Hi,

I am sorry to butt into your discussion but just wanted to wish you all well.

You all seem like tough cookies and am touched, truly.

I am currently waiting, I have my breast clinic appointment on 27th oct and really nervous, not eating or sleeping much to be honest but then I don't eat much anyway lol.

Really don't know what to expect with this appointment just that I will probably be having an ultrasound as I'm only 24.

The reason I went to the GP was because I have bloody nipple discharge and a rather deep dimple. I can't help but think the worst but do understand there are benign causes for this out there. Just glad my GP took me seriously.

Do you mind if I ask how you ladies felt at this stage? Am I insane or am I being normal?

Best wishes everyone

Kylie xxx

No Kylie,

You are not insane..... first let me say you are very sensible to see your doctors immediately.... you would be surprised how many think they are too young so don't bother.

I know this is a very scarey thing to try and come to terms with... and the waiting is the hardest bit.... If I had to discribe how I felt when I was waiting for appointments and tests then I think the only word I could come up with is....LOST... Very emotional and scared to death.... but I now know that all these feelings are perfectly normal.

If you are worried about what to expect, why not ring up your breast clinic and ask them.... they are normaly really good and have no problem explaining what you should expect.

When my doctor refered me to our local breast clinic, I was examined by a lady doctor, then I had to have a mammogram and an ultrasound scan..... I would suggest you take somebody with you... maybe your partner / Mum / friend just for a bit of moral support.... but I have to say that the breast care unit and all it's staff were brilliant and really did well to calm all my fears.

If you have any questions at all, please feel free to come here and ask, there is always somebody who has been in the situation you are in and able to offer help and advice.... we are all here for each other.

Take care honey... and try not to imagine the worst (easier said than done)

Love Caz xxx

Hi lee, glad you're feeling better. I do remember no you did mention before you've not to have radio. Think ive to start tamoxifen on first day of radio. My hair is coming back in, feels spiky lol. I still have a sore neck but breast doc thinks I just need to be patient and let chemo get out of my system, so hopefully it will get better soon. How are your nails? Mine are a mess x

Hi girls and Tony,

Thank you so much for the lovely messages... I can really feel all the love and warmth you are all sending me.

Colly... Yes honey, anybody with cancer can get a macmillan grant, ask your macmillan nurse (from the hospital) to get in touch with the Macmillan benifits advisor at citizans advice burea and they will call you in... you can apply for anything you need, I got the money for a new mattress and some clothes... but it can be for anything you need, whether it's help with a bill, a new washer or just some clothes... also, the macmills benifit advisor will inform you of what benifits you are entitles to... just take proof of all your household income.... It's definitely worth an ask.

Lee.. I am so sorry to hear that you have been back n hospital.... I do hope you feel better soon... and I am so glad you had a good birthday honey.

And as for all you other ladies, good luck with your treatment.

I am back at the hospital tomorrow as the infection has come back AGAIN the right side is lovely, all dried up and everything, but the left side has swollen again almost to the size my ariginal breast was, very strange, it's like my boob is growing back.... but I have been throwing up really bad and it burns to touch, and i have a raging temperature and feel grotty in myself... So Dave is taking me back to the Jasmine suite tomorrow and he's said he is going to kick off untill they sort it out as last ime I went, they just told me to go home, and said it would sort itself out in time and gave me an appointment for 7th December... so tomorrow he is not taking no for an answer...... this infection has been going on for 6 weeks and its worse now than it ever was..... It's not even as if I have an infection in my scar, My Scars are both fully healled, the problem is inside.

I will come on here when I get back from the hospital and let you know what they said

Thank you so much for all you support ladies and Tony

I would be a pile of snot and tears if it wasn't for all of you

Thank you

Love caz xx

Good luck tomorrow Caz,it is so annoying that this is still going on and pulling you down all the time.

Hope you get some good results.

Rose xxx

Hello Ladies and Tony

Hope this finds you all well, sorry I have not been on for a while but had a lot going on espically with the recent problems with my soon to be ex-husband. Well I am not going to depress myself or any of you with that update as I will just start ranting and will never stop.

Caz how did you get on today as I have been following your story on here and you have been through so much, I hope your husband helped you sort it out up at the hospital.

Colly, I have now started my radiotherapy I had my 6th one today so 12 more to go, so far so good just following all their advise about the creams etc as I know you are around the same stage in treatment as me. How are you getting on with it all, have you had any dates given yet for radiotherapy? Let me know how you are doing. My hair is really growing back now it's about 2 - 2.5inches long but has come back dark underneath but grey on top so have bought a healthcare dye for it so will let you all know how they work lol.

Tony how are you, I did reply to you about how things were with myself and husband but was unsure if you managed to read it the other week. Anyway what have you been up to and I must say your pic was great. Are you still at work and how are the family? I t would be great to hear from you.

Lee I was sorry to read that you have been unwell but glad you had a great birthday. I thought I had not read anything from you for a little while as I missed all those words of wisdom you give to everyone they always bring a smile to my face and at times I have needed that believe me.

Keep well all and speak to you soon

Littlesis

Hi all,

I rang the hospital and they told me to go straight in and see Miss Rogers... She said there is definite swelling and there was some fluid, but when she tried draining it, there wasn't very much fluid there at all... and it was clear again.... She sent some of the fluid away for tests and also sent me for some blood tests... She now thinks that I have an infection inside the tissue now and has put me on some heavy duty antibiotics.

I think I have turned a corner too.... I rang my GP this morning and cried down the phone at her and told her everything and i asked for help.

I have an appointment for friday to see her, and she will change my anti-depressants and sort out some psycological help for me.. and she wasn't very impressed when I told her how the breastcare nurse was with me....... an hour later the breast care nurse rang me, and arranged for me to go in on Thursday and have a proper talk and also get fitted for some proper silicone fake "breasts"... hopefully the weight and size will be better than these softee's (at least i wont find these on my shoulders)

So I think I have turned a major corner now..... Just need to get this stupid infection sorted.. My scars are fully healed, no sign of infection on the outside... its all inside.

Thank you so much for all your help and support

Love Caz xxx

Caz,

So glad that at last people from the professional world are listening and that you are getting the support that you so rightly need.  But it's not right that we have to stand up and scream and shout  or end up an emotional blubbering wreck to be heard. You have certainly been through the mill and hope that this is now the beginning of the end of your turmoil and hope that your experience will make some of them sit up and take note, if only for the next person who has problems.  Hope you are feeling stronger soon.

Patricia x

Hi littlesis, nice to hear from you, my radio starts on 26/11 and finishes 7/1, how's you're hair coming along, what length is it now? Caz glad things are starting to sound better, hopefully you'll be feeling better and breast nurses will get you sorted with new boobs, Patricia, youre hair is looking thick, how long did it take to get to that length? Lee good on you getting back to the gym, I must admit ive been lazy and need to get back into it, but think i'll wait till after my radio. Leonie where are you this week, hope you and your lot are well, and tell me about your hair and eye lashes lol. I can wear a wig but not a lot i can do about bottom eye lashes lol. Hi to everyone else, harry sara and anyone else ive missed. Ive done most of my xmas shopping, john off friday so doing a bit then and hopefully that will be me done. lots of love. Col xx

Hi Col,

Yeah, the new me! I finished my chemo on 8th June and by the 9th September was brave enough to go without a bandana, it was extremely short though and needed a hat/cap on occasions because it was cold.  I had gone to London for a week, so knew nobody, which gave me a great boost to my confidence by realising that actually nobody even noticed me with hardly any hair!  The rest is history, as they say, came home and just carried on.  In fact everyone I know has told me to leave it as it is now as they really like it, and this is from people I can trust to tell me the truth and not say what I want to hear. Had the neck area trimmed a few weeks ago, but it needs a slight trim all over now just to tidy it up.  It is still very soft, bit like fur, which means when I've washed it, it's a bit like a puff ball but soon settles down.  Also have aquired some wavy bits at the back, looks a bit like its been 1920's crimped.  LOL   So today's hair has taken me about 6 months, which sounds a long time but in reality it wasn't.  The eyebrows and eyelashes came back fairly quickly, and it just didn't seem right to be pulling the eyebrow hairs as they were growing back!

Patricia x

Hi Leonie,

So sorry to hear that you didn't quite have to holiday you were hoping for, although I'm sure that getting away will have been of some benefit.  Also congrats on your 3rd wedding anniversary, hope you had a lovely evening.

So sorry to hear that your son Charly is asthmatic, my youngest had problems when he was young was really bad especially when he got a cold but as he got older he got better and now has no problems at all and hasn't had an attack or an inhaler for years. Fingers crossed that Charly also gets better.

My son has to go and see an endocrinologist end of December, his bloods came back with a bit of an imbalance of hormones so has been refered.  We both breathed a sigh of relief when they said it wasn't cancer and are now not trying to let the latest news worry us.

I'm now offically on holiday.  My last certificate finished on 9th November and was given a note to return to work.  Had a meeting with my employer on the 10th November to discuss my phased return.  Can't remember how the conversation cme round to holidays but the up shot is my holiday year goes from 1st Jan to 1st Jan and so I have a year's worth of holidays to get in, this takes me to 29th December. LOL  I will return to work on the 4th January 2011 (can't go back 30th and 31st December, no-one there!) and probably phased return then. LOL  Don't know why but eveyone seems to want to give me there Christmas card and shopping lists!

I am quite glad I didn't go back to work this week as I'm now smothered in a cold, it would have been sods law! Sitting here feeling a tad sorry for myself, although not in the same league as when going though chemo etc. in fact don't know what I'm wingeing about! LOL

Also didn't have a great day yesterday.  Helped my mum take my dad (who is virtually disabled and can't walk without a frame) to hospital for an appointment for a check-up at the eye clinic. He ended up being admitted as they discovered he has a detached retina and will need an operation!  So as you can imagine was a bit shell shocked yesterday.

Right need to go and buy some lemons and honey etc. why is it you never have to right things in when your not well?

Patricia xx

Hey Littlesis,

So sorry I have not responded - I have really been slacking on my duties on here - I will have a proper catch-up and get back into the swing of things over the next couple of days!

Catch up soon.

T xxx

Hey Littlesis,

So sorry I have not responded - I have really been slacking on my duties on here - I will have a proper catch-up and get back into the swing of things over the next couple of days!

Catch up soon.

T xxx

hi all,

i found another blooming lump Monday evening. But, i phoned my breast care nurse on Tuesday morning and saw a consultant today 9am - very good. Anyway, i wasn't overly worried about the lump having had the mri show jusst one area which was removed. The ultra sound revealed a cyst - not only usually common but extra common after surgery. i was so impressed with the speed of the appointment so the team could reassure me. But for me, it wasn't fear of the lump, it was the awful feelling of sitting in the areas that remind me of the diagnosis and i jusst find i can't settle when i am there. whilst i was waiting to go into the ultra sound room, the lady before me had to havea core biospy as they had found something and i felt really sick. I wanted to cry thinking of this poor lady and how i was some couple or so months ago. i was obviously relieved that nothing sinister was going on in the wonky globe of fat i call my left breast so at least for me today there was good news. Then later today i went and picked up my new wig - HURRAY - and it was far better than all my expectations, a little fringe trim and i'm away. I suddenly feel i can be normal again, but i am finding my hair thinning a little and odd stray hairs in the washing machine and over my shoulders and getting the wig was becoming a real issue for me.

i coped so much better after finding the lump Monday thanks to knowing I have so many friends here who understand my feelings. I didn't panic or go into over drive and stay up all lnight. Well, that's a lie, i did stay up till 5am this morning, but thats becasue me and my lovely old man had a giggle fit and a heart to heart about everything under the sun. It was lovely.

i am wishing you all well, I think about you often. we have such complex lives at the best of times but always, here, there is someone who takes the time to show they care. So thanks again to all of you for helping me on my journey.

xxxxx