Ladies I'm trying desperately to catch up but I've just scanned through to see what's happening with you Davia. I'm sorry you are going through this, it's grossly unfair and utterly ***! In one of my fb pages a couple of people have had phone consultations changed to in-person and some people are suggesting they're just moving back to doing everything in-person now. I have everything crossed for you, sending love and strength x

Hi ladies,

I'm such a numpty, i had a long message typed to you all and then clicked on something i shouldn't off and lost my waffle, urghhh!  Cant blame the app this time as didn't freeze, just my sillyness. grrrrr.

Anyways, thanks so much for your reply Karen and Kebbs, and Kebbs welcome to our group.  yeah not easy what we are going through, something i've realised that there will be a lot of ups and downs still. i was so numb in the beginning and now its all so raw and i feel everything around me, on tv, social media.  Sometimes i just need to switch off and like youve said walking really helps.

Aww Davia, i was wondering how you are as you have been quiet. Strangely enough i saw the post on FB and was thinking gosh, this sounds just like what Davia had went through.  Think i sent you a virtual hug from your post in May.  I'm sorry you are going through this now, i will be thinking of you on Monday and have my fingers crossed its not what we think.  Just remember that quote "Focussing on the fear is not going to change the outcome"  We are all here for you and sending big hugs.  Hope you can get out for a walk this weekend and clear your head.  Been a bit miffy here today lets hope tomorrow the sun is out again!

Karen, thanks for the explanation, so much on your plate to deal with, just doesn't seem fair with all these delays to your treatment. I guess they are still only doing the essential opps at the mo.  I know with my opp they were not doing reconstuctions at the time and only done later. Will be thinking of you on the 09th June, big hugs :)

Hair! Oh gosh mine is fluffy still tad patchy at the back and erm grey!  No more blonde locks.  I look more like my dad every day esp without make up haha!

Claire, hope you are doing ok with your little one.  Cant be easy being away from your partner, hope you managing. 

Let me  quckly click send before i loose this again!

Big hugs all around xxx

Mich I think I saw the same post as you, in fact I wrote a message thinking it was Davia then realised it wasn't!

Great minds eh!  Davia you should be an under cover agent ;)

Mitch and Claire 

Thank you for your posts, I do think of that quote a lot mitch, focusing on the fear won't change it, that is very true x 

Clair that is me on Facebook TNBC site, my name is Christine, but when I joined this group every name I used was already in use lol so I used my husbands name and mine came up with Davia. Hope your doing well Claire, love to you both, keep well xxx

Hi  Davia,

I really believe in the power of positive thinking and please try and be strong and just keep as busy as possible that's what Ive been doing to try and distract my thoughts from my results on Tuesday.

I dont know about you but whenever I set foot in the hospital everything comes flooding back to when I was diagnosed and I'm overcome with emotion.

Is someone able to go with you on Monday? please dont think of going alone as you need support.

I'm really hoping it's not what you think it is and try not to think this way until you know what's what.

I will be thinking of you on Monday and have everything crossed for you. If you need to take diazepam up until your appointment I'm sure it wont do you any harm and it will help take the edge of all that anxiety you are feeling as the waiting is just the worst I know.

Take care Davia and be strong

Big hugs

Karyn xxxx 

Thanks Davia,

The flashbacks are terrible I know and all to do with our post traumatic stress most definitely.

I really dont think some of these oncologists and doctors realise what we go through sometimes and there is a real lack of support I feel once your treatment has finished and a feeling of abandonment so I'm grateful to have this forum where we all know what it's like going through this journey and can relate to one anothers experiences.

I'm so glad your hubby is coming with you as it's never nice going alone.

Yes Mich is so right focussing on the fear wont change things and are mindset is so important there. I know because I am constantly having to practice Cognitive behavioral therapy and turning negative thoughts into positive ones to get through uncomfortable moments.

My follow up appointment for my results in 1.30pm on Tuesday.

Big hugs

Karyn xxx

Ah it was actually another lady I was thinking of that has found something in her arm (I didn't realise it was her arm at first hence the confusion) but now I've found you x

Hiya Mich,

Hopefully your rad session on Monday will be a bit better...thankfully i dont have to do the breath holding thing as my rads are to the chest wall. My times varied a bit last week too...it doesnt affect me really though as i'm working from home at the moment and can just nip out to the hospital as and when...i had 7.30am on thursday and 6.30pm on friday lol, they're doing extended hours as one machine is out of use presently.

I think we all have gloomy thoughts...we try to push them to the back of our minds but it's very difficult sometimes and they can just be triggered by a simple things. I find that lately I cant watch any TV appeal adverts without crying - whether it be wateraid or those poor donkeys - i just seem to get very emotional about them... I'm going to follow my daughter and just start watching people falling over on Youtube...

You are so kind Mich, and so re-assuring and helpful to everyone, your husband is privileged to have you and i'm sure he knows that too.

Claire, Davia, Karyn, Linda, Suebea, Jan and Sacha, and Kebb (apologies if i've missed anyone)  - Hope you have all had a nice weekend

Love to all xxxxx

Carla