Welcome to the forum Kwetu although I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis and all that you have been through with cancer. 

As you say in your post, choosing whether to have treatment or not at this stage is a very personal choice, and one that has to be right for you, so I hope you are able to get all the information you need before making your final decision.

I hope it helps to know that quite a few of our members have been in a similar position, so you are not alone, and hopefully you will receive some support and advice from them soon.

If you'd like to discuss any of this, including the anxiety you have about the process of dying, with one of our cancer nurses, you can do so on 0808 800 4040, Monday - Friday between 9a.m - 5pm. They're very supportive, and insightful, and will do all they can to help you at this time.

Kind regards,

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi Kwetu,

Only you can make this decision - however hard it may be for your loved ones to accept.

I went through something similar with my mother. She’d had two different cancers and had been through surgery, radiotherapy and chemo.

Her oncologist said further chemo might extend her life by three to six months. In her words she said thst she’d decided she’d rather enjoy whatever time she had left that God had granted her without going through the side effects of chemo again.

My Dad, one brother, my sister and I all supported this decision but another brother found it hard to accept. He lived hundreds of miles away and hadn’t seen her suffer from chemo and hadn’t seen how resolved Mam was in her decision. It took a while but he eventually agreed with her decision.

Things went as well as they could have done. She had several weeks of near normal life before end of life care at home managed by Marie Curie and MacMillan nurses, supervised by Dad and her GP. Her final hours were exactly as she had planned with Dad, me and my sister with her. I hope my eventual passing will be as peaceful.

None of us wants to give up fighting but sometimes we need to balance quality of life with longevity. This has to be our decision at a time when it feels right for us. 

Good luck in reaching a decision which is right for you. 
Dave

Many thanks for relaying your experiences. In my circumstances I find it difficult to make a case for accepting the very toxic therapy on offer for a few more months on my own. I am grateful for your account