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Struggling with my Mental Health - was diagnosed with secondary breast cancer 18 months ago

Charmers
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HI I have been diagnose with Secondary breast cancer stage 4, mets in sternum 18 months ago.  I am still working however I am finding the anxiety & depression I have is getting worse as time goes on.  I am really stressed waiting for scan results and always think the worst.  I am srtruggling to talk to my husband as he is going through this as well in a sense of not knowing and that he can't do anything about how I feel.  I find it difficult to speak to him about it because it increases how worry.  Have any of this community linked into any counselling or speaking to someone that can help with this?

Thanks in advance

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    Hi Charmers,  I know how you feel,  I have just been diagnosed with secondary breast cancer with mets in spine and pelvis.  I am only seeing the oncologist tomorrow for the first time.  I want to start treatment as soon as possible to stop it spreading.  May I ask what treatment you are having.  I had lobular breast cancer twelve years ago with surgery, chemo and radiotherapy.  It is hard to talk to my husband as I dont want to upset him.

    Love Lee x

  • Hello, Charmers.
    I’m sorry to hear about what you’re going through.
    Anxiety and depression can be tough to manage, and it’s even harder when you feel like you can’t fully share your worries with your husband because you don’t want to add to his stress. Reaching out, like you’ve done here, is such a brave and positive step.
    It sounds like talking to someone outside of your immediate circle could help. A resource like the Counselling Directory might be worth exploring. It’s designed to help people find qualified therapists in their area, including those experienced in supporting people with cancer-related anxiety and emotional challenges. They could offer you a safe and neutral space to process everything you’re feeling.
    Another great option is Maggie’s Centres, which provide free emotional and practical support for people living with cancer, as well as their families. They have a variety of support options, including one-on-one sessions and group activities, where you can connect with others who understand what you’re going through.
    Both of these resources can offer tools and support to help ease the weight of everything you’re carrying right now. And please know that this community is here for you, too, whenever you need to share or talk, we’re ready to listen.
    With best wishes,
    Renata, Cancer Chat Moderator
  • Offline

    Hi , 

    Ive also struggled with my diagnosis , a different type of cancer , but an aggressive one . I’ve had horrible anxiety, low mood and basically feeling that there’s no hope for me . 
    So I went to GP and she’s started me on an SSRI which will help with  mood and anxiety , just on them a few days but hoping they’ll help . 

    I feel relieved even having just having had  the  chat with GP and doing something proactive .. 

    Take care x 

  • Offline in reply to Eveone

    Sorry to hear about your diagnosis and the mental affects of this. Hopefully I can give you some hope. 
    I have had secondary breast cancer for 9 years (brain tumour, liver tumour, tumour in chest cavity and also in my bones and hips). 

    it hasn’t been without it’s challenges but I have taken every treatment that was offered me at my pace. Holding back on second line of treatment for a while. 
    I’m still having a good life and focus on the positives. 
    I’m not saying I don’t get low because I do and that’s normal. 
    There are lots of groups online or in person.  You could observe from the side lines b4 jumping in. It doesn’t have to be deep just enough for a challenge / change and chance to do something different and maybe this will wake up different feelings. 
    sending lots of love xxx

  • Offline in reply to leelaloo

    Hi Lee Sorry I missed this message... I am on Ribociclib, Letrazole & Denosumab currently and just been told I have complete metabolic response so tumour had died and I am NED at moment which is really good.  I had first breast cancer in 2019 and had mastectomy and radiotherapy and Tamoxifen but refused chemo at the time.  What line of treatment have they put you on? xx

  • Offline in reply to Moderator Renata

    Hi  Thank you so much for the information I will reach out to both and go from there xx

  • Offline in reply to Charmers

    Hi Charmers,  I had lobular grade 3 breast cancer in 2012 and I had lumpectomy, chemo and radio therapy and was on tamoxifen for 2 years and then Letrazole for 3 years and then stopped.  I found out in September 2024 that it had come back with mets in spine, pelvis and ribs ( still waiting on results for the full body scan).  I am current on Ribociclib, Exemestane (as did not get on with Letrazole) and Denosumab so sounds like your treament.  Sorry what does NED mean?  I am new to this.  Good news some people have been able to live with this disease for years.  Lee x

  • Offline in reply to Eveone

    HI Yes I totally appreciate where you are coming from....  what is SSRI sorry never heard of it and interested to know how it is working?

    xx

  • Offline in reply to LuckyLoo3

    HI Thanks for responding on this I think it is fantastic to hear stories where people like yourself have been 9 years and more, it really helps the likes of me who are not quite 2 years in yet and shows there is hope so thank you for that xx

  • Offline in reply to leelaloo

    HI Yes Meds are very similar, NED mean No Evidence of disease in my body... or NEAD No evidence of active disease is what it should be as we all have it in our body still in blood stream even though they can't see anything on scan.

    If you are on Facebook then join the Secondrary Breast Cancer Group, there are hundreds of women on there, they have mets in different places and are on different treatments, and because they all share side effects etc it is really helpful knowing you are not the only one in that position.  but it is really uplifting when you see that some women have been NEAD for 12 years and more so gives you a lot of hope.

    Good luck on the results my fingers are crossed for you xx

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