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I'm new here - Prostate cancer diagnosis

KevinPeter
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I was diagnosed with prostate cancer on 31st Dec '21. Grade 2,  Gleason score of 7 (3+4)  and suggestion that probably 50% of R/H side is affected  - due to have robotic surgery in a few weeks so no nerve sparing on right.   I have been really strong for my family and friends but I'm actually scared witless of losing my sexual function.   I've been doing pelvic floor exercises for some time so really hoping that will help any incontinence issues within the first few months.

I've researched a lot re pumps and viagra and hoping and praying that I can achieve at least the 50% chance I've been given of ever having an erection again.   Part of my coping method is to write how I feel, in script and poetry.  Below is my "before op" poem and I hope that I can write an "after op" poem that gives a positive outcome.

 

I WISH I WAS FOUR AGAIN

 

I’ve been with Chap all my life

We’ve seen fun times, troubles and strife

He’s been my companion, my best friend

I thought he’d be with me until the end

 

He wakes me up from slumber deep,

And sometimes when needed, he goes to sleep

But from deep in my heart, I have to say

I don’t want Chap to go away

 

He takes me to places I could never go

He’s always with me, but never on show

He lies with me on my bed

He’s forever with me, in my head

 

He greets me every morning,

Before the alarm can sound

And sometimes during the day

You can sense that he’s around

 

So as I face the next chapter of life

Lying beneath the da Vinci knife

With worrying thoughts going through my head

When I wake up, will Chap be dead

 

I don’t know how I’ll cope

If Chap isn’t here with me

Perhaps it will just be different

I’ll have to wait and see

 

I wish I was four again

When life didn’t trouble me.

 

 

  • Hello KevinPeter

    I'm sorry to hear about your recent diagnosis and that you're now waiting for surgery.

    I wanted to reply to your post to thank you for being so very honest and open about a subject that is still often quite taboo for those who are affected by cancer. It's a perfectly natural and understandable concern but not one that is necessarily easy to talk about with others. and is often brushed under the carpet. 

    You don't mention in your post if you have a partner, but if there is someone special in your life, I'd really encourage you to talk to them about how you're feeling. It's very likely that they're also sharing some of your concerns. Hopefully being open and honest with each other will help to bring you closer and enable you to better support each other. If you find it difficult to start the conversation you could use your poem to broach the subject. 

    It sounds like you've already done lots of reading and research and you're aware of some of the possible options available to you should you need them. Do talk to your Consultant and/or your clinical nurse specialist about your concerns and any issues that you may have following your surgery. If you're not already aware then you might want to have a look at the Prostate Cancer UK website. They have a specialist sexual support service available to men and/or their partners who have had had treatment for prostate cancer. 

    I wish you well with your surgery. Remember that it takes time to fully recover so don't be too downhearted if you do initially experience some problems.

    I'll keep my eye open for your post-op poem. 

    Best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator 

  • Offline in reply to Moderator Jenn

    Thanks Jenn - really appreciate the response and advice. 
     

    There certainly seems to be a lot of help available and the NHS staff have been absolutely fantastic.  
     

    I'll certainly get the post-op poem up when I'm again "creative" after surgery. 
     

    Thanks again, much appreciated. 
    Kevin

  • Offline in reply to KevinPeter

    Hopefully [@telemando]‍  will reply soon as he had his out years ago .

    Mine was to spread, lymph nodes spine ribs pelvis and a lung , diagnosed Feb 2016 , Gleason 8 PSA 1581 stage 4 T3B N1 M1B . im on strong hormone Therapy for life, having a good life and feeling healthy apart from impotence, but still having a good time been married 50 years December .

    As I said hope [@telemando]‍ Will Pop on .

    Good luck .

    Billy

     

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