Hi Sue, thanks for reply, 

I get results Monday, I asked my oncologist how it would be treated IF it has come back, she said chemo. Sorry I didn't make it clear. 

Sue your hair will thicken up, the first hair growth I had after chemo was thin and fluffy but I now have what I call, proper hair growing through. The hair on my body has gone mad, I have never shaved so much lol I even have hair on my toes  

Sending hugs

Hi Kebbs,

I think the boosters were given to the tumour bed of the primary tumour to reduce the risk of recurrence further and that's why I had 5 boosters on top of the standard 15.

It could be because I'm a Brca 1 carrier which means risk of a further tumour is higher until I have my double mastectomy done which I'm only hoping wont be delayed but no definite date for it yet.

Maybe I suffered so badly from skin breaking down weeks after my radiotherapy was because of the boosters I had so my radiotherapist said.

I hope I have managed to reassure you in some way.

Take care

Karyn xx

Hi Davia,

I have everything crossed for you, Monday is not too long to wait but I know it must be agony for you.

My hair is really thick on top and no bald bits but I haven't had my hair cut for a year and the length doesn't seem to grow.

Sending love

Xxx

Hiya Mich

Sorry to hear the trouble you've been having with your radiotherapy and hope you are feeling better today.

Just think you will soon be all done and then hopefully can start to relax abit more.

I think your hormones are just all over the place with what you've been through with treatment and its bound to affect your mood and self esteem, on some days I feel very low and just dont want to face anything and its hard just to pull myself together but I always feel better when I get out for a walk and clear my head.

This Covid pandemic has certainly not helped with anything in that sense.

Regarding my surgeries because I'm Brca 1 it means my risk of ovarian cancer is increased as well as a further breast tumour risk.

My mum died of ovarian cancer in her early 50s and it has always been a fear of mine.

My genetics counsellor advised me to do the ovarian salpingo  oophorectomy first because of the lack of reliable screening for this disease.

Furthermore because I'm having double mastectomy and reconstruction together it will be four months recovery until I could have the ovarian surgery which may take it into next year which I really can't cope with.

Hope you're getting plenty of rest and have something nice planned for the weekend even though the weather is very uninspiring today.

Take care

Karyn xxxx

Hi Sue

Yes 3 more days till I get my results and I've not been coping at all well recently. It was 4am that I eventually got to sleep and it was almost light at that time with the birds tweeting.

I'm feeling shattered now as a consequence but I do find nights hard but reluctant to take my sleeping tablets as have tried them a few times before and they leave me feeling very groggy the following day.

The delays with my surgery has come as another blow and I'm finding it hard to thing that my surgeries will get done anytime soon with the backlogs being caused by all the Covid.

You're bound to worry about reoccurrence as we all do and all my gp tells me is to stop worrying about things I can't control but it's not easy!

I think you just have to be aware of any concerns you have and if in any doubt consult your breast nurse.

I hope you are sleeping  better now Sue

Take care & enjoy the rest of your weekend with lots of wine flowing.

Take care 

Be strong 

Karyn  xxxx

Hi Davia

So sorry you have found yourself in a dark place again, me too so can fully relate to how you must be feeling.

It's so hard to pick yourself up again after every little setback!

I cried myself to sleep last night which was down mainly due to this pandemic time and the prospect of surgeries getting delayed even further and having this cloud hanging over my head for a while. It's so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel sometimes.

It must have bought back some real bad memories for you having to go back to the hospital and having biopsies done.

When will the results come back from these.

I pray it's nothing and that you dont have to go down  that route again.

Please dont even think the worst until you know what's what as you will just get yourself very down.

Keep focused on things you enjoy and distract yourself as much as you can and have things to look forward to if possible.

Keep as busy as you can buy dont exhaust yourself and rest if you need to.

Dont let this beat you Davia and be strong.

I hope your sister is still being a tower of strength.

Get out for some fresh air if you can.

Take care

Karyn xxxx

Yes I guess the extra sessions explain the skin breakdown. It must have been horrible A dear friend of mine has the gene you speak off. She had a double mastectomy about 3 years age and is flourishing!!! 

I will request you as a friend as that might be easier to stay in touch?? That ok??

K x x 

Hi Kebb,

That's encouraging news about your friend and so glad shes doing well, its positive stories like that that keep me going.

Sure no problem about the friend request, happy to accept.

Karyn xx

Hi Karyn 

Thanks for reply, I understand how your feeling regarding this *** virus, it's as if everything else has taken a back seat and that's very unsettling, I really hope you operation date isn't delayed again, it's torture isn't it, bless you

I get results Monday 2:30, to be honest I'm expecting them to say its come back, I was supposed to have phone call but was told surgeon wants to see me in clinic! I will be taking diazapam before I go

It really did bring bad memories back, it is near on exactly a year to the date I got my very first diagnosis , but I'm trying to be posative and live in the moment, take it each day at a time,

I pray your op isn't delayed anymore, sending BIG HUGS