Hi Frankinsence,

It is late and I am on here, having finally broken down in tears after trying to keep so strong. My darling husband is 39 and at the end of September we were given the same diagnosis as you. It was so out of the blue, we thought he had IBS and to be told you have stage IV pancreatic cancer and six months left cannot be described in more words then devastating. 

We only met 7 years ago and he became step dad to my three young children after their bio father abanonded us to live in China. We married a year ago and now this. It is such a cruel, horrible illness.

Since diagnosis we have had a lot of emergencies. He had two rounds of chemo, but could not tolerate it. He has just come out of hospital where we almost lost him a week ago to a catastrophic internal bleed as the cancer is affecting the liver now. fortunately he is fighting, but he is ignoring plans or conversations about what we should plan for or what I should do.

The thought of not having him here to talk with to hold to touch is more painful then I can describe and I dont know how I will get through this. We are so madly in love, deeply in love and this is so unfair.

I do feel so blessed to have found love, like you, I feel so grateful but so, so sad....it is like a living death for the spouse, with such a range of emotions. Its ***.

Sending love...and strenght to you...just needed to vent through the tears tonight xxx

My thoughts are with you both! So sorry for your tears. Hugs X

My thoughts are with you both! So sorry for your tears. Hugs X