Hi,

I read your post and couldn't pass by without saying that I am thinking of you anf your family. I can understand that you are really between a rock and a hard place, trying to balance supporting your wife and son, whilst being there for your daughter. I am sure that her Granny will be spoiling her under the circumstances and, that your daughter will be happy, so long as you phone her every day and keeping in touch.

Unfortunately, if you spread yourself too thin on the ground at times like this, you will be the one to fall apart. Try to take things one day or even an hour at a time. Don't look too far in to the future, as this is too much to bear. Talk things through with your wife and see what she feels you should do with your daughter. I expect that she needs you at the hospital and, that you would never forgive yourself if something happened when you were away from the hospital.

It sometimes takes a life-shattering occurrence like this for us to find how strong we really are. You are stronger than you think and, provided that you can both support one another and keep communication channels open, you will come through this.

I sincerely hope that the chemo helps your son and wish you both the strength that you need to see this heart-breaking situation through.

Please keep in touch. We are always here for you and your wife.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

wow |!! you are doing so well , i have not enough energy to  do such things . Explain you need time for work or you will burn out . ANOTHER POTENTIAL CASUALTY . explain you still love everyone but someone needs to keep the home fire burning  - and that person is you . good luck suffererer, Michael

Hi there ... so so sorry your going through this heartbraking time at the moment.... this is cancer at it's crulest ...

My daughter in law and son were in your posistion ... through covid ... and god knows how they did it but they did ... one was with their daughter in a London cancer hospital... while the other stayed home, making the two other little ones life as normal as possible  ... on days they couldn't go, they took the little ones 6 and 9 out on "normal" days to have fun ... while letting them know their sister was very poorly .. 

They used gentle honesty with them .. explaining about hair loss .. and saying their big sis on days home would be very tired ... this gentle honesty really worked ... on those nights when they were alone ... I know they shared tears and held each other and admitted it was scary ... and listened to each other ... knowing my son couldn't take the pain away and couldn't make it all better... but he could try and hold everyone's hand in sharing feelings ...

It's one of ... no it was the hardest time of our lives ... but l think it's because that's what being a parent is .. it's part of the deal of having our kids .. we find that strength from somewhere deep inside ... that cord that gave them life is still there ... just invisible... I know in sharing feelings and BOTH holding on together... they are stronger then ever ... because when one takes the strain ... it's overwhelming... 

So reach out to anyone ... make time for the other little one that needs you both too .. ask nanny and grandad if there to make things normal for that child as much as possible... while letting them know it's o.k to cry or feel upset to ... sending you a big vertual hug.... Chrissie x x