Hi Jayjay, I know exactly how you feel - it’s difficult to feel positive when all you can see are hurdles! 
I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in 2020 and whilst I’m currently on chemo for my 2nd recurrence, I’m still here and most of the time I carry on as normal. 
That doesn’t mean that I don’t grieve for the life I thought I would have (though to be honest, before I was diagnosed I took my good health for granted and never thought I would get cancer!) but it has made me appreciate what I’ve got now and to make the most of each day. Reading that back, I probably sound a bit preachy and I don’t mean to be! You will have good days and bad days but as time goes by I think your confidence will return. I had nearly 2 years before my 1st recurrence and ovarian cancer is notoriously sneaky! 
I’ll leave you on a positive note, my sister had breast cancer 15 years ago and has never had a recurrence so I hope that helps boost your mood a little. Take care xx

Thanks for your reply. I'm so glad your sister is doing well. You sound like a very positive lady. 

Thanks for your reply. I'm so glad your sister is doing well. You sound like a very positive lady.