Hello Stuart, welcome to the club that no-one wants to join.  I am also terminal......breast cancer which has spread to just about everywhere.  The worst time for me is the middle of the night, when everyone is asleep and it feels like you are the only person on the planet.  I was first diagnosed 6 years ago and to be honest, I was courageous at first.........but now, I truly am frightened.  I wish I could be more up-beat for you,  I can only say that I know EXACTLY how you are feeling, and it is not a nice place to be.  Anyway Stuart, I am praying for you.  I hope you will not be offended because I know that many folks do not have religious beliefs, and if you are one of them, please accept my apology in advance, but  please know that my prayers for you are genuinely coming from a place of wanting to help you in some small way. xx  Violet