telling me that i cannot do something that is perfectly legal to do in this country. So carry on getting through life and fighting this evil disease i truley hope you win the battle perminantly smoker or non smoker you have never ever  deserved this either and you deserve every treatment and cure their is and all the love and support of everyone.

Thank you for this post i hope i have not offended anyone with my personal views

Lets all hope the cure for this evil disease is not to far away

love and best wishes

Luckyus

Hello Luckuus

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond to my post. I never thought about it from your point of view. I guess, I have always levitated to smokers in my life, so my husband does and never gave up when I was diagnosed, even though I did. And the evil drink still reared it's ugly head to make us feel more guilty. I think I am angry really more than anything else that It has this hold on me, makes me weak. I can have all the best excuses in the world to try to exonerate myself or get all sanctimoniuous about the fact that it's my life etc etc. But in reality, it just brings me more fear and denial that I have any responsibility over my own health . Other kind people say that others get cancer without having to succumbed themeselves to this risk, but I know deep in my soul that I am doing myelf no favours by continuing. My main purpose I thought at the time was to be "normal" again after all the traumas and stoma and scares, and it worked only because at the moment at least, the cancer has gone or is hiding. Now, I've been normal for a while and the fear of it coming back ( although not dominating my life) is very real and not smoking would very definitely help my nstate of mind. I am going to try and give up again. Oh, this post is all about me, me, me!! As I said I thank you for taking the time to talk to me about this and I really hope you and your husband get through it. All my love Julie xxxx

Hi,  Can I just tell you I don't smoke, I don't drink, I'm not overweight, I eat a healthy diet, I go to the gym 3 times a week, I walk my dog twice a day, i go riding a couple of hours a week, I go to church, I believe in God, I feed homeless people every time I go into the city, and you know what?  I was diagnosed with breast cancer in Dec, so don't beat yourself up about your lifestyle, these things happen. Now tell me, where did i go wrong???? I didn't, it just happens.  Now I'm off to smoke 20 fags, down a bottle of vodka and munch my way through a small banquet, about time I lived it up a bit................I am only kidding by the way.  I've just finished my treatment so I'm fit only for bed, with hot milk and a good book. xx

spark one for me .. pahhhh to those that shun you ... love you to kiddo

JH XX

Hi Julie.  I'm going through a rather depressive phase at the moment.  

Next time you light up, could you blow the smoke my way please. lol.

I could really fancy one but I'm not going to.

Best wishes

Lesley x

we all make our own choices I SMOKE I drink I have cancer of the rectum and liver but I will support you

Thank you all again for your support.

As I drink my glass of wine and smoke my 20th cigarette of the day before bed, I am reminded that I have had this cancer and that with every twinge, I think it has come back and of course I am to blame for my continued bad habits. I will leave this thread now, because there are so many on this site who have very real and devasting news to deal with and I feel that this subject doesn't help them. I'm glad I brought it up because I wanted to come clean and help those who feel they don't deserve to be here chatting with their bad habits hindering their expressions. You have all been absolutely, (as I expected ), amazing, and honestly, when I feel my most lost, it is you all I come to, so thank you. Love Julie xx

Hi Julie,

I know you have left this thread so please don't feel you need to reply but I just wanted to show my support as you touched on something I have been worrying about. I

also saw the lady smoking after throat cancer and have often wondered if that would be me in years to come. I have just been through my second surgery for pre-cancerous lesions.

My first surgery was in April and I was off work for 7 weeks due to an infection. I tried so hard to stop smoking then. I gave up 6 times(I'm not kidding) and my longest was 5 days but

it didn't work. How rubbish am I! Anyway, I was, and still am embarrassed that I still smoke following 2 surgeries but I have had to accept that now is not the time as my head is

not yet in the right place to succeed. I hope it will be someday but,for now, it is not so I must accept that.

I haven't given it a second thought this time and my recovery has been very quick and pain free. I'm not saying this is due to smoking but I think a lot of it is down to not

attempting to stop at the wrong time and the resultant reduction in stress added to the obvious health worries.

I also feel I am possibly not worthy of support at times for the same reason as yourself but I have never felt that others did not deserve support from me, whatever their habits or

lifestyle.

Good health and a long life to you

Jackie xx. 

Dear Jackie

Yes, I was going to leave this thread alone, but I wanted to say thank you for sharing that with me, and all of us, because it means a lot to air our worries and guilt I suppose. I started this thread because in the 2 years I've been on here and through the cancer and out the other side (for the moment), I never mentioned it and never  saw anyone else bring it up (the smoking anyway).  Your words mean a lot to me and I am with you all the way. I'm so glad you've recovered well from your recent treatment and I agree that the psychological worries impede our recovery, outlook, mood, and ultimately our chance of success and quality of life. Of course, the physiological damage smoking does continues, but I feel a Harry Hill fight come on...... !!  Love to you. Keep in touch. Love Julie xx