Hi

if you would like to talk about it message me and we can do it privetly

Erika xx

Hi Ladies (and Tony)

I thought it was about time that I checked in...... lots of things have happened to me in the last year.

I have really struggled since losing my mum, and seemed to have more bad days than good........ but that finally seems to have turned around now.

Let me give you the short version

I had reconstructive surgery April 2011 and unfortunately the left side rejected..... I then had to wait 10 months before they did it again..... this time it didn't reject, but the filler port went missing..... after 3 or 4 appointments, the surgeon finally sent me for an ultra sound.... and then they found the filler port, but it had collapsed under the bottom rib, causing the implant to flip over, so when ever i took my sports bra off, my left breast slipped down my chest about 6 inches (looking back now i can see the funny side ) but at the time i didn't.

I was supposed to be going on holiday to Portugal on the 13th of this month but I had to cancel because I had more surgery scheduled for 11th May..... The surgery seemed to go well and I have 2 boobs again, but it now looks like the surgeon has used a bigger implant in the left side than the right (deep joy) So I'm sat writing this with a chest full of stitches.... but I feel whole again for the first time in 20 months...... and the holiday has been re booked for last week in august, so that will give me something to aim for.

I dont know if i have to have more surgery until i go back to the consultant on thursday..... I will keep you all informed.

Another plus is...... I am doing the race for life on the 24th June..... in fact we have a team from my local pub "the corner pin girls" there are 7 of us doing it so far, my daughter, her best mate (landlady's daughter) a young barmaid, my friend and her daughter and our friend Ann, a pensioner who is a regular in the pub...... we have raised quite a lot of money already................... All the youngsters are jogging, and Ann got a bit upset because she said she was going to walk it..... I told her i was walking it too, so we would walk together...... to which Ann said "I will probably come last"..... so i just smiled and said "Ann, you're a pensioner and i will be a month out of surgery, as long as we finish, that's all that matters"...... so that is something else to look forward to.

I think I have rambled on enough now..... I am glad to see so many people doing so well

Love to all

Caz Xxx

Hi Linda, I'm so sorry to hear that and I know this doesn't help but you're a fighter and you will kick this in the butt again! Was the lump in the same breast as last time? I know it's a scary thought but at least you've found it and early by what I can gather. You know we are all here for you, so keep posting. Lots of love & positivity coming your way xxxx

Hi Anne

Hope you are keeping well and thanks for your kind words, I have to fight it as I became a grand mother this year to two lovely boys both my son's had children they are my world my everything, please keep in touch

Little Sis

(Linda)

Hi Colly

Thank you hope you are well, I am told it was very aggressive went from zero to grade three within a few months but hey like you said kicked its a.. once can do it again, so good to hear from the old crowd it is true when we all said we are like family and hopefully now this thread is starting up again it may help others once they read some of it.

Please keep in touch

Linda

As the boyfriend of someone who has been through treatment once, I know that I cannot speak from experience about having to go through the treatment a second time. So far it has been great news for her first course of treatments. She is now five years clear and I hope and pray that it continues.  I can offer you all the very best for the new year. Treatments have improved over the past four years, thanks to CRUK and others, so you will get the very best available. I know that the contributors to Cancer Chat will be of amazing support. If you feel that anyone close to you, (assuming) boyfriend, husband or any other male party fancies a natter I am only a post away.

RD

Hi Linda

We all posteed so many feelings and thoughts when we wer all going thru it the first time!

Iam so sorry to here your news ! Bast**** disease.

We are all still here to ask anything anytime ! I for one am a rubbish sleeper so if you need a early hours chat Iam your man! Xx

Will be thinking and praying for you thru this really tough time !

Thaer is still quite a few of us that keep in touch ,we are all happy to be there if you need a chat or a cyber hug!

Lots love Nina xxx

I am so sorry you have to go through this again - I know I appreciated all the kindness you showed me (I was having treatment the same time as you). I will be thinking of you and wishing you all the very best  x

Jan

Hi Nina

Hope this finds you well, It is so comforting that you all still come on here from time to time and am able to talk to people that k.ow of me from old, it would of been four years clear in February really thought that I would of made the five years I just cannot believe it can't get my head around why again you think you have done everything right over that time although I am told its a completely different type this time and in the other breast.

I was due to go to Gambia Monday just gone but they told me I had to cancel my holiday as they could not take the risk of me going so that really upset me to I know I can have a holiday after and boy will I lol where I do not know, I know health comes first but you know what it is like when you are back on that roller coaster. I am told I maybe having chemo once a week for either 12 or 18 weeks depending what results come back from the surgery so will keep you updated on that and not looking forward to it although I am told it will not be fec but part of the Taxatier family(think I spelt it right) but hey as long as it get rids of it who cares, I will have to grow my hair all over again that's the part I hated most last time loosing my hair, we all use to say it and it hasn't changed now.

Well I can go on and on but what's the point it is what it is and I have to deal with it and praying it's not as bad this time around

Take care my friend and sending a cyber hug

Linda xx

Hi Sites I

Good to hear from you glad your doing well yes it was a really big shock but as you can see from what I have written earlier I know it's going to be hard but with all you guys around it will make my journey easier please keep in touch and stay safe

Your Friend

Linda

Hi Linda

I see from the time of your messaging that sleep is not your friend ! Hardly suprising! But  as I said I always seem to be awake around now so happy to have chat !

I having been thinking about you so much ever since I saw the post about your cr**news.It is what we all dread, but we will all do everything we can to help you do this again xx

It is horrible that you had to cancel your holiday, I know as you say health is more important but We so look forward to our hols! During your treatment you can plan a big one for when its over.Since I finished treatment in march 2011(diagnosed july 2010) we have had a number of really fab hols! It changes whats important to you you! We are going away as a family just the 4 of us for christmas ( we have 2 girls aged 21and 18 ) something we never had christmas in sun I think our experiences make you do things you want rathe than just think them ! So u get planning my girl! I will be taking my ipad so will keep up to date with how you doing !

How is everyone around you doing ? Do u have good support ? I remember how rubbish it feels watching the people you care about being upset ! I personally found that one of the hardest bits! So thats where your cyber family here come in ! You dnot have to be careful what u say to us for fear of upseting us (although we care deeply ) you can rant away on here say what you like to us moan, cry, say anything even stuff friends and family might feek inappropriate! We all know what those times are like !

Please please remember we will be here for ya !

Lots love cyber hugs your fellow insomnic friend

Nina xxxx

Hi Linda

Absolutely gutted to read your post n can't tell you how sorry I am. Awful news. I promise I will be here for you too. Mine was very aggressive n op was in December. Still here n waiting for my 4 year clear. You will get through this. It must be terrifying to go through it all again. Unfortunately my body didn't recover from chemo n has left me using wheelchair on odd occasions that I do go out. This is why I haven't posted. I'm feeling too poorly to write more today I'm afraid. We will lift you up n carry you through this nightmare.

Loads of love to you. Leonie xxxxxx

Hi Linda

Absolutely gutted to read your post n can't tell you how sorry I am. Awful news. I promise I will be here for you too. Mine was very aggressive n op was in December. Still here n waiting for my 4 year clear. You will get through this. It must be terrifying to go through it all again. Unfortunately my body didn't recover from chemo n has left me using wheelchair on odd occasions that I do go out. This is why I haven't posted. I'm feeling too poorly to write more today I'm afraid. We will lift you up n carry you through this nightmare.

Loads of love to you. Leonie xxxxxx

Hi Lonie

Thank you for your reply really appreciate it.

Hope you are ok, yes was quiet a shocker as you can imagine head was all over the place still is to be honest but hey done it once can do it again and makes it easier knowing I have my cyber family with me on my journey. Have had the operation now waiting to heel so the chemo can start that's the part we all hated I think but should get told after the New year which type I will be getting for definitely so will let you know.

So sorry I didn't realise that you were still suffering from the chemo I knew you had a bad time when you were going through it, was hoping that you recovered over time. What have they said to you now will you get your strength back in time?

How are your children doing and the hubby I now have two gorgeous grandchildren both boys 9 and 6 months old and want to be around to see them grow into fine men so that is my focus to get through this dreaded nightmare. Do you speak to any of the other ladies, has anyone heard from Caroline?

Well I am going t have a sleep now as shattered so take care and speak soon my friend

Cyber Hug sent to you

Love as always

Little Sis (Linda)