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Wife of a prostate cancer patient

Cazz1957
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Hi all this is where we don’t want to be I’m sure well my husband was diagnosed 3 weeks ago with prostate cancer and has started to have hormone therapy then he has to have injections and after that radical radiation I just feel so helpless I have bad days I have better days he is I think in denial he’s going on like he is fine  I’m sure that’s his way of dealing with it but I feel useless 

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    Hi Cazzz1957, and a warm welcome to the forum, firstly everything your feeling and how hubby's dealing with the diagnosis is perfectly normal, I too have prostate cancer and we were exactly like you both are in the beginning as well, It' an awful thing to be told you have cancer and i believe it's even harder for the partner, this is the toughest time for everyone, being diagnosed and waiting for treatment  to start so please don't be hard on yourself, your not useless, it just takes a little time to adjust and I promise things do get easier. I'm guessing hubby's doing ok regarding symptoms, many of us when diagnosed had none or very mild ones, Cazz this very often changes when you start the ADT injections, they often come with side effects which you can deal with if and when you should get them, there's no way to predict which if any you get, except fatigue, which almost everyone gets and luckily is the only one you can do something about before it starts, getting hubby as fit as you can now, will lessen and shorten the impact fatigue can have on you and it helps you emotionally as well, best wishes with treatment

    Eddie xx

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    Hi Cazz1957, I’m so sorry you and your husband are having to deal with his illness. I’m sure it’s come as a complete shock to you both. My husband was diagnosed with advanced prostate cance in 2022 and I felt just as you describe. Helpless because there’s nothing you can do to regain control of this rollercoaster you find yourself on and useless because you cannot do anything at the moment to make things better. I’m sure once you have a clear treatment plan with dates and timescales it will help a bit. It is so scary not knowing what to expect or knowing how the various treatments will affect your husband and I think everyone reacts differently. For us, the first month was the most difficult until treatment started and we began to see good results. We tried to take things a day at a time, did what we could to distract ourselves, but also did some of the practical things, like putting in a walk in shower. Hand rails on the steps in the garden. We also ensured our power of attorneys were in place and updated our wills. 
    Im sure as the shock lessens you will begin to feel a little better. 
    happy to chat again if it helps at all. Be kind to yourself 

    xx

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    Hi cazzz1957 I am in the same place as you. My husband was diagnosed with grade 4 prostate cancer and has just had 20 treatment of radiotherapy and currently now has to have hormone injections for the next 3 years. I feel so helpless, he has been lucky with side effects and just got fatigue which he has found hard to cope with, but he is getting there. Have now got to wait till January to see how he has responded to the treatment. The waiting is the worst

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