Hi Trisha,

I am so sorry to hear that you lost your mum and then got this devastating news so soon after her passing. Unfortunately, none of us are ever the same after a cancer diagnosis and we would dearly love to be back to how we were before this. It sounds as if you have a very supportive and loving husband, who doesn't want you to give up.

I lost my mum to secondary breast cancer and have since had 2 bouts of this myself, plus a diagnosis of pre-cancer, all within a year of each other. That was all 15 years ago now and I have tried everything I can to improve my lot since then. I felt like you to start with, but sought help from a counsellor at a Maggies' centre. I also attended some moving forward classes run by Breast Cancer Now. There I met people in a similar position and we formed a support group, which was very helpful. I then joined a Pain Management course, run by a doctor and a psychiatrist. I also joined some cancer forums and got some great advice and support from some really tremendous people.

I would certainly advise you to try some of these services, before you give up. 

The ultimate decision is yours and only you can make it. Whatever decision you come to, I sincerely hope that it'll be the right one for you. 

Please keep in touch and let us know what conclusion you come to. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hello Trisha,

no one receiving a stage 4 cancer diagnosis can be anything but totally overwhelmed, with the climb back out of total despondancy being one if not the most difficult challenge anyone can face. We do not come pre armed with the knowledge of how to do so and everything starts from ground zero.

No surprise then our first instincts are to reach for the escape from reality option, but that's complicated by the minds insistance that you need to escape to reality. That is what creates the torment you have to go through.

That you will have eventually goes without saying,the key two messages l would pass on to you as a stage 4 ten year survivor would be do not pile self imposed stress upon yourself denying your body its full attention of bringing it through back to health. Focus and find your way of doing so and do not be lulled into thinking you can retreat back within yourself to do so. Be greedy and outgoing in seeking help and solace whenever and wherever you can find it.Their is a saying that a warrior can win a fight, but an army wins the battle.

So as Jolamine has wisely suggested, arm yourself with all the support that is available, l found that it helped to change my outlook in such a positive way. You have a strong foundation to build upon with your husbands support.

Finally l would say there is sunshine beyond the dark clouds that currently hide it from your view, its up to you to pass beyond them and benefit from the mental warmth that can come from that..

l am joining the many cheerleaders who will be encouraging you to do so as you travel along your journey towards the destination called recovery,

David

Hi Trisha,

Your feelings are pretty normal for that stage of chemo. 
The logical part of your mind knows your best option is to carry on, but the animal part of your brain wants all the horrible side effects to stop. 

Have you spoken to your team about how they might better control any side effects you are havibg? I did around the time of my third cycle and anti-nausea meds and steroid treatment made things more bearable. 

Good luck!
Dave