So sorry about your diagnosis 

firstly mostly this is not a death sentence 

I think we all remember the first few days 

as being herendus it really is like a bad dream 

your mind races thoughts of treatment and surgery will keep you awake 

try to keep off the internet go to your gp

and get some medication to get you through

the next few weeks 

I was glad of some beta blockers to stop my heart beating out of my chest 

people handle it in different ways I kept it to myself until I knew what I was dealing with

i couldn't stand being pitied people say oh your so strong that is not the case 

faced with this you don't have a choice 

you just have to try to buckle up and take the bumpy ride 

I was very lucky I had a mastectomy and reconstruction 3 years ago and didn't have any other treatment 

the waiting for results is torture 

I haven't had one days illness in all of this 

get as much information as you can ask the questions and try to stay focused and positive 

I used some mindfulness apps which helped a lot it brings you back to a calm place 

this forum will help as we all understand 

please ask if you need any advise 

x

Thank you so much x 

Im sorry to hear you've been through the ordeal and are no doubt still living with it. I've chosen to tell close people, but in a way it hasn't really helped/been a relief as I still feel locked inside my own situation. it's still such a shock. But to know I'm by no means alone in having experienced this, is a massive help.

beta blockers sound like a really good idea, thank you. I am certainly experiencing panic at the mo. I'll certainly try mindfulness too. 
I feel like I've had a physical response to the shock. I'm certain that the joint pain and backache I've been experiencing for months is now secondary bone cancer, but I wondered if feeling achy and tired is just to be expected with breast cancer and doesn't have to signal the worst. Grateful for your experiences and advice with any of this?
thank you again for taking the time to get in touch 

 

Hi there and welcome ...

My pad is playing up, so I'll make this shortlist..

I came on here like you in the early scary days, when I thought my grade 3 meant I was a gonna .. about 7 others started at the same time .. all different stages and treatments but we held on together, holding each other up on the bad days, and even having a giggle on the good ones ... yes they do come along ..

We all got our vertual boxing gloves on .. got in the ring ready to kick it's ***... well 15 months down the line wer all still here .. and one lass has just had a baby boy... most the others .. gone back to their new "normal" life post cancer ... 

So hold on in there .. when your ready,  put those boxing gloves on and join us all in the ring.... wer all there to help you kick it's *** ... sending you a vertual hug... Chrissie xx

Wow. Thank you Chrissie. That's really given me hope. 
im dreading what's coming, but I hope some courage I never knew I had will well up from somewhere rather than lots of snot and crying. What's your situation now? 

Your welcome ..

Lots of us on here .. well mostly newer ones now ..  [@Marlyn]‍ has just gone through most of her treatment ... hopefully she'll pick this up .. she's amazing ...

Must say .  At first I shut myself away from everyone ..for two days .. yelled / cussed  / cryed till nothing was left .. then I was ready to fight .. the biggest lesson I've learned now is , if your having a bad day .. have it , give in ... if you feel scared .. tell yourself it's o.k to feel scared .. even superwoman would ... and wer only human ...  

I found in letting those feelings well and truly out, then I could get back up and back in the ring ... if we hold them in and try to "be strong" it just all builds up inside , ready to explode ... and say yes I'm angry at cancer .. we all are .. I've got a tee shirt that says cancer touched my boobs so I kicked it's ***...  it's not about winning or losing... it's about not letting it change that person you were .. it's about looking it in the eye, and telling cancer your up for the fight .. yea it will have days it knocks you down, we all get them ..

But cancer wants us to lay down and never get up... don't let it .. it's all about balance ... emotions out , then courage to fight another day ... I'd even written my  will and wrote letters thinking the worse .. they are all tucked safely away for a while yet ... here anytime you want a chat ...

Chrissie xx

Hi

i was diagnosed 3 weeks ago and felt exactly the same. Your life changes all of a sudden and you become a member of a club you don't want to be in. You think all sorts and your emotions are all over the place. The first few weeks are the worst whilst you wait for tests and scans. You think the worst, that's normal however normal having cancer is. 
Once you get all your results you will feel more in control. You will know what you are facing. I've just had my CT scan results and the relief to know it hadn't spread was tremendous and took

some of the panic away. Yes it's still frightening as it's the unknown but once you know what your treatment plan is, you will feel more in control. What you are going through I guess we have all been there. I have 6 children and thought the same as you as we think the worst. That's natural. Just come on here for support. We can all be strong together. 
Hugs

xx

Thanks very much. Good news for you back from the CT Louie604 x

Just emerged from that myself. It's a weird world of strange isn't it. 

I took a couple of betablockers before the MRI bit as I think I'd have panicked otherwise, so thank you Joanieb and Chrissie for your perfectly timed advice. I acted like a total fool and threw my wedding ring out of the machine at the last minute worried it would cause problems (I've a lot to learn) Bless the patient radiologist who eventually found it after we'd been down on our hands and knees looking! 

im so grateful and relieved to have found somewhere to come where people understand. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. xx

Hello love,

thanks [@Chriss]‍  for tagging me.

oh boy, when you first hear those horrible words..." yes..it's cancer"  I actually had a weird outer body feeling, like she wasn't aiming the conversation at me...who? Me? Surely not!!!

You will get through this...some days your world will feel like it's collapsing, other days you'll be angry but defiant, the range of human emotions is staggering....

Im through all the gruelling treatments now, just on meds for the foreseeable. This forum was a god send! There's nothing like talking to people who have or are walking the same path....we get each other....and that helps! 

Dont look too far a head, just take things daily as they pop up, get your tick list going...and trust the specialists, believe me when I say you'll be far more settled when your on your treatment plan ( whatever that may entail)

️ ️ ️ ️ 

Thank you [@Marlyn]‍ . (Just worked out about tagging) It's just lovely of you to take the time to make contact with someone at the start of all this. Thank you [@Chriss]‍ Wishing you all the best this side of your gruelling treatments. Those hounds in your pic look like a good source of support and distraction!  

Although I've been feeling tired and low for a while now, it was a punch in the guts to get the news. I've been crawling about like I've already given up since yesterday and am aching all over. 

Did anyone else just feel really sick suddenly once they got the news? I want to just run and run, but I already feel like that level of physical activity has gone forever (not that I'm a runner, just feeling desperate not to lose the ability to be physically active). Is it normal to feel so defeated already and physically incapable - relative to how you were before? 
Xx