Hi to each and everyone of you don't you think that we are all quite amazing to be able to even be able to come on here and tell our stories I feel like I'v made so many new friends.

Anyway Leonie I'm so glad that you've managed to get some funding for nursery at least you know that Charley will be having a nice time whilst you gain some energy back. You really are having a rough time of it but how nie that you could get to the beach, I take it you live nearby to one. That must be lovely. As for having a looney doctor me too!! Just nice to be able to speak to someone who doesn't judge and you can say what you want about anything!!!!

Don't know bout you lot but I have all different feelings creep up on me when I least expect them. People who are close to you want to see you positive all the time and tell you how well you look and now i'v lost my hair how much it suits me but no matter what personally I just don't feel remotely like the same person. People say losing hair and putting weight on are least of worries but it does alter how I feel about myself and has affected my confidence.

Anyway each and everyone of you if I don't mention you by name doesn't mean I'm not acknowleding your messages but I do think about you all.We are all at different stages and will hopefully stick together through thick and thin.

Take care and hope you are all ok

love Lou

Well said Lou,

There are so many of us on this site now .Good luck and bless you all and the lovely people who care for us.

Rose xxx

Hi Patricia

I totally agree with you, I've told him all the cons but he keeps coming up with pros lol.I will miss john but im sure it will fly by very quickly, i think he just feels bad about leaving me behind (even tho i wasnt going in the first place lol). My friend is going to come and stay for a few days and leave from work from mine etc and I have my girls and my mum and johns family too, think its just night time he's worried about me being alone plus he knows my hair is rapidly coming out and think he's worried that i'll get upset and that he wont be here to support me. Anyway we've just been to fuerteventura in march so its not as tho ive not had a holiday and we'll def get away at end of treatment for a week in the canaries. Its a wee shame, he's so sad about going and should be looking forward to it, im sure once he's there the 2 of them will have a laugh, lots of water sports and boys stuff that would just bore me anyway lol. Have a nice day, weather awful here.....again! need to get some food shopping so I dont starve whilst he's away. xx

Hi,

Andy continues to improve and is looking much healthier - we seem to be taking it it turns which is good as so far - touch wood - we have managed to be there for each other for the bad times. I can't stay ill forever so hopefully things will get a bit easier as time goes by.

Thanks for your concern

x

hi patrica

it was so nice to read your message. finally you are finished n looking forward to a normal life again. i really hope you get that holiday. you definately deserve it.

i over did it tuesday n am still paying for it. what did i do? went food shopping thats all but walked instead of using the electric trolly. had a nightmare day yesterday aswell for treatment. 3 hours turned into 8 all because doctor didnt sign my persciption! rads start 2nd august.

be back in touch when i feel bit better. again, well done patrica, you got through it all. enjoy that light now you are out of the tunnel.

lots of love leonie xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi Leonie,

Sorry to hear that you have been having problems again. It really is true what they say, 'One day at a time' or in our case, 'One hour at a time'. Since I finished radiotherapy on Tuesday, I have been feeling more tired than normal, everything is an effort at the moment. I have had a couple of 'Can't be bothered' days. Now I do realise that the radiotherapy continues to work for two to three weeks after treatment finishes but I wonder if it's a case of my body has now gone 'Thank god for that, I can now rest!', because realistically I've no need to set the alarm to get up in the morning and the calender is empty and doesn't look like a spider has crawled all over it. I noticed a comment by someone on another post about how we perhaps expect to much from our bodies in this 24/7 world we live in, which reminded me of an article that makes very interesting reading.

www.cancercounselling.org.uk/.../WebResHarvey

We had a BBQ last weekend which to be honest, I didn't do a great deal. I was in charge of the food and being a cook I'm afraid won't let any man take charge of the barbie LOL, no way am I going to be ill with food poisioning after everything else I've been through :grin: By the end of the day I was knackered, my feet and back were killing me (every time I got myself a chair someone else sat on it, even my mum!) We did have a good time not the best weather as you will have seen on the news for the north west, although the sun did eventually shine in the afternoon and all the men/boys managed a game of football and I thought I was unfit! hahahahahaha

But that's my point, I look in the mirror and I look fine, everyone says how well I'm looking. BBQ? yeah easy, that's my job can do it standing on my head! No I can't, it nearly put my lights out! In some ways we don't realise just what all this treatment has put our bodies through. I was anticipating going back to work in September but to be honest the way I'm feeling at the moment I'm not to sure and this brings me back to 'One day at a time'.

Phew! now that I've finished therorising, how are you today? My doctor forgot to sign the perscription a couple of times but fortunately the nurses at the chemo unit were quick on the ball. How's that lad of yours doing?

Take care and don't forget, don't be hard on yourself.

Patricia x

hi patrica

felt much better today until i went dentist. needed to go for a while cos still having problems with my gum on one side. that was what put me in hospital during chemo. still infected cos i cant fight it off. so he gave that side a right cleaning n god does it hurt! he numbed it n all so god knows what it will feel like later. been hard to clean cos the pain in my mouth n ulcers but thankfully i dont have that problem anymore. hopefully i'll pick up soon n get rid of it for good.

liams fine now until someone kicks him in the leg, which has already happened of course. dylan did it by accident apparantly! he was dead brave having his 9 stitches out. nice scar which boys like but they did a good job. got dylan ill today with some bug. thing is, you know liam will get it n charly, hopefully i wont. but as soon as you nurse one kid youre on to the next n then its been a week before its gone. the dogs just been sick n all. determined to finish this post though!

the pain in my legs is getting better. can walk a bit further too. at least i can see light in the tunnel now. just cant wait to get to the end. im sorry youre feeling tired now. the body can only stand so much. give yourself a couple more weeks til you think about going back to work. enjoy the sunshine when you get it n enjoy a bit of normal life before you put yourself back into normality. work can wait. we have more funding for charly. he starts full time nursery mid august so we were hoping jon could get back to work soon. i need to be fit enough to drive then i should be able to cope but we are waiting til rads to make sure. i know i wont be able to go back to full time mum yet but with charly in nursery, i wont have to. i'll be able to rest n do some house work n get on with things.

just want to say my chemo nurse is lovely n gets right on trying to sort the perscription out but still takes couple of hours for pharmacy to make it up. its happened a few times n this time i did complain. not only is it not nice for me but it also puts them behind with their work n they are the ones dealing with all the patients n the grief it causes. i said to the manager,human error i understand but not this often, n at the end of the day you cant tell me that this medicine has worked n in my eyes you are taking time away from my children. time is important to us patients. n surely our consultants understand how poorly we feel, all they hear about is side affects, i havent got enough energy to hang around even if i wanted to.

im glad you had a nice bbq day. i even understand why you wanted to do the cooking but pinching your chair is a bit below the belt. i hope you start to feel better n better after a bit of rest. you are a trooper patrica. numbness is wearing off, soreness isnt. lovely to talk like this with you. keep in touch.

lots n lots of love leonie xxxxx

Hi Lee and Colly,

Just wondering how you are both getting on.Hope the treatments are not too bad and you are both coping.

Good luck to you both:)

Rose xxx

Hi Rose, I've been staying with my brother the last week as he always cheers me up and his house is always busy so it keeps my mind of the sickness, the nurses have changed my tablets now so I don't feel so sick and my appetite has come back, but the dreaded hairloss has begun and its coming out thick and fast, i still don't know what to do, cut it all off!!! or wait and see how thin it becomes I really don't know what to do for the best anyway I got back yesterday and this morning when I read the messages I was so sad to see both Lonie and Patricia having a bad time, I guess I look up to them so much and knowing that they are so much further ahead than I, I just wished it would get easier for them x

Well how are you and what's been happening in your life and how are you feeling, I haven't heard from Colly in a while so ..,COLLY! how ya doin girl xx

I have missed everyone and I'm glad to be back

lots of love lee xx

Hi Lee,

Good to hear from you again and glad you had a break.I have had 2 weeks off treatment as I was very breathless and worn out and by the end felt almost normal.havent had such a clear head for a long time.Back on it now but feel better for the break.We are waiting for our grandaughter to appear.She is due next weekend and is our sons first.We have a 3 year old grandson and a 7 month old grandaughter with our daughter so I have a very good reason to fight on !!!

It is awful to hear what the other girls are going through,especially when there are children as well.It is strange how different it is for everyone.Fingers crossed you get through with mimimum problems.

Love Rose xxx

Hi Rose, Lee, Leonie, Tricia and all the other guys and gals, thanks for asking after me, I'm doing grand, no problems at all, the first 4 days after chemo I feel a bit queazy and tired and I had a few mouth ulcers but after that I feel good. I still have quite a lot of hair tho has become very thhi, but i clip it up at back and put a little hairband on and it looks fine, there is def too much to shave it off and to be honest that would be my biggest hurdle if I had to do that. Lee glad your starting to get your appetite back and Rose a little baby how beautiful, leonie and patricia hope you guys are doing well. John has been away in Turkey all week and is back fri night, ive really missed him but time has flown by. Take care loasdsa love Col xxx

Glad you are not suffering too much,it makes such a change!Hope it continues all through.

Hope John brings you a fab prezzie ;)

Rose xxx

Glad you are not suffering too much,it makes such a change!Hope it continues all through.

Hope John brings you a fab prezzie ;)

Rose xxx