Hi everyone its been a long time since Ive been on AGAIN because the computer has been playing up AGAIN and its made me very  . could do with a new one but this time of year its an expense we can't afford! I've been reading back a few posts but it will take me forever to catch up so wondered if you could all just update me on how you are all doing!! Its lovely to be back in the community I've been on a bit of a rollercoaster last two months and am waiting for the straight jacket to arrive lol!! Seriously does anyone else get really angry!! My anger has been uncontrollable at times with me even smashing a wall and it has really upset me!!

Please be intouch

LOTS AND LOTS OF LOVE TO YOU ALL

Louise

Hi Louise

Sorry to hear you are having problems with your computer and your emotions.I dont get angry because I find it just leaves me feeling worse in the long run,plus my last treatment has damaged my heart so at the moment I cant get stressed.Waiting to see the heart specialist in 2 weeks and when he gives me a magic pill I will be fine.You have been through so much for so long.Can you have some sort of therapy or a massage or reiki treatment to help?Being on here should help to unload so rant away and let us help.No more wall hitting!!!

Stay strong

Rose xx

Hi everyone,  As always you inspire me. I love the look chemochick, perhaps i should be a bit braver and try some makeup, and hey, I will even post pics. Lets start a trend. So lovely to hear from you caz although I am so sorry to hear you are still having a rough time. Gosh I could say something to each and everyone of you but I'd be here all night!  I have my 3rd chemo tomorrow - and hope to change the meds. Last time i felt so miserable, not suicidal but so low that i had real concerns. The funny thing is it does say that that is one of the side effects, and the anti nauesua drugs says nausea is one of the side effects. Mmmmm ?

Having trouble sleeping lately too, but seem to have lifted the depression a little. Got my daughter over tomorrow - only last week i had a down day when she came and hardly saw her, this time looks like i will be either asleep or a zombie, it is five past five in the morning right now!

I just wanted to call in and say thank you to you all for always inspiring me and making me feel that i am not alone. I have mostly good days but on the bad ones it is to all of you i turn as i really do feel that only you here understand. The family are good but it is not the same as knowing someone really does understand. I have been wearing the new turban with a liner as the little stubble is still falling out, eyebrows are very thin. I haven't worn the scarfs with them yet, but thought maybe i would be brave and venture to chemo with the turban and scarf and a little makeup. I have not yet stepped outside the door without the wig! But as always, you have all inspired me and small steps i hope will lead to bigger ones. anyway, i should be thinking yipee half way through the chemo (nearly!). Radiotherapy worries me more ! The usual five weeks and then an intensive whole breast. I just wondered if anyone else had had this particualr regime.

By the way Tony, your words about bald women - I heard something similar from antoher guy in the week. Sinead O'connor - she's a beauty, so maybe there's hope! Thanks again to you all for your encouragement and sharing your experiences with me.

Love to you all, and Caz, thank you for your words, good luck at the hospital, give them hell! And we will all be thinking of you.

sara x

hi all just come on for a moan hope u dnot mind

had 5th chemo monday feel really rubbish being sick despite anti sick tabs so tired and tearful hate givin in to this, thought i had managed to fight it all way.

i want to do all xmas stuff and make it lovely for my lovely family but not able to do everything i usually can. i know everyone understands but i dnot want this i want to b my ususal manic self!!

sorry just ranting my husband is working away for few days and breaks his neck to get back for me its not fair. my daughter hates seeing her mum unwell but is so brave !i hate what this is doin i feel i am letting everyone down they all keep saying how brave and strong i am but i am not i feel weak and stupid for not being able to keep goin !!i know chemo is nearly over but i want it finished xx

sorry to go on but i dnot want to do this to family and friends xx

thanks to u all for being there xx

love and hugs nina xxxxx

Hi All.

I know I pop up here, now and again with odd comments, but reading the various posts about hair loss, make up etc, reminded me of a major turning point with my partner, Sarah's "look" during and after chemo.

Firstly she was(and still is) nutty and will try anything. She wore the 70s "stuff" in the 70s, in the 80 big hair, head bands, leg warmers, rolled up sleeves and so on took over the look over. These changes carried on. Changes here and there. Then the news of breast cancer last year, then the op, chemo and her hair fell out. She thought her world had fallen apart. She had hats and mad colour scarfs, as posted about earlier, but one day we were in a waiting room, flicking through various mags and she came across a photo of fashion model Amber Rose. She banged the mag on my lap and said "see that. I'm going for it!"

Sarah is not 6 foot tall, but boy did she grab the inspiration. Have a look ladies. Please. It might give you an idea or two.

Remember also the "Look good feel better" program!

Take care.

RD

http://amber-rose.org/gallery/

Hi everyone!

Uhmm interesting topic...like everyone here..mine is secondary breast cancer spread in the pleural of my lovely lungs! I had chemo 2 years ago and my gud feelings thinks i will have more next year.Is a tough journey for everyone...partners,family, friends...I just hope they find a cure for every single cancer. I dont call it cancer ..i call it..."small C", Is so many topics that i can talk about this subject from trying to find a new job living with small c, to check ups and ct scans, hormone medications, etc I am a fighter like everyone here..but sometimes we have blue days....We need to keep being positive guys and I think this is why i coming here too..doesnt matter if i get scared of the b c words...I thinking to start to write a diary but i am lazy...at least for the past 6 months but i am going to try to back to be the active person that i was before...will see....

Hi Nina and girls,

It seems like things are getting on top of us all.Nina you sound like a mirror image of me at the moment.Christmas is my thing,I am like a child and I love it but I am sitting on the settee in my P,J,s because dressing takes up too much energy chomping at the bit .I know I cant expect more as 10 days ago I had emergency heart procedure but I find it soooooooooooo hard to slow down,even after 3 1/2 years of this.We really must be kinder to ourselves and accept these changes but it is so difficult.

Have you tried changing the anti sickness tabs?There are a few different ones and be sure to take them before because they dont work once the sickness has started.,which sorry you probably know.I hate what I am doing to my family as well,I want to be helping my daughter with the grandchildren while she goes shopping but I cant even lift the one year old.But we will all get there.Poor Lonie has been going through terrible symptoms since i can remember.being on here/

We must all get ready for a joint Christmas drink at a set time over Christmas and dont feel bad about coming on here and ranting ,it is why we are all here and as you say it takes the pressure off family.

I hope you get your meds sorted,it drags you down so much feeling low all the time.

Good luck to all lovely ladies.

Rose xxx

Hello and welcome to the place no-one wants to be.

Have you tried writing a blog.If you go onto other topics i will try to bring it to the top .It is really helpful to read and keep note of what you have gone through.Are you on treatment now?

Keep posting .

Rose xxx

Happy birthday tomorrow Colly,Make it a good one.

You could try aloe vera after sun on the redness,i found it worked well.

Rose xx

Hi Rose, its sat my birthday, but thanks very much. I did mention using aloe vera but hosp really against it, they only want me using simple soap and aqueous creme, until at least 2 weeks after treatment is finished, cant believe how quickly my treatment has went by, im blessed to have been in touch with so many nece people on this forum xxx

hi nina

just wanted to say no 5 was my worst time, n was when i started this page. so glad i did. it might help if you go back to the beginning of this thread. it might help you understand more about the way you are feeling. wish i had a magic wand. or a cure would do!

feeling sad myself n fed up with it all n bit teary. n my chemo finished months ago. roll on january n the end of chemo.

lots of love leonie xxxx

hi nina

just wanted to say no 5 was my worst time, n was when i started this page. so glad i did. it might help if you go back to the beginning of this thread. it might help you understand more about the way you are feeling. wish i had a magic wand. or a cure would do!

feeling sad myself n fed up with it all n bit teary. n my chemo finished months ago. roll on january n the end of chemo.

lots of love leonie xxxx

Lonie,

You do have a magic wand...it is this forum...you started this thread and it is helping us all in their hundreds....thank-you.

Sara.. yes there are loads of beautiful baldies out there, you only have to look at Lee, Tinks and Shents pictures...also remember star-trek, Yes Sinead O'Connor, Demi Moore, Ripley (Sigourney Weaver) and African Mersi tribes woman who's culture is to have a bald head and who look perfectly natural and beautiful (although the disk in the bottom lip is not my thing)... It is the confidence and strength to just say I am Bald and proud, no different to blokes that lose their hair and lose confidence...shave it off I say and just don't have a comb-over... I hope no one takes offence at my words as absolutely none intended, after all I am just a bloke and what do I know...

Scoffy, try a blog...

[[]]

Much Love to all,

Tony xxxx

awwww Tony, you cheered me up absolutely no end! I not only looked at my little stubble this mornng but found as mad as it sounds, without so much eyebrow now it actually looks ok. I went to the hospital with my snoody type hat over my beanie - that really was a first - i am never seen without the wig outside my four walls.

I booked look better- but looks like i won't get a place untl March. I am inpatient too, but never mind, i find my inspiration here and i am just so amazed at how we all complain about our appearance. yet, when i flicked back through here today, i saw so many beautiful faces. It made me realise how true what you all say is. it isn't until the superficial is removed- long glorious hair and eyelashes that we see the real person,  and oh boy just as beautiful on the outside as on the inside.

It was snowing at the hospital friday, mike came back in with a white snow cap and did make me giggle. How lovely though to be driving with large blizzard snow flakes reflecting off the christmas lights. shame it causes so much disruption, hope you are all coping ok.

Nina, i comletely understand how you feel, i threw a wobbly today feeling things should be done but hadn't been and then tried doing them myself to prove a point, then woosh back down to resting and exhuastion. dont be so hard on yourself, or those around you, you know how you would be behaving and reacting if you were watching and caring for seomeon in the same position as you. just know we are all here to listen and then kick your backside back into positives just like you do for all of us.

there are so many wishes and personal messages i wanted to say - but i'd be here forever and feel wooshed, so jusst wanted to say thinking of you all, love and hugs

sara xxxxxxx

Hi girls,

Invite for a cyber drink on off topic if anyone wants to join in.

Rose xxx

Hello everybody

Well I finally got some answers.... the reason one side is swollen and one side is dented is.... because the Lobular cancer (right breast) was so deep they removed some of the muscle from my chest wall, if they hadn't done that, both sides would be the same.

I went to the reconstruction clinic yesterday and now have my options.. I have to make a choice but the surgeon has told me that its going to be a very long process with lots of surgeries... but I guess it will be worth it in the long run.

As if I haven't got enough on my plate... My husband is leaving me.... He suffers from severe depression due to losing his mum to breast cancer at the age of 8.... and me having to deal with it all has pushed him over the edge, so he is leaving me... he is staying for christmas (because of my daughter) and he is moving out on 30th December.... so every day is torture at the moment.

I don't know how much more I can cope with.

So Yes Rose... I will join you in that drink.... I think I need it.

I hope that everybody has a brilliant Christmas and a very happy new year

Love always

Caroline. Xxx

darlin caroline

you have so much to deal with al our love and prayers are with u . I know this sounds harsh but if he is weak u r better off without YOU need to be the focus, the centre of attention , u r in no position to deal with his issues. I hope that doesnt sound heartless but sometime s u need to think of yourself. do u have family around ? remember helplines and here if u need to vent any feelings xxxx

not only cyber drink but a great big one xxxxxx

cheers to u love and hugs

love nina xxxxxx

Hi   Rose

I   would love to join you in a small tipple, so I shall raise my glass now to you and all the lovely ladies and gentlemen on this site and wish you all a very merry christmas and a happy HEALTHY new year xxxxxxxxxxxxx   

     Dearest Caroline, words fail me right now, just when I think people can't stoop any lower someone like your husband comes along and does this.

Sadness fills me right now as you are such a wonderful and beautiful lady who deserves so much better.

I pray he will see sense and stand strong by your side and if not then I pray god gives you the strength to get through these difficult times., Im sending you much love and know this! - you have a strong network of cyber friends out here rooting for you and sending you much love and great big cyber hugs.

I shall raise my glass to you Caroline and wish you with all my heart a merry christmas and a happy healthy new year xxxxxxxxxxxx

Caroline, I'm so sad to hear this news, I really hope you're ok babe, youre in my thoughts and prayers, chin up, love to you and your daughter, I hope you have a lovely Christmas for you and her. Sorry don't know what else to say xx

Dear Caroline

I am truly so sorry to hear this news, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your daughter. 

I wish everyone a very happy Christmas and an even healthier new year.

I will raise a glass to you all over the Christmas and you will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Much love

Anne

x

OH !!!!!*******++F<>****   This is just too much Caz !!!

Your head must be a total jumble.Words fail me,which as you know is not like me.Stay in there babes,we will always be here when you need to scream and shout.I will make sure yours is a double.

Speak soon sweatheart.

Rose xxx