Hello Doo2190, 

A big welcome to Cancer Chat! I am so sorry to hear about your husband - it sounds like he went through rather gruelling treatment and the discomfort perhaps of the nasal feeds for example may be having an effect on his mood. Rest assured you are not doing anything wrong and you seem to be looking after him incredibly well but he seems to be a little bit down and it might be worth getting in touch with his GP and mentioning how he has been with you recently and how affected he has been by treatment. There is a member of our forum I would like to put you in touch with, RadioactiveRaz - she also went through tonsil cancer treatment and will understand very well how things may currently feel for you and your husband. She has a fantastic tonsil cancer blog too. 

You mentioned you looked after him 24/7 and you seem to be doing amazingly as a carer but it's important also not to forget to look after yourself which can be easily done when you are focusing all your energy on looking after your husband. There is useful information on our website for Family, Friends and Caregivers including on taking care of yourself - it will give you some good tips to make sure you take some time to look after yourself physically and emotionally and find ways to recharge your batteries. 

Caring for someone is extremely physically and emotionally tiring and there are great resources to support carers during this difficult time - have a look for example at the CarersUK website who offer great help and advice for carers in the UK. 

I hope that you will hear from other members of our community who have been in a similar position before and have looked after a loved one with cancer and that they will be along shortly to share their experiences and personal stories with you. 

We're thinking of you during this difficult time.

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hello Doo2190, 

A big welcome to Cancer Chat! I am so sorry to hear about your husband - it sounds like he went through rather gruelling treatment and the discomfort perhaps of the nasal feeds for example may be having an effect on his mood. Rest assured you are not doing anything wrong and you seem to be looking after him incredibly well but he seems to be a little bit down and it might be worth getting in touch with his GP and mentioning how he has been with you recently and how affected he has been by treatment. There is a member of our forum I would like to put you in touch with, RadioactiveRaz - she also went through tonsil cancer treatment and will understand very well how things may currently feel for you and your husband. She has a fantastic tonsil cancer blog too. 

You mentioned you looked after him 24/7 and you seem to be doing amazingly as a carer but it's important also not to forget to look after yourself which can be easily done when you are focusing all your energy on looking after your husband. There is useful information on our website for Family, Friends and Caregivers including on taking care of yourself - it will give you some good tips to make sure you take some time to look after yourself physically and emotionally and find ways to recharge your batteries. 

Caring for someone is extremely physically and emotionally tiring and there are great resources to support carers during this difficult time - have a look for example at the CarersUK website who offer great help and advice for carers in the UK. 

I hope that you will hear from other members of our community who have been in a similar position before and have looked after a loved one with cancer and that they will be along shortly to share their experiences and personal stories with you. 

We're thinking of you during this difficult time.

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator