Hi to each and everyone of you don't you think that we are all quite amazing to be able to even be able to come on here and tell our stories I feel like I'v made so many new friends.

Anyway Leonie I'm so glad that you've managed to get some funding for nursery at least you know that Charley will be having a nice time whilst you gain some energy back. You really are having a rough time of it but how nie that you could get to the beach, I take it you live nearby to one. That must be lovely. As for having a looney doctor me too!! Just nice to be able to speak to someone who doesn't judge and you can say what you want about anything!!!!

Don't know bout you lot but I have all different feelings creep up on me when I least expect them. People who are close to you want to see you positive all the time and tell you how well you look and now i'v lost my hair how much it suits me but no matter what personally I just don't feel remotely like the same person. People say losing hair and putting weight on are least of worries but it does alter how I feel about myself and has affected my confidence.

Anyway each and everyone of you if I don't mention you by name doesn't mean I'm not acknowleding your messages but I do think about you all.We are all at different stages and will hopefully stick together through thick and thin.

Take care and hope you are all ok

love Lou

Well said Lou,

There are so many of us on this site now .Good luck and bless you all and the lovely people who care for us.

Rose xxx

Hi Sitesi,

How is Andy?Sorry you are suffering.Have you tried heat? a water bottle worked for me but is difficult if all the joints ache.hopefully it will be for a couple of days at a time.and then will wear off.You deserve to have a trouble free time.

Rose xxxxx

Hi Girls,

Well I have just finished my last radiotherpy treatment, so I am now sat here with a glass of something. Eight months ago when I was given my diagnosis and told that I would have to have an mastectomy, followed by chemo and radiotherapy, all I could see stretching ahead of me was unending hospital appointments and no glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel.

Well today I walked out into the bright light (metaphorically speaking, as it's been absolutely pouring down with rain all day and still we have a hose pipe ban and what magic words they are. It's not stopped raining since they imposed it.) and feel like a great weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

So what can I say girls, don't give up. It will pass, although you may not think so and that it feels like it's going on for ever, especially if you are suffering from some of those side effects.

What I need now is a holiday!

Patricia x

How wonderful for you - your treatment sounds the same as mine. I've only had 1 chemo so far but thats one less than this time last week. Have a wonderful holiday - roll on mine next year

Hi Lee,

Sorry to hear that you have been suffering with the side effects from the chemo. I found anything ginger helped me with nausea, ginger biscuits, ginger beer, ginger marmarlade. The last one helped me get those anti sickness pills down in the first three days. Are you having the neulasta injection, this causes a lot of the aches and pains, for me it felt like flu. Fortunately these symptoms only last for about a week at the most, the rest of the time it's okay. Just listen to your body and rest. I soon learnt that I was important, everything else could wait.

Patricia x

Dear Patricia

I'm shoo very happy you have come to the end of your treatments, its so nice to hear when people get through this, I have a packet of ginger nut biscuits at the side of the bed which I must admit really do help when I'm taking the tablets, I guess this is the worst week anyway I'm kind of expecting everything what with the white cell count being so low and the anxious wait for the hair to start falling out, I went to see the psychologist yesterday and found talking to someone about all this really helped(did a fair bit of crying though) anyway she made me realise that its ok to feel sad aslong as you remember this wont be forever, and hearing you have now finished has really cheered me up, I hope this wont be the last time we get to hear from you as you are now our inspiration.

Take care lots of love Lee xx

Hi Patricia, well done, congratulations and lots of love, you are such an inspiration and hopefully in another 6 months time this will be all over for myself too. I bet you cant wait for a holiday and thats actually a subject I was going to ask you girlies about. John is off to Turkey tonight with his little boy and I was supposed to e going to Spain with my friend for a girly week, anyway ive cancelled mine and wouldnt let john canel his as he works so hard and needs to take the wee guy away and spend time with him, anyway long story cut short, john not happy about leaving me and wants me to fly over at the weekend, but im apprehensive about infections etc, not felt as good this 2nd session round, sore mouth, bones, oh my period arrived (on time too), my hair is df falling out faster and more furiously Lee though i still have quite a bit but thin, i wear my little skip cap, anyway what do you guys think about going abroad during chemo? Col x

Hi Col,

To be honest I think I personally would be a bit dubious about going abroad during my chemo treatment. I am a scout leader and for the last six months I have taken time off from this and going to church with them once a month as the risk of sitting in close proximity to them (kids carry lots of infections) wasn't appealing and for me wasn't worth the risk of catching an infection. (Just realised that sentence makes me sound like I don't like kids, I love them but, of course, I couldn't eat a full one :D LOL). Anyway the same could be said for being sat around in the airport and on the plane. Then there could be the problem of insurance, this could be very expensive or you may not be able to get any as you are having treatment at the moment. Plus there could be delays and you may be late home for your next treatment. Also not wishing to scare you any further but after my recent experience of getting an infection and rushing to a hospital and being kept in for two days was frightening enough here in this country never mind abroad.

Personally I would ask myself if the risk was worth it and my answer would be no but that's your decision.

Patricia x

Hi Patricia

I totally agree with you, I've told him all the cons but he keeps coming up with pros lol.I will miss john but im sure it will fly by very quickly, i think he just feels bad about leaving me behind (even tho i wasnt going in the first place lol). My friend is going to come and stay for a few days and leave from work from mine etc and I have my girls and my mum and johns family too, think its just night time he's worried about me being alone plus he knows my hair is rapidly coming out and think he's worried that i'll get upset and that he wont be here to support me. Anyway we've just been to fuerteventura in march so its not as tho ive not had a holiday and we'll def get away at end of treatment for a week in the canaries. Its a wee shame, he's so sad about going and should be looking forward to it, im sure once he's there the 2 of them will have a laugh, lots of water sports and boys stuff that would just bore me anyway lol. Have a nice day, weather awful here.....again! need to get some food shopping so I dont starve whilst he's away. xx

Hi,

Andy continues to improve and is looking much healthier - we seem to be taking it it turns which is good as so far - touch wood - we have managed to be there for each other for the bad times. I can't stay ill forever so hopefully things will get a bit easier as time goes by.

Thanks for your concern

x

hi patrica

it was so nice to read your message. finally you are finished n looking forward to a normal life again. i really hope you get that holiday. you definately deserve it.

i over did it tuesday n am still paying for it. what did i do? went food shopping thats all but walked instead of using the electric trolly. had a nightmare day yesterday aswell for treatment. 3 hours turned into 8 all because doctor didnt sign my persciption! rads start 2nd august.

be back in touch when i feel bit better. again, well done patrica, you got through it all. enjoy that light now you are out of the tunnel.

lots of love leonie xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

hi patrica

it was so nice to read your message. finally you are finished n looking forward to a normal life again. i really hope you get that holiday. you definately deserve it.

i over did it tuesday n am still paying for it. what did i do? went food shopping thats all but walked instead of using the electric trolly. had a nightmare day yesterday aswell for treatment. 3 hours turned into 8 all because doctor didnt sign my persciption! rads start 2nd august.

be back in touch when i feel bit better. again, well done patrica, you got through it all. enjoy that light now you are out of the tunnel.

lots of love leonie xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi Leonie,

Sorry to hear that you have been having problems again. It really is true what they say, 'One day at a time' or in our case, 'One hour at a time'. Since I finished radiotherapy on Tuesday, I have been feeling more tired than normal, everything is an effort at the moment. I have had a couple of 'Can't be bothered' days. Now I do realise that the radiotherapy continues to work for two to three weeks after treatment finishes but I wonder if it's a case of my body has now gone 'Thank god for that, I can now rest!', because realistically I've no need to set the alarm to get up in the morning and the calender is empty and doesn't look like a spider has crawled all over it. I noticed a comment by someone on another post about how we perhaps expect to much from our bodies in this 24/7 world we live in, which reminded me of an article that makes very interesting reading.

www.cancercounselling.org.uk/.../WebResHarvey

We had a BBQ last weekend which to be honest, I didn't do a great deal. I was in charge of the food and being a cook I'm afraid won't let any man take charge of the barbie LOL, no way am I going to be ill with food poisioning after everything else I've been through :grin: By the end of the day I was knackered, my feet and back were killing me (every time I got myself a chair someone else sat on it, even my mum!) We did have a good time not the best weather as you will have seen on the news for the north west, although the sun did eventually shine in the afternoon and all the men/boys managed a game of football and I thought I was unfit! hahahahahaha

But that's my point, I look in the mirror and I look fine, everyone says how well I'm looking. BBQ? yeah easy, that's my job can do it standing on my head! No I can't, it nearly put my lights out! In some ways we don't realise just what all this treatment has put our bodies through. I was anticipating going back to work in September but to be honest the way I'm feeling at the moment I'm not to sure and this brings me back to 'One day at a time'.

Phew! now that I've finished therorising, how are you today? My doctor forgot to sign the perscription a couple of times but fortunately the nurses at the chemo unit were quick on the ball. How's that lad of yours doing?

Take care and don't forget, don't be hard on yourself.

Patricia x

hi patrica

felt much better today until i went dentist. needed to go for a while cos still having problems with my gum on one side. that was what put me in hospital during chemo. still infected cos i cant fight it off. so he gave that side a right cleaning n god does it hurt! he numbed it n all so god knows what it will feel like later. been hard to clean cos the pain in my mouth n ulcers but thankfully i dont have that problem anymore. hopefully i'll pick up soon n get rid of it for good.

liams fine now until someone kicks him in the leg, which has already happened of course. dylan did it by accident apparantly! he was dead brave having his 9 stitches out. nice scar which boys like but they did a good job. got dylan ill today with some bug. thing is, you know liam will get it n charly, hopefully i wont. but as soon as you nurse one kid youre on to the next n then its been a week before its gone. the dogs just been sick n all. determined to finish this post though!

the pain in my legs is getting better. can walk a bit further too. at least i can see light in the tunnel now. just cant wait to get to the end. im sorry youre feeling tired now. the body can only stand so much. give yourself a couple more weeks til you think about going back to work. enjoy the sunshine when you get it n enjoy a bit of normal life before you put yourself back into normality. work can wait. we have more funding for charly. he starts full time nursery mid august so we were hoping jon could get back to work soon. i need to be fit enough to drive then i should be able to cope but we are waiting til rads to make sure. i know i wont be able to go back to full time mum yet but with charly in nursery, i wont have to. i'll be able to rest n do some house work n get on with things.

just want to say my chemo nurse is lovely n gets right on trying to sort the perscription out but still takes couple of hours for pharmacy to make it up. its happened a few times n this time i did complain. not only is it not nice for me but it also puts them behind with their work n they are the ones dealing with all the patients n the grief it causes. i said to the manager,human error i understand but not this often, n at the end of the day you cant tell me that this medicine has worked n in my eyes you are taking time away from my children. time is important to us patients. n surely our consultants understand how poorly we feel, all they hear about is side affects, i havent got enough energy to hang around even if i wanted to.

im glad you had a nice bbq day. i even understand why you wanted to do the cooking but pinching your chair is a bit below the belt. i hope you start to feel better n better after a bit of rest. you are a trooper patrica. numbness is wearing off, soreness isnt. lovely to talk like this with you. keep in touch.

lots n lots of love leonie xxxxx

Hi Leonie,

Good luck for your rads tomorrow.I hope you have no side effects and sail through it all.How are you coping with the school hols?Are the legs OK?I really hope the side effects are wearing off at last.

Let us know how you get on.

Take care.

Rose xxxxx

hi girls

thanks for your support. im doing ok. are you meant to feel anything? my arm hurts more but sure its cos you have your arms up. other than that im expecting sore skin in about a week n any tiredness i'll probably put down to chemo anyway. body is struggling on but things are getting a bit easier n less painfull. i saw a lady i'd met before n she has the muscle pain n we were so glad because the other understood. its so hard to explain n i hadnt spoken to anyone else that has had the same problem. well 2 down n 21 to go.

we did a carboot today. mum took me for rads n jon set up with the kids. my brother was on another stall with his girls n my mums stuff but they didnt do well at all. the boys got about 50 quid (holiday spends) n we made about 90 quid (towards passports). so werent too bad for our first. bloody knackered now though!

so nice to see you colly n goodluck for tomorrow. hope you continue to feel well n had a lovely weekend with john after his holiday. n lee im so pleased you dont mind your new hair/head. good on you. still dont like mine though have got a little now. its like bum fluff mind! its lovely to hear you more up beat.

no baby news then rose. still time to be early though. are you still feeling better with thyroid med? sending you lots of love. you too patrica. are you having a nice rest?

little sis i dont know what chemo i had. its just one of many things ive forgot over the months. all i know is it can make you feel awfull but some only feel like that for a few days. unfortunately i felt like it all the time n walking was very difficult. most ladies swear by hot water bottle for sore bones. hope you have already started to feel better n good luck for the rest of your chemo. that end will come. ask anything you like n i'll try not to take too long to answer.

summer hols are going well so far. not too much argueing going on but the weather could be better. need to entertain the kids cost free this year which could be a challenge. probably will go to every different beach n just mark them off on the map. some gorgeous ones down here(cornwall). anyway i best go this has took hour n half. i cant remember what i want to write n then when i do i cant seem to get it out. so annoying!

love to you all leonie xxxxxxxxx

Hi Girls,

Glad to hear that we are all feeling more upbeat and happier since I was last on here, my word the time seems to be flying past now for me. Have only just over one week left on my present sick/fit note, will have to go and see doctor to get another one me thinks. Not at all ready to return to work.

Leonie, the radiotherapy doesn't hurt at all whilst you are having it. The tables aren't that comfortable and the awkward positition that you may have to put your arm in could be the reason for your pain. My skin is really sore at the moment, it's like really really bad sunburn. They do warn you at the end of your treatment that it continues to work for a couple of weeks and symptoms could get worse. Some people are fine and don't react and others it affects. Sods law it would be me!! Lovely nurse at the hospice sorted out some gel for me which I hope will help. Have been taking painkillers for last few days, ibuprofen and paracetamol, which is helping also. Other than that it's 'burn your bra and let it all hang free'!!!!!!!!!!!! Well the hair is growing and as anticipated it a lovely shade of grey. Have been trying to match it up to the Dulux chart to find a more exciting name rather than just grey, Which has not been easy as it's only about 1 or 2 mm long. How does Lavender Grey or Regency Grey sound. We are meant to to having a lady coming to the hospice soon to talk about hair products that we can and can't use on our new delicate hair, it should be very interesting.

I'm still feeling tired, need to find some motivation. Do have good days and days where I can't be bothered. I do have a long list of jobs that need to be done but just can't seem to find the inspiration to tackle them.

Col, Fantastic news!!! The end of that tunnel has just been brought that bit nearer. Lee is right , you do what you feel most comfortable with. In all this it is the only thing we have control over!

GI Lee, You sound so positive at the moment, it's great. So glad they are trying to get the sickness under control, haven't come across that method that you are using but hey if it works don't knock it!

Rose, sorry to hear that you were having problems and had to take a break from treatment. Any news on that baby?

Littlesis, Jump in anytime. Sorry I can't help you as I only had FEC. Seven weeks to go and counting, have you got your flags ready. Do you have to have any other treatment after?

Well feel at bit of motivation coming on so better grab it with both hands whilst I feel like it. Not that exciting just need to go and do some shopping.

Take care

Patricia x

Hi Patricia glad youve got a bit of motivation, not be long till your back to normal, dont rush back to work as you dont get any thanks for it, take your time and relax. Had my 3rd chemo today and feel crap, body tired but brain alert so cant sleep tho hopefully when i go to bed tonight i will sleep then. Felt very positive today when i went for chemo as this is the last FEC and i was told by my breast nurses it was the E that made hair/eye brows/lashes etc fall out, and that by 4th chemo the T that hair starts growing back. Anyway chemo nurse said today thats incorrect T does make hair fall out, great I thought, Im feeling low today I really find it hatd to cope with this hairloss and thought i was getting away with thinning only. Ive been doing so well and im very positive but today was a bit of a bummer. Hopefully by next week i'll be back to normal and stop moaning lol. Take care. Col x

Hi Colly,

Sorry you are feeling down.Chemo really does take its toll,it is a poison after all.Just go with the flow and take this time to snuggle up on the settee with a box of chocs .You are allowed to leave the housework and spoil yourself.

your photo is smashing,with or without hair you will still look fab.I always wanted straight hair as mine was wavy but it grew back straight and i want curls now !!!

Have a look on the Jokes ,they always make me giggle.

Take care of yourself.It will get better,honest.

Love to everyone else as well:love:

Rose xxxx

Hey there Colly

I'm so sorry your feeling low, but remember how you found out that you only now have 3 more sessions to go, thats a huge realisation and so positive, your hair as I've said will be a choice that you must make, I¿m still glad I took the plunge but I do have days where I feel ugly and un feminine but wig on and make-up done Im back to being me, so far no signs of eyelashes or eyebrows going but of course its still early days. This time there is no sickness with this new medication but I am so very tired and a little ratty!! but now I'm just on count down and this will not last forever. Patricia I'm so glad to hear from you and yes no rush for work, I bet your excited about your hair growing back and have you any ideas of what style you want to sport.

Well girls I'm getting a bit sleepy but love keeping intouch.

Take good care of yourselves

Lots of love Lee xx

Hi Lee,

So glad your feeling better, if you can call it that. I felt the nausea was one of the worst side effects for me. I could cope with being tired and aches and pains but the feeling sick all the time was the pits.

Yes, I am quite excited by the sight of hair desparately sprouting forth from my head, even if it is now quite the colour I'm used to. I have had short hair for years (not quite this short ) as my job is a cook/chef in a factory restaurant and it is so much easier and cooler for me. Only thing is now I keep looking in the mirror and convincing myself it's longer that when I looked 10 minutes ago. :D

I'm in no rush to return to work, my chest needs to be clear of the radiation burns and also I need to be a bit fitter as my job is very physical, even when I do return it will have to be gradual. I just don't feel I am ready to return yet, hope my GP sees it that way too.

Patricia x

Hi girls thanks for your lovely words, I do feel crap today and yest and prob will tomorrow then I'll be back to normal sun/mon as it's the same pattertn after chemo, I feel sick until I've finished taking the tablets. I also had a weird sensation wed nte after chemo of pins and needles in both my wrists, has anyone else encountered this? also last month my period came on time, not due until 16/8 but it came yest day after chemo, just to put the tin lid on things lol. I sent john out tonight with his mates for a drink as I feel as tho im being a right misery, he put up a bit of a fight but i said i wanted to watch the big bro eviction, think that was enough to make him go lol. Patricia dont you dare hurry back to work, I'm sure your doc will be very understanding, theres no point in rushing into anything especially ajob where your on your feet all day, Im a boring civil servant sitting at a desk all day and I'll definetly not be rushing back to work. Hopefully all going well my chemo will end 6/10 then a few weeks off then radio for a month, then a nice holiday then maybe back to work part time to see how it goes, as long as ive enough to pay my dd's then im happy. Lee hope your sicky feeling is gone, its horrid isnt it. Take care4 girls and have a good weekend. Love Col xx