Hi Wendy

Welcome to this fantastic forum.  Living with cancer is sometimes very hard indeed, but sometimes when remission has arrived and there are dreams to follow, living with cancer can be fun.  You two sound like you have a great attitude to it all - realistic but wanting to get on and enjoy life the best you can anyway. 

It's "we two plus one cat" in this house also (oh, and plus the four fat pet ewes and four six month old weaner heifer calves but they're all out in the paddock ).  We are blessed to have your brothers and sisters looking after you - two of ours threw hissy fits for not being "first in the loop" five years ago and sent us to coventry (never to return!), another two siblings make make all the right supportive noises but text messages but don't lift a finger.  So treasure your siblings - they will make your dark days lighter

When Ian was diagnosed with colon cancer he was 54yrs and I was 50yrs respectively.  We had returned from Vancouver just days before, celebrating my dreaded 50th birthday.  How little I knew when I planned that trip about what the description "dread" could encompass!  We were three months from our 29th anniversary and I despaired of making it or us ever having fun together again.  Two months ago we flew from NZ to Melbourne, Australia, to eat at two of our favourite Masterchef judges restaurants to celebrate our 35th anniversary.  Neither of us dreamed we would celebrate that anniversary when we began this cancer journey - just shows what a realistic attitude, a good sense of fun and a nice spot of chemo can do  

The saddest thing about cancer is the nicest people get it.  You sound a lovely lady Wendy - to want to help not only yourself and your man, but others as well.  Good on you!  I send everything of the best to you and your man.  Let us all know how you two are doing....

Lorraine

PS - Sorry for some "blonde" moments in my post - should have proof-read it before "posting" it.  Blame Ian's chemo yesterday which causes insommnia (for him anyway - my excuse is I keep him company) so we were both wide awake till 1am.  The only one sleeping and snoring was the cat, Rosie,  tucked up in bed beside Ian

Just had a thought - don't worry too much about putting some flesh on your man.  Once he is having chemo and the steroids that go with it to make the nausea meds work well, if he's anything like my lean, mean man he will quickly and easily put on kilos - lots of them.  Ian has a big, beer belly without a drop of alcohol over the eight months of treatment - it's all good, wholesome food!!  And, happily, he lost it again 5 1/2yrs ago when he returned to work!!   Hope this helps

LK

Hi Lorraine

Thanks alot for getting back to me. It is good to hear positive words from someone who has gone through the same experiences.

it is only a week since Michaels surgery and he is only just starting to eat and drink a little. They explained that the bowel is a very sensitive organ and it decided to have a rest for a few days which meant that he had to have a tube in to drain the build up of gastric juices in his stomach for the second time. He says having that put in (twice!) has been the worst thing so far.

His eldest sister and her husband went to see him last night and they rang me when they got back to say that he was alot better and only had the saline drip in now and they hoped to have him eating today. I have spoken to him this morning and the small amount of food he had yesterday made him sick. The doctor has told him that he should stick to fluid today and they are giving him an energy drink along with tea. He sounded a bit disappointed and said he didn't want to get scared of eating anything in case he felt sick. I am going to see him tonight so will see how things are then.

Do you find that time seems to slow down? Yesterday I was talking to his sister and I realised that it was only a week since he was in surgery. We are all expecting alot to happen as it seems like an age ago since he went in. I found that the same when we were telling people when we had found out - was it really only a month ago?!!!

Thanks for the advice about the weight gain when he gets going with his treatment. I think all I really want is for him to feel like eating again. He has always had a good appetite, but has a very sweet tooth which I think is not a good thing for cancer fighting. He will have to be on a restricted diet due to the stoma. The Macmillan nurse gave us a list of foods that were recommended while he was taking co codamol as that can cause constipation, but unfortunately too late to aviod surgery. My experience of the Macmillan nurse has not been as positive as some. I think we needed more contact in the early days, although they said they give you a couple of weeks to come to terms with the news. You really dont know what help you need when you first find out so it would be good to have more contact from them to see how things are going. She has not been in touch since he went into hospital which I find odd.

Michael started with this last year with a pain in his side and then aching in his testicles.  I think he may have been suffering longer than he admits. We thought it was a hernia and I never even thought of anything more serious. His GP was hopeless. Gave him antibiotics thinking it was a bug and then several drugs to treat irritable bowel syndrome. She even used the words ' tummy ache ' 3 times in one appointment like she was speaking to a child. In the end he took himself into A&E and finally we got some progress. It seems IBS is the first thing they think of.

It's unbelievable that relatives would feel annoyed about being left out or the last to know - how petty. Sounds like an excuse for avoiding the stress and upset but unfortunately that's life. A text message is not going to cut it when times are hard.

Do you have family close by? Michael has 2 sisters and 2 brothers within 5 minutes of us and the rest are not more than an hour away so we are very lucky. That's an advantage of being a country bumpkin !!!

Jonathan is our cat. Nearly 8 years old and great company. We had just got a puppy a couple of weeks before the news and we have had to re home him as he was hard work even for a fit person.We have found him a wonderful new home but its about 70 miles away. His new mum is keeping in touch and has sent some lovely photos this week of him with his new family and dog friends. Looks like he is having a great time !

Time for some late lunch.

Catch you later

Wendy

Hi newworld

Don't despair. You are not alone. There are others here who are going through similar experiences and by talking to them, you may feel better. There are some discussions involving breast cancer that you may want to join. You could introduce yourself to some ladies here if you like. They are very friendly and will be able to talk through any anxiety you may have.

You can also talk to our cancer nurses if you feel this might help. They are on freephone: 0808 800 4040, from Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm.

Welcome to Cancer Chat.

Jane

Hi there

I understand how scared you are. I dont think there is a person on here that hasnt been to some degree or another. Everything is really fresh for you, but believe me it does get slightly easier as time goes on.  Not everyone can be as positive as others. We all handle it very differently. I was like you at the beginning, it was awful I felt that after the diagnosis I would be dead within a fortnight ! I was working towards it in my own head. All around me was saying things like Im saying to you and I thought I knew better. BUT as the hours turned in to days my thoughts did change. I became more positive. The medical staff gave me a bit more confidence as they seemed to know what they were doing and they had a plan that I felt safe in. Im quite a way down the road now. My dx was in Sept last year. Im having chemo now with radiotherapy to come. Dont get me wrong I hit the floor sometimes still. But I have to take a deep breathe, and wait for it to pass. Because it will and does.

If you look for symptoms you will find them ! Your mind is all over the place. Don't read to much on the internet. Ask the professionals. Keep coming back here, there are people that will listen and help you. Its a brilliant site and its helped me no end.

Try not to worry to much about things you cant change or have any control over, thats wasted strength.

I would also say start keeping a diary now, that way in a couple of weeks you'll look back and realise that you're feeling slightly better,

If you have any q's please ask me, Im happy to help if I can,

Big fat cyber hug to you

Marian x x

Thank you for your response, it's so hard at the moment working with Tom and Sophie and not being able to say anything about it, Phil wants to wait for the treatment plan before we do, as you did. I'll be relieved when it's out  but I think it will open the flood gates which wont be easy when working in the cafe. We have had no word except a CT scan on the 16th is booked. I wrote a pleading letter to GP using the repeat prescription email address! They will think I've gone bonkers. The bowel specialist nurse has not been near her phone for a week now.

Kind regards, Sue

My name is Graham,my wife Melenie recently received the all clear (if such a thing exsists) this is the best news we could ever have, I feel somehow guilty for posting this when so many of you are going through hell.

1 thing is crystal clear to me reading these posts, on this forum you are not alone, Sarah,Renata, Jane and Lucie you do a fantastic job.

Mel is doing the race for life at tilgate park 20th  june, she doesn't know but I shall be dressed as a gorilla (she loves Gorillas/Monkeys) so a surprise for her at the end

God Bless you all   

Hi Sue

I see you haven't been able to raise the bowel specialist nurse.  You must have so many unanswered questions tormenting you both.  Did you see on the right side of the page there's a place where you can contact the specialist nurses on this site?  Maybe they can fill some of the gaps for you?

Lorraine

Hi graymel

Thanks for posting such positive news. Please don't feel guilty! It's great to read success stories like your Mel's. It keeps us all going. Please do post a pic of you in the gorilla outfit at Race for Life if you get the chance. We would love to see it!

Best wishes and thanks for your kind words.

Jane