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Frightened and scared of dying

LisaR1870
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Hello I'm Lisa.  I am 55 years old and have approximately 1year left to live.

I am so sorry but I am feeling helpless, frightened and scared.  The bad dreams and thoughts are plaguing me right now.  Nighttime is always the worse.

I am surrounded by a loving family and  have amazing friends.

I have read everywhere to make the most of every single day, and believe me I do try.  I just can't seem to settle or stop the tears.

I was so sure I would be okay.  When I heard the news, inoperable and terminal I just can't process it right.  I was until January 4th a secondary school teacher.  Now I feel everything was taken away from me in 1 week.

Please somebody tell me I'm not alone.  I know deep down there is huge suffering out there and I'm being ungrateful, selfish and bitter but that isn't really like me, or I didn't think I was.j

II'm just scared....

Lisa

  • Offline in reply to LisaR1870

    Hi Lisa,  I am so sorry to hear about your diagnosis.  It is so frightening being told your cancer is not curable.  I know what you mean when I was told I had incurable cancer I thought my life was over.  All my dreams and plans seemed to disappear when I was told.  We had planned to move abroad this year back to our family in South Africa and plans to travel and do adventures.  In one sentence it felt like it was wiped out.  I am now one year on and life is good again.  I have to make new plans and smaller adventures but it has taken me a long time to come to terms with it (I am not sure that I have or if I am in denial).  I have not been given a life expectancy and I don't want to know.  I am just taking each day at a time.  I am on the Macmillan forum for incurable cancer and so many people have lived far longer than what they have been told.  The new medicine treatments and trials that are coming out give me hope.  I wanted to tell you that you are not alone and I am here to chat.  Take care and sending you hugs.

    Lee x

  • Offline in reply to leelaloo

    Thank you Lee for replying.  I really am grateful you took the time.  I hope we can stay in contact

  • Offline in reply to LisaR1870

    Anytime Lisa, I am on here everydayx

    Lee x

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