Welcome to Cancer Chat, Marty666, although I'm sorry to hear about the reason that brings you here.

It's completely understandable to feel overwhelmed and devastated when faced with such challenging information, as many here can tell you, the emotional toll of a cancer diagnosis and its implications can be incredibly heavy.

Remember, while the news may feel overwhelming right now, it's important to take things one step at a time. Focus on what you can control, whether it's seeking further information from your medical team, exploring treatment options, or finding ways to cope with the emotional impact.

While I do hope you'll meet others here who can chat with you about what you're going through, there are a few websites that might help you cope, one of them that comes to mind, Maggie’s  provides free expert care and support in centres across the UK and online. Our nurses too, would be happy to chat with you Monday - Friday between 9a.m - 5p.m on this freephone 0808 800 4040.

I hope this helps a little.

With best wishes,

Renata, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi Marty666 this news is huge and has an ongoing impact on you - and family and friends. It's OK to rant.

I have Propanalol for when I feel overwhelmed - I don't need it every day. Also ask GP or Oncologist about therapeutic support as talking to someone who is trained in psychotherapy also helps. Writing things down in a journal or diary helps to get thoughts out of your head.

I know it's easier said than done but do try to be positive. So, yes the cancer is incurable BUT it is treatable AND you can live with it.

Give yourself whatever you need to adjust to this new situation - I find it a weird situation and try to just live life taking one day at a time, sometimes an hour at a time, sometimes a few minutes at a time.

Overall, look after yourself.

Hiya Marty666.  It's a huge shock isn't it?  To be told that your condition is not curable.  Back in November 2022, I was told that I had 'about a year to live'.  However, I am still here.  You have every right to rant.  As you say, seeing it in black and white makes your world fall out.  I know this is easier said than done, but try to remain positive.  With treatment you can live with this monster called cancer.  You will experience a whole range of feelings and emotions.  It's all perfectly natural and normal.  I take life one day at a time.  Sometimes I have good days, and sometimes I have bad days.  You will find the strength to get through this, you really will.  In fact, I never realised how strong I was until I was given the news that I was terminal.  Somehow you find a strength that you never knew you had.  Good luck mate, and hang in there.  

Many thanks for your words. I am at this moment having trouble coping with the news.Now found out I get the results of a full body scan in a couple of weeks and will find out if it has spread elsewhere.

It seems to me lately that just when you think you are winning something comes along to take you down again.

One day at a time

Best wishes to you 

You're welcome mate, and if there are any other questions you have, please feel free to ask,  and likewise, best wishes to you. 

Hi again Marty666 - Macmillan have access to free counselling with BUPA and it can be accessed quite quickly. It might help you https://www.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-information-and-support/get-help/emotional-help/bupa-counselling-and-emotional-well-being-support

I find guided meditations (free on YouTube) helpful as it encourages you to tune into what is being said and it also means you are resting too.

Best wishes for your scan results. I agree with Blue-girl - sometimes it's not even in my thoughts and sometimes it's all I can think about. Some days are OK, some not. My worst thing is thinking about not being here for my daughters and my brother, who is my rock and comes to all my appointments with me.

Take care, Gwen 

My heart and kindest thoughts go out to you. I'm waiting to have a biopsy done soon on the10th of May on my uluva at the back of my throat, there's a bump/small round pink flesh coloured thing there. I really hope it's what I think it is. Ps I hope didn't mind me replying, sorry it's not perfect I'm all over the place at the moment. 

Hi Marty666, so sorry to hear about your terrible news,  I have had breast cancer twice before 2012 then 2019 and thought I'd had preventative Mastectomy only to find a new lump in December last year and that its treatable but not curable as its metastatic this time!, I still can't get my head around it all,  had 2 counselling sessions with macmillan but not really helped I think it's going to be a time thing with regards to accepting the diagnosis,  I still want to wake up and it all be just a bad dream..hang in there you're not on your own with how you feel x

Hi, many thanks for your reply and to all others who have responded. I don't think I have come to terms with it but seem to have more better days then bad ones at this moment.I have stopped asking the question what have I done to deserve this, so I count that has progress.

The other thing that has started worrying me is the results of the full body scan which are due shortly.  Everytime I have an ache or pain now ,I start thinking the worse.  Its a wonder I haven't  completely lost it at this moment in time.

I wish you all the very best of luck