Hi Richard12345,

No. You're not being stupid. It's completely natural and healthy to want to share our time here with a partner isn't it?!

I was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer in both lungs and liver in 2011. My husband then left.

On my own with all my children and a short prognosis - I thought that was it.

When people said "Give it time, you'll get over it" they appeared not to see the short prognosis I had at the time, and the distinct possibility that I wouldn't have the time I needed to get over it!

I spent a while learning to "love myself again". My daughter told me that I had to love myself before anyone else would. (wise words from a teenager).

I met a few people after talking online for a very long time. It was a bit of an adventure and I kept safe as my grown up children were always on my case wanting to know where I was! I was always honest about the cancer. And I made several great friends. 

Then, I met my best friend and present husband. On our first date, when we discovered we had so much in common, I told him if we got on that I "might only be a temporary girlfriend". He was fairly shocked, but appreciated the honesty I think.

We're still together today. And he's still my best friend. My profile picture on here was taken at our wedding.

I think my daughter's words were crucial for me. I ceased looking for love and began to rediscover the things that make me happy. Once I relaxed and became myself again, took care of myself too, happiness seemed to follow me.

Living with uncertainty, treatment & past chemo affects every day. And yes it's great to still be here!

Nobody knows what's round the corner. I thought it was all over for me back then. I was 44. I'm now 59 and happier today than I could have ever imagined. I still worry and cry at every scan. But the cancer hasn't got me yet and it's not going to get me today, so I just must get on and live it.

I hope some of this is helpful to you. 

Sending you huge best wishes, with a sprinkle of good luck,

Mare