Scared 34 year old female awaiting tests

Thought I was just overweight and bloated as every time I have every been to the doctor's I have been told I needed to lose weight. 

Tried low fodmap, elimination, everything, nothing helped. 

Eventually went to the docs, turns out I have an abdominal mass and high CA125 levels. 

Awaiting an ultrasound, but feel like a terrified balloon being slowly inflated whilst I wait. 

Any recommendations on how to calm the brain and stop me constantly googling the worst?

Angry and sad at myself for leaving it so long before going to the doctor's and worried I've left it too long.