Hi Aubrie,

I too have only just discovered this site, during my insomnia and angst. Not great with technology so might mess up.

So sorry to hear all you have been through. Don’t despair. It is early days for you yet. This awful time will become less of a sting and the sun will begin to shine again. My husband passed away some years ago now and I felt I could never smile again. But I did. Time really is a great healer.The scars on my heart remain, at times very tender, but the heart keeps on pumping away! 

And now my son, who suffers from multiple allergies, eczema, Misophonia and is autistic, has had cancer removed with a thyroidectomy, and may have to have radioactive iodine and I was trying to find out what that meant. Och! What difficult times these are, but we shall get through them. 

But I really feel for you. Loneliness can be a tough road to travel. I think it would be wise to see your doctor to get checked over. Our physical and emotional health are connected so it might be that you are a bit run down with everything you have been through. Or they might suggest counselling...just someone to talk to.

I am also thinking maybe try to join some activity..evening classes or pottery.. mountaineering...yikes... I don’t think these would work for me though. Sometimes listening to music helps. Baking cakes? You must have given up much to look after your parents, but now it’s time to concentrate on rebuilding your life..... One thing strikes me..you sound like a very loving, caring person. There is a desperate need for people like you in this tough old world we live in. 

I am one of Jehovah’s Witnesses. I truly believe there is going to be a resurrection when those who have passed return to us. I am so looking forward to the hugs! Chat to us if you meet us, or visit a Kingdom Hall..no collection is taken. Our website JW.org has much information that will comfort.

What weather we are having! And how awful for all those people experiencing power cuts yesterday..hope you escaped that. Well..... I am exhausted through lack of sleep, so am going to get my head down now. I’ve to make a cheeseboard for an anniversary party in the morning. Really wanted to go but neither of us feel in the mood for a party at the moment. Oh! Just thinking....make sure you are getting plenty of vitamins, fruit etc. to give your system a bit of a boost.

Hope this helps a bit. Have you got a garden? Being outdoors helps to cheer me up when I’m down in the dumps.

Hope you feel a bit brighter soon.

Hi aubrie, you really have had it tough I'm so sorry you lost your parents like that, the forum is a good place to let off steam have a good rant, on here we all know it helps to talk about problems we're not really a group we're more a very strange but big family on some of the strings you'll notice we talk about anything and everything it helps us to ease our worries and pains, have you been to where you're parents are take them flowers talk to them they'll be glad to hear your news good or bad, like you use to, I still visit my parents and my grandparents, when i can tell them my good and bad stories,, the pain does get easier we never forget them there part of us we are part of them, you'll be doing something and it'll remind you you used to do that with mum or dad, it still hurts but not so much, hope I've helped a little bit, best wishes. A friend... Billy 

Hi Aubrie, 

I am so sorry to hear your devastating losses, I do not have the advice on how to cope better as I have never been in your situation. I bet it is very hard and a constant rock weighing you down. Have you seen a doctor about how you are coping mentally? Maybe a referral to counciling will help? Or some tablets for anxiety/depression to aid you through your healing (it helped me with post natal depression). I do know though, you are too young to be going through this alone, and I do not like the fact you do not want to be here by disappearing . Im sure people do love you, and the fact you have given up work makes you feel isolated. Please see a GP and tell them your feelings, I am not qualified to give you the right advice/treatment, but I do know how it feels to not talk to people and building up things In your head. Trust me, don't let that happen. I know people who have been through loss and say it doesn't get easier but you learn to cope with it, I suppose it's just learning which coping mechanisms for yourself can ease the pain for you personally. Please please seek help, I wish I could give you a hug, I am a mum to three teeneagers and if this happened to them and they were begging for help on a forum I would be devastated. You are too young to be going through this alone. Sending loads of hugs and I'm begging you to sort some help and keep us updated xxxx

Completely agree with Paul about socialising, there are so many benefits to this. Maybe it's the last thing you feel you can do right now but try and push yourself to go even when you don't want to. I find making new friends always helps and each person will bring something to your life. I will worry about you now, that's just my makeup. Never give up though! X

Hi Aubrie. I am really sorry for your loss  My husband died 19 years ago when he was 31, I was 30 and our son was only 5 years old. I went to a very dark place like you, and all sorts of things entered my head, and suicide was one of them. I too didn't think that I would ever be happy or loved by a man ever again, so I didn't look. I was so upset about Andy's passing that I didn't want anyone else anyway. 12 years later I meet my now partner Paul, we have been together for 7 years, and I am loved again. So please please please don't give up. You are only 26 years old. You have got so much to offer this world, and one day out of the blue you will meet someone special who will give you the love and hugs you deserve and miss so much. Take care and if you need to, go to your doctor's. If you can't face talking to him, phone and explain your thoughts and they will help you. X If you want to, you can friend request me or anyone else on here. X