Hi Ruth21,

I am so sorry to hear that you've recently lost your Mam and offer my deepest condolences. I lost my Mam 28 years ago, after a horrendous 12 year battle with breast cancer, which eventually spread to her brain, bones, liver and lungs. Like you, I could not get the picture of her last months and especially the last few weeks out of my head. I kept a photograph of her in happier times in a prominent position at home and often found myself talking to her as I passed it. This memory stayed with me for several years, no matter how I tried to erase it. I have since learned that this is a common problem for many who have lost a loved one.

I have tried to concentrate on earlier memories with her since she passed and am glad to say that these have now taken precedence. I try not to dwell on this final spell, as it is so upsetting. I am not saying that it will take 28 years to come to terms with this, but it is something that we all do in our own time. I sincerely hope that you will get there eventually and I wish you the strength to do so.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx