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Partners mother has cancer, and can’t talk about the future

Maxwell111
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I love my partner very much, however since we've been together they can't talk about the future as they've told me that the future exists without their mother in it. Of course, I completely support them - however it gets to a point where life goals, values, marriage / children are important to discuss. We've been together for nearly 3 years, and they still find it incredibly difficult to talk about. I don't know if I'm being ridiculous, or if I need to accept the fact that I can't dixsus these things with them at the moment, because oF the sensitive situation. Or maybe I do deserve to know some of these things? Any thoughts greatly appreciated.

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    Hi Maxwell,

    A very warm welcome to our forum.

    I am sorry to hear about your partner's mother. and the fact that her family cannot talk about the future. Many find themselves in this unenviable situation, but most would try to bring the wedding date forward, so that their parent can see them get married. It is important for a family to be able to discuss circumstances surrounding a cancer diagnosis. Do you think that it might be helpful for your partner and possibly other members of her family, to speak to a counsellor? People often find it easier to speak to a stranger about their feelings, than they do to a loved one. Many of the cancer charities nationwide offer free cancer counselling to family members.

    This is a time for the family to make as many memories as they can with their mum, to put the bigger picture behind them and deal with things day by day, or even hour by hour, if need be. You are certainly not being ridiculous. All of the things you mention are important topics for a couple to discuss and I do hope that you manage to break through the wall of silence on these matters.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

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    Hi Maxwell,

    A very warm welcome to our forum.

    I am sorry to hear about your partner's mother. and the fact that her family cannot talk about the future. Many find themselves in this unenviable situation, but most would try to bring the wedding date forward, so that their parent can see them get married. It is important for a family to be able to discuss circumstances surrounding a cancer diagnosis. Do you think that it might be helpful for your partner and possibly other members of her family, to speak to a counsellor? People often find it easier to speak to a stranger about their feelings, than they do to a loved one. Many of the cancer charities nationwide offer free cancer counselling to family members.

    This is a time for the family to make as many memories as they can with their mum, to put the bigger picture behind them and deal with things day by day, or even hour by hour, if need be. You are certainly not being ridiculous. All of the things you mention are important topics for a couple to discuss and I do hope that you manage to break through the wall of silence on these matters.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

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