Hello there - I'm so sorry you & your family are in this very sad situation. It's so hard to watch someone we love very much to become so poorly & feeling lost & fearing for what is to come is how most people feel. You've come to the right place here - lots of people have been & are in the same kind of situation & sharing your feelings with them will help you to cope. 

I wish I could tell you what might happen but of course no-one can. You may be right of course that your dad is battling on to get to the anniversary which must mean so much to him & your mum. He clearly is a fighter & he's trying the best he knows how to cope as you are. 

I can say I think I understand that you must feel at the end of your tether but we human beings are often much stronger than we think we are & we do, somehow, manage to get through the most difficult of times. I certainly hope this is what you will find as you get through each day.

Do keep posting here as & when you feel you need to because you'll find you're not alone. xx

Hi There 

I can relate to everything you say as I lost my father from cancer aged just 54 back in 1984. A strong proud Yorkshire man who lived for his family, then in 2001 I lost my stepfather to lung cancer. I can remember my father being very short tempered, I put it down to his frustration of not being able to do the things he wanted to do without having to ask for help and nothing I did for him was ever right. You have to be incredibly strong for them as they will test your emotions till you want to burst.

Both my father & stepfather made me the woman I am today and now I’m on my own breast cancer journey so they’ve both given me the strength to deal with my journey now.

I truly feel for you and I’m sending positive hugs. Take care x