hi im 36 mother of 3 n diagnosed dec 23. ive had 2 ops n 5 of 6 chemo n finding it very hard at mo. feel so peed off n cant get rid of that feeling. would love to chat. x
Hi Rose, two more chemos to go! One next Friday then a break before radio and in that time is my 45th. I havea bottle of champers from xmas for that day and that will be also when we decide on wedding dates so i am using each stage to plan something positive. You are always so cheerful - is there a secret drug? Could use it for my son in law lol
Hi Nina, I am not far behind you as you know - I can't wait for chemo to finsih. How are you feeling now that that horrible part is over? I hope you celebrated !
OMG booming chemo brain or what ! Forgot to say i am so excited - hair is nearly half a cm long - wispy and grey but definately there - still no underarm or bikini hair, but have got hair on the lower leg - weird or what! hardly any eyebrows or lashes and no hair up the nose so now i know what you meant by nose dripping! Decided to buy two new wigs at the end of the month, one long for my glamourous evening or sultry look and one short funky crop style ready to get used to my new style and to wear more frequently (sure it will be more comfy).
For all of you who suffer with wig itch, I tried the cotton wig caps but they were always loose, so i used an old tee shirt and cut caps from the sleeves. Not only is the material thicker so the wig doesn't itch, but they fit better too - tighter with a lot of stretch. I made four in an hour or so hand stitching and wear them to bed - like i said glamourous !!!
Still a bit of a mess..... but i'm getting there.... one day at a time..... with lots of cuddles from my daughter and lots of help from my friends (and when I say friends, I really do include all of you)
I'm no longer at the "why has he done it" stage.... I've reached the "he's a tosser" stage now
I am seeing a new counciller now..... and she has explained that this detached feeling is totally normal..... she said that I have gone through so much in the last 5 months, I will still be experiencing feelings of shock and disbelief about the cancer and the Mastectomy..... let alone him leaving
My friend has persuaded me to go out with her tonight.... she met with some resistance at first, because we are going to the pub I used to work at... I was worried that they would all expect me to be like I used to be..... She told me that they're my friends and they want to see me again.
So I am going.... I have promised to stay for 2 drinks, and she says if I am not relaxed by then, she will pay for my taxi home herself... so how could I refuse?
So on a whim, I withdrew some of the money I got as a macmillan grant (and haven't used yet) went out and bought a new (pretty) mastectomy bra, a new top and some make up.
I will come back tomorrow and tell you if I stayed the night or bottled it after 2 drinks
I am really looking forward to going out....... but I'm scared to death too..... how strange is that
But at the end of the day.... it's the first step to the rest of my life
I might be hurt, upset and confused....... but I'm not dead yet
If two types of breast cancer at the same time couldn't take me out....... then neither will he
Aw Sara how lovely of you to say that, im doing grand, feel fab, just cant wait for my hair to grow a bit more, leaving it for another month then getting it coloured, Radio was a breeze compared to chemo, not be long now, time flies by, honestly cant believe i had my op 8 months ago. Look after yourself x
You sound really upbeat again which is fab,and lovely plans on the horizon.Looking back can you believe what you have been through and how endless it seemed at the start.A total life change.I,m OK thanks,picking up now after my fright before Christmas,very slowly but surely.Scan next month to see if this chemo is working,I think it is so on from there and warmer weather into the bargain!
And it sounds like the old Caz .So glad you are managing as best you can.Well done taking that step and going out.Whether you stay for 10 minutes or a few hours doesn,t matter,you do what is comfortable for you .I really hope you enjoy yourself.I know when i went to our local after I was diagnosed people didnt know what to say,some hugged me and others just smiled because they didnt know what to say so I went round everyone and said hello which broke the ice for them .
Your councilor sounds as if she is helping.Its a long slog but you will get there.
Caz i am so glad to hear you are taking the plunge. One day at a time is so so right, and you will get through the storm.
My wig from NHS was butchered by a hairdresser - who sells wigs and is on the hospital site - I am going to try some cheapy ones at like £20 a pop and see of macmillan will help me get one good one. At the moment i am jusst wearing a scull cap which looks awful - but you know what .... i don't care - but i would like to have one nice wig to make me feel better when i go out.
i did want to ask thou ladies, i was told having radio can make the breast shrink and the skin tight. Is there a huge difference? I know this is vain but i keep thinking i have dimples and wrinkly skin already where the lum was removed, and i have the option of reconstruction still and not having the radio therapy. It seems so insignificant when i read some of the posts and challenges you have all been through, but i ask now not just for myself, but for the others that unfortuantley will follow. So many questions are not answered by the hospital staff. I like to think i have choices still and can be prepared for the changes without going to pieces this time!
Just a reminder all,
the days are getting longer and lighter, February brings back our fleeing birds, a smile lightens someones day, and you have a great excuse to curl up and stuff yourself with chocolate and watch crap TV. Lifes not so bad!
Personally I had no problems with radio.but everyone is different.I had recon afterwards and they stretched the skin OK.I would start moisturising now if I were you,a good old dollop of cream twice a day should make a good difference.
I noticed the evenings are staying lighter as well.Lets hope all this heavy frost has kept the bugs away.Roll on spring.!!
