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Stage IV colon cancer

Catz
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I was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer in December 2023. It has metastasized and gone to my liver. I had a huge surgery recently that removed part of my colon and a lot more as it breached the wall and spreaded. I have a genetic mutation that makes the cancer quite agressive. I will be starting chemotherapy soon. Before this shocking diagnosis I was well and enjoying my life. Then abdominal pains started all of a sudden, I could not eat anything solid and all moved very very fast with tests, surgery... It feels like someone pulled the handbrake and stopped my life suddenly. I have no family around. My partner has been extremely supporting, but I can't help feeling like an absolute burden on him, as he stopped everything he was doing to concentrate on supporting me. He supports me emotionally,  does endless research, makes sure I eat as healthy as possible and goes with me to every appointment. I am extremely grateful, but also feel guilty as I feel dependent, and all this is changing my relationship.

I would be grateful for any advice if you went through similar. I feel lost in the middle of all....

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    Hi Catz. Even though the situation was the same, suddenness of it all happening at once and unexpectedly, I was diagnosed slightly different with stage 3 colo-rectal cancer, spread to lymph nodes.

    I feel exactly the same sometimes but try to blame the 'man'opause for it. A burden on everyone that wants to help, especially my wife who does EVERYTHING! Cooks, cleans, works full time, looks after our children while I fall asleep, verbal punchbag when the days get bad and she doesn't give me the support I necessarily want but absolutely need.

    She constantly reminds me how if the roles were reversed then I would do exactly the same for her so why sweat the small stuff and gather strength whenever possible to fully enjoy the good days as a family.

    They find the strength to help as much as they do because they love us as much as we love them. Would you do the same for your partner if they had your diagnosis instead? Sometimes thinking like that encourages you to let them be the support because they want to be your rock.

  • Offline in reply to Riley_86

    Hi Riley

    Thank you for your reply. Sorry to hear about your diagnose too and that you are still going through the process. 

    The love and support from my partner has been my anchor. I know I would do exactly the same for him, and I am grateful that he is not experiencing this pain in the sense of the disease itself. But it is not easy to see someone you love going through all the emotional suffering all the same. 

    He' s been here for me every step of the way, and I can say, if one thing I have learned is that I didn't really know or was not fully aware of the depts and meaning of what we call 'love'. 

    Best regards

    Catz

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  • Offline in reply to Riley_86

    Hi Riley

    Thank you for your reply. Sorry to hear about your diagnose too and that you are still going through the process. 

    The love and support from my partner has been my anchor. I know I would do exactly the same for him, and I am grateful that he is not experiencing this pain in the sense of the disease itself. But it is not easy to see someone you love going through all the emotional suffering all the same. 

    He' s been here for me every step of the way, and I can say, if one thing I have learned is that I didn't really know or was not fully aware of the depts and meaning of what we call 'love'. 

    Best regards

    Catz

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