Hi

if you would like to talk about it message me and we can do it privetly

Erika xx

Hi Ladies (and Tony)

I thought it was about time that I checked in...... lots of things have happened to me in the last year.

I have really struggled since losing my mum, and seemed to have more bad days than good........ but that finally seems to have turned around now.

Let me give you the short version

I had reconstructive surgery April 2011 and unfortunately the left side rejected..... I then had to wait 10 months before they did it again..... this time it didn't reject, but the filler port went missing..... after 3 or 4 appointments, the surgeon finally sent me for an ultra sound.... and then they found the filler port, but it had collapsed under the bottom rib, causing the implant to flip over, so when ever i took my sports bra off, my left breast slipped down my chest about 6 inches (looking back now i can see the funny side ) but at the time i didn't.

I was supposed to be going on holiday to Portugal on the 13th of this month but I had to cancel because I had more surgery scheduled for 11th May..... The surgery seemed to go well and I have 2 boobs again, but it now looks like the surgeon has used a bigger implant in the left side than the right (deep joy) So I'm sat writing this with a chest full of stitches.... but I feel whole again for the first time in 20 months...... and the holiday has been re booked for last week in august, so that will give me something to aim for.

I dont know if i have to have more surgery until i go back to the consultant on thursday..... I will keep you all informed.

Another plus is...... I am doing the race for life on the 24th June..... in fact we have a team from my local pub "the corner pin girls" there are 7 of us doing it so far, my daughter, her best mate (landlady's daughter) a young barmaid, my friend and her daughter and our friend Ann, a pensioner who is a regular in the pub...... we have raised quite a lot of money already................... All the youngsters are jogging, and Ann got a bit upset because she said she was going to walk it..... I told her i was walking it too, so we would walk together...... to which Ann said "I will probably come last"..... so i just smiled and said "Ann, you're a pensioner and i will be a month out of surgery, as long as we finish, that's all that matters"...... so that is something else to look forward to.

I think I have rambled on enough now..... I am glad to see so many people doing so well

Love to all

Caz Xxx

Hi Nina

Hope this finds you well, It is so comforting that you all still come on here from time to time and am able to talk to people that k.ow of me from old, it would of been four years clear in February really thought that I would of made the five years I just cannot believe it can't get my head around why again you think you have done everything right over that time although I am told its a completely different type this time and in the other breast.

I was due to go to Gambia Monday just gone but they told me I had to cancel my holiday as they could not take the risk of me going so that really upset me to I know I can have a holiday after and boy will I lol where I do not know, I know health comes first but you know what it is like when you are back on that roller coaster. I am told I maybe having chemo once a week for either 12 or 18 weeks depending what results come back from the surgery so will keep you updated on that and not looking forward to it although I am told it will not be fec but part of the Taxatier family(think I spelt it right) but hey as long as it get rids of it who cares, I will have to grow my hair all over again that's the part I hated most last time loosing my hair, we all use to say it and it hasn't changed now.

Well I can go on and on but what's the point it is what it is and I have to deal with it and praying it's not as bad this time around

Take care my friend and sending a cyber hug

Linda xx

Hi Sites I

Good to hear from you glad your doing well yes it was a really big shock but as you can see from what I have written earlier I know it's going to be hard but with all you guys around it will make my journey easier please keep in touch and stay safe

Your Friend

Linda

Hi Linda

I see from the time of your messaging that sleep is not your friend ! Hardly suprising! But  as I said I always seem to be awake around now so happy to have chat !

I having been thinking about you so much ever since I saw the post about your cr**news.It is what we all dread, but we will all do everything we can to help you do this again xx

It is horrible that you had to cancel your holiday, I know as you say health is more important but We so look forward to our hols! During your treatment you can plan a big one for when its over.Since I finished treatment in march 2011(diagnosed july 2010) we have had a number of really fab hols! It changes whats important to you you! We are going away as a family just the 4 of us for christmas ( we have 2 girls aged 21and 18 ) something we never had christmas in sun I think our experiences make you do things you want rathe than just think them ! So u get planning my girl! I will be taking my ipad so will keep up to date with how you doing !

How is everyone around you doing ? Do u have good support ? I remember how rubbish it feels watching the people you care about being upset ! I personally found that one of the hardest bits! So thats where your cyber family here come in ! You dnot have to be careful what u say to us for fear of upseting us (although we care deeply ) you can rant away on here say what you like to us moan, cry, say anything even stuff friends and family might feek inappropriate! We all know what those times are like !

Please please remember we will be here for ya !

Lots love cyber hugs your fellow insomnic friend

Nina xxxx

Hi Linda

Absolutely gutted to read your post n can't tell you how sorry I am. Awful news. I promise I will be here for you too. Mine was very aggressive n op was in December. Still here n waiting for my 4 year clear. You will get through this. It must be terrifying to go through it all again. Unfortunately my body didn't recover from chemo n has left me using wheelchair on odd occasions that I do go out. This is why I haven't posted. I'm feeling too poorly to write more today I'm afraid. We will lift you up n carry you through this nightmare.

Loads of love to you. Leonie xxxxxx

Hello everyone. Hope you don't mind me joining. My Mum has just been diagnosed with breast cancer if you have a look at my other posts you will see what the doctors have said. They have put her on hormone tablets until her op as first she needs an mri because the mammogram and ultrasound are showing the tumour as different sizes. The mri is on the 27th and then the results and to talk about her treatment plan is on the 7th january. Seems so long to wait her consultant said he can get rid of this but I am still so scared the cancer is grade 3 and either 15mm or 30mm, depending on which measurement is right. I'm just scared the hormone tablets won't work and we will go back and the tumour will have grown. I think all of you are so brave on this thread. My Mum is being very brave right now too. Carrying on as normal. Sorry for the lack of paragraphs I'm on my phone xx

Hi Nina

Thanks for getting back and yes you guessed right sleep is not good at the moment all the different thoughts and feelings rolling around in the head talk about a rollercoaster but hey I will get through it again got all these holidays to plan funny enough we organized to go to Jamaica next year with some friends of ours they have just been round to see me next year so have said may have to put it back a month or two but will definitely be going can't wait.

Where are you and the family of to and what date do you go?

I popped out yesterday to the shops as was getting cabin fever after an hour and a half had to come home was absolutely shattered but also got to be careful not to over do things roll on the New Year so I can get on with treatment so it finishes quicker. I was watching Text Santa the other night well the water works started and didn't stop wrong program to watch really but at least it gave me an excuse to cry lol hat crying for no reason I feel people look at you as if to say what are you crying for although their not isn't it funny the thoughts and feelings you get.

As you may know Lonie has written to me as well so will be speaking with her next it feels so good to have you all here again for me I think we all went through so much together its like a bond and trust that grow like nothing else although a lot of us have never met.

Well I am shattered so going to have a sleep now

Take Care and have a fantastic holiday

A big cyber hug is sent to you

Love as always

Little Sis (Linda)

Hi Lonie

Thank you for your reply really appreciate it.

Hope you are ok, yes was quiet a shocker as you can imagine head was all over the place still is to be honest but hey done it once can do it again and makes it easier knowing I have my cyber family with me on my journey. Have had the operation now waiting to heel so the chemo can start that's the part we all hated I think but should get told after the New year which type I will be getting for definitely so will let you know.

So sorry I didn't realise that you were still suffering from the chemo I knew you had a bad time when you were going through it, was hoping that you recovered over time. What have they said to you now will you get your strength back in time?

How are your children doing and the hubby I now have two gorgeous grandchildren both boys 9 and 6 months old and want to be around to see them grow into fine men so that is my focus to get through this dreaded nightmare. Do you speak to any of the other ladies, has anyone heard from Caroline?

Well I am going t have a sleep now as shattered so take care and speak soon my friend

Cyber Hug sent to you

Love as always

Little Sis (Linda)

Hello Bumblegirl

Glad you joined our conversation as we are here to help and support you for as long as you need it, as you can see this thread has been going for a while and full of good information if you care to read through it, we all need the support at a time like this whether we are going through it or have a loved one doing this journey.

Sorry to hear about your mum she will be fine while waiting to see the doctor and she will be treated accordingly, I assume it is hormone based with what you have said once she has the Mri and ct scan they will know more, has she had an ultra sound and mammogram yet? How are you feeling through all of this, we are all here for you whenever you need us, this is the second time around for me went through it nearly four years ago, my two sons are born worriers so I understand your feelings fully.

Please keep in touch and let us know how things go take care

Little Sis (Linda)

Hi Littlesis, So sorry to hear that you are having to go through this s**t again and as you say probably knowing what is coming with the chemo is the worst but then again at least you have the arsenal of remedies for the side affects ready to help.  Personally I haven't touched a ginger biscuit in the last four years. As the 'girls' have said we are here for you to rant, winge, cry, off load what ever is worrying you..we are all strong!   I am sure that you will get through this.  Love Patricia x

Hi Bumblegirl,  Sorry to hear about your mum.  If you have the time try and read this thread from the beginning. You will find some useful information and some funny stories but on the whole you will find a little community that has stuck together through thick and thin.  We have been here for each other and have continued to stay in contact after four years.

Yes your mum will be worried underneath that brave exterior but we all have our own ways of coping with it.  Myself at times I wanted to talk about it and other times just wanted to be normal.  This site also gave me the opportunity to talk to people who initially I didn't know but had the same bond and understanding.  Any time you need to talk we will be here.  love Patricia x

Hi Bumblegirl,  Sorry to hear about your mum.  If you have the time try and read this thread from the beginning. You will find some useful information and some funny stories but on the whole you will find a little community that has stuck together through thick and thin.  We have been here for each other and have continued to stay in contact after four years.

Yes your mum will be worried underneath that brave exterior but we all have our own ways of coping with it.  Myself at times I wanted to talk about it and other times just wanted to be normal.  This site also gave me the opportunity to talk to people who initially I didn't know but had the same bond and understanding.  Any time you need to talk we will be here.  love Patricia x

Hello All

Hope you all had a good Christmas with your family's, well I am having trouble sleeping and haven't even started the Chemo yet, although I have been through this once I slept quite well except when I was on the steroids after each lot of chemo, I now find that I just can't  sleep and wander if anyone else is the same, yes I know it can be understandable but what can be done to help me any suggestions welcome.

Thank you all

Little Sis

Hi first time on site i have just been diagnosed with breast cancer every thing happening so quick have had masectomy been told I will have to go back for a further op to remove more lymp nodes now so scared and i am not sleeping well and very emotional.

Hiya ladies

I think you both need to see your Drs to get some sleeping pills. I was the same n still am but I have zopiclone nightly. Some find diazepam helps them to relax. I haven't found anything natural to help. Bless you both, your thoughts will be driving you mad. I'm so sorry to hear your news Kaleah. It all does happen so fast. Try to take it in stages. First op is over, get through the next one n then think about treatment.

Sis, family are doing well n all growing up. Lil one is 5 now. Unfortunately I think this is the best I'm gonna get. 1 in 4 people that survive cancer treatment end up with a chronic illness. At least I know why I haven't got better. Good news yesterday, I got my 4 year clear. Was talking to Bon jovi last night n she had to fight it again last year. Heartbreaking for you all. Wish you lots of love n be thinking of you.

   Leonie xxxx

P.s did a fundraiser for cancer research in September dressed as superheroes. Raised £1200. Don't forget that there are people supporting research n them top scientists will find a cure. Stay strong. Xxxx

Hi Lonie

Thanks for getting back I have thought about seeing the doctor but I am trying not to take sleeping tablets as will have enough things to take soon enough as you know, had a good night's sleep last night so fingers crossed lol.

Well I saw the breast care team on Friday as surgeon on holiday but they are pleased with the healing and phsyio also pleased so far so good, am going back on the 2nd Jan to see surgeon and Oncologist so hopefully they got it all and I will get my plan for chemo will keep you updated.

How is Bon Jovi doing now would love to speak to her again as she will know if things are different second time around any chance you can contact her, I will try on here though

Well take care my dear and speak soon

Little Sis (Linda)

Will message her now. Xxx

Thank you xxx

Hi All

I had an appoint today to see the surgeon after my operation, he informs me that I need another one next week as the tip of the tumour was against my mussel and he needs to take more as not happy with the margins. I realise that this is needed but so fed up and angry why is it you feel like nothing goes right for you. He is going in on the same cut as he done two weeks ago which quiet frankly makes  me feel sick but have to do what needs to be done.

On the upside of all this it was my implants that potentially saved my life I was told as it made the tumour push out rather than going towards my chest bone and ribs so it is not true what a lot of people say about them, I had the implants as I had breast cancer four years ago on my right breast this is in my left breast and different type altogether, this does scare me at times as I know what's to come with the chemotherapy although I appreciate it has moved forward a lot in four years.

Well that is my rant over now and thanks for listening

Little Sis (Linda)

You can go consult other surgeon if you want, my sister has Breast cancer and we seek for second opinion, and we find the best surgeon in India. It is always better to seek for second opinion, even though it is abroad, it's all worth it.

Hi Kaleah

Sorry to read what you are going through and we are all here to help each other. How are things going for you have you had your second operation yet? Like you I have to go back in tomorrow as they need to take some more of the mussel as margins not good, let me tell you I am petrified to, I try and think to myself all is fine unsure if I am trying to convince myself or my family and friends.

My sleeping has been up and down what about you hope it has got better or have you spoken to your team to help you. Well keep in touch and let us know how you are doing

Take Care

Little Sis (Linda)

Hiya hun

I'm sorry I haven't replied sooner. I've had some problems over Christmas I'm at the hospital today.  Here anytime you want a chat about anything.

Xxx