Hi Cazzz1957, and a warm welcome to the forum, firstly everything your feeling and how hubby's dealing with the diagnosis is perfectly normal, I too have prostate cancer and we were exactly like you both are in the beginning as well, It' an awful thing to be told you have cancer and i believe it's even harder for the partner, this is the toughest time for everyone, being diagnosed and waiting for treatment  to start so please don't be hard on yourself, your not useless, it just takes a little time to adjust and I promise things do get easier. I'm guessing hubby's doing ok regarding symptoms, many of us when diagnosed had none or very mild ones, Cazz this very often changes when you start the ADT injections, they often come with side effects which you can deal with if and when you should get them, there's no way to predict which if any you get, except fatigue, which almost everyone gets and luckily is the only one you can do something about before it starts, getting hubby as fit as you can now, will lessen and shorten the impact fatigue can have on you and it helps you emotionally as well, best wishes with treatment

Eddie xx

Hi Cazz1957, I’m so sorry you and your husband are having to deal with his illness. I’m sure it’s come as a complete shock to you both. My husband was diagnosed with advanced prostate cance in 2022 and I felt just as you describe. Helpless because there’s nothing you can do to regain control of this rollercoaster you find yourself on and useless because you cannot do anything at the moment to make things better. I’m sure once you have a clear treatment plan with dates and timescales it will help a bit. It is so scary not knowing what to expect or knowing how the various treatments will affect your husband and I think everyone reacts differently. For us, the first month was the most difficult until treatment started and we began to see good results. We tried to take things a day at a time, did what we could to distract ourselves, but also did some of the practical things, like putting in a walk in shower. Hand rails on the steps in the garden. We also ensured our power of attorneys were in place and updated our wills. 
Im sure as the shock lessens you will begin to feel a little better. 
happy to chat again if it helps at all. Be kind to yourself 

xx